Customer Reviews

Thorn in My Pocket: Temple Grandin's Mother Tells the Family Story

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3 star:		(1)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

Eustacia Cutler's book about raising Temple Grandin answers the two questions I've always had whenever I've heard or read about Temple Grandin. How did Temple survive in a time when everyone was warehousing their kids with autism in mental institutions and how did she succeed so well as an adult?

This is not a "how-to" book on educational procedures or anything like that. By reading this autobiography, you will understand the character of Temple's mother, who quite literally saved Temple's life. Fifty-some years ago, Eustacia was the product of her time in most ways--the stay-at-home wife to a wealthy man who was bent upon institutionalizing Temple, particularly when he got the support from psychiatrists who believed at the time that the reason for Temple's autism was Eustacia herself.

There's a real lesson to learn here. Instead of surrendering her child, the originally compliant Eustacia (women were supposed to be that in the 40s and 50s) changed. She intuitively knew that if she gave up whom she could be, her child would be given up as well. She fought ferociously and even walked away from her marriage and her economic well being to save her child. And at that time, when she faced a family who didn't support the divorce financially and a society that looked down on single mothers, she had four children!

If there's one thing that stands out in this book, it's that you have to be who you are and all you can be in order to give that same gift to your child. Temple Grandin comes by her strength, intelligence, and creativity because she had a mother who studied every angle of whatever or whoever she could find to help her child and wasn't afraid to try anything, from allowing her child to negotiate with a local merchant to fighting for her child's right to the education Eustacia believed would save her.

The reader gets a clear picture of the evolution of the science of autism over the decades with some pretty deep conclusions on Temple's mother's part. It's personal. It's incredibly written. This is NOT a how-to-raise-your-child book. It's a story about the meaning of life and society itself. I'd recommend to anyone who wants to know how character is formed-it's not just parents of children with autism. It's one of the best books I've read in a long, long time and I'm eighty years old with a library of books I've read over a lifetime!

There are so many wonderful layers to this book. I have to admit that early on I pigeon-holed Ms. Cutler, almost dismissing her, for having what appeared to be a rarified life. But her accessible language, her wit, her determination, pulled me along until I saw how very wrong I was. She cuts herself no slack as she peels back layer after layer of her life, revealing how she struggled to find ways to give her firstborn child, Temple, a shot at a life of possibilities. As the layers fell away, I could see just how high the stakes really were. Like her, some of us have found ourselves doing battle with people who say they love us and with the experts. We can identify with the pain and the personal costs to our identity, our sanity and, yes, our soul. Ms. Cutler's journey includes her involvement with people, places and events that are now acknowledged as major influences of the 20th century, giving us some rare glimpses of living history. In the end, when you remember how frighteningly easy it would have been, how expected, frankly, for Ms. Cutler to have simply put Temple in an institution, you can appreciate her love and determination to face the fear of the unknown, to eventually leave the favored, the familiar, the expected, to find her own way.

To those who say this is not a "How To" book, I have to disagree.
Eustacia Cutler tells us "How To" fight for a child's right to be a part of family and society. She tells "How To" stay the course when family and physicians conspire against you. "How To" overcome the feelings of guilt and being overwhelmed; "How To" get on with life. "How To" be supportive of a child who was unable to show affection and was so often at odds with the world. Temple's mother has written a beautiful, sensitive book. It is a book that fills one with hope; if Eustacia and Temple can have such a successful outcome, so perhaps can others.

This author was constrained in her telling of the 'family story' by an embargo from her adult children who requested that their stories be largely omitted. However, as the main character was her daughter 'Temple'she still managed to impart interesting facts and portrayed the difficulties and some triumphs as she struggled with her unusual daughter and the strains the situations placed on her (Eustacia's) marriage. As a project worker involved in supporting families of school aged children with autism, I found it interesting and valuable as well as a good story in it's own right.

I just couldn't put down Eustacia Cutler's book. It's the most totally gripping, fascinating, amazing story I've ever read. First, the book is the story of Eustacia Cutler's belief in her child and her fierce battles to keep her child in the world (rather than institutionalize her). She repeatedly introduces Temple to new experiences in a time when children who "were different" were hidden away--sometimes, literally in closets. When, finally, Eustacia found a school that introduced Temple to the things that intrigued her (her love of animals and her ability to visualize because she thinks in pictures), Temple was inspired to become the person she became--a Ph.D. in animal science.

This book is a piece of poetry in the way it's written. I've told everyone I've seen about it because the images are haunting, from the visit to the "insane" children in institutions to the myth about Frankenstein. A Thorn in My Pocket is so sensitively written, I could feel the mother's heartbeat.If you read only one book this year, this is the one you should choose. You'll be a better person for it and, if you're a parent of a child with autism, you'll have a role model to help you along the way.

As a parent of a son with autism I was very excited to read what Temple Grandin's mother had to say! I really appreciated that she was so open and honest about her fears, hopes, ups and downs. It amazed me that she had such great insight to what her daughter needed when (at that point in time) society usually forgot about autistic people. I loved the book and if she ever writes another, I'll buy that too!

When I picked up Thorn in My Pocket, I didn't really know much about autism, but, by the time I finished, I not only had insight about the complexity of the condition, I understood the essence of humanity because that's really what the book is all about. Ms. Cutler's whole point is that we all see the world in a unique fashion, and this is as true for someone who may not be verbal and who has been diagnosed with autism as those who are verbal and so-called normal. In a way, she makes the case that people with autism have talents and perceptions those of us who aren't would like to have. Ms. Cutler searingly examines the whole science of the mind and why we think the way we do. This book makes you recognize the components of our humanity, so it's far broader than just a book about raising Temple Grandin. If you want an instruction book on how to teach a child with autism how to read or relate, go get one of the dozens that does that. A Thorn in My Pocket does much more. It is a beautifully-written book on individuality.

I loved the book. I was fortunate enough to hear Mrs. Cutler speak a few years ago, and have been waiting for her book to be published.
I found it very comforting, and insightful. It gives me much hope for my son, who seems to have a lot of the same behaviors that Temple did.
I thought the part about Mrs. Cutler's life was interesting. We all must have a life outside of autism.
This is not a book on how to solve your problems with your autistic child, but a book about a mother who raised a child with autism, 3 other children, and lived to write about it. It is good to know that in the end we will make it through all of this. We need also to remember Temple was raised in a time with little knowledge of how to help autisic children.
I loved it, I loved it I loved it!!!!!!

I waited for months to receive this book and was terribly excited when it came last week. I was looking for some answers to be a better mother to my autistic son. Unfortunately, about thrity pages in to this book, I realized this was not going to provide me any inspiration. Ms. Cutler tells the story of her life, with Temple entering in the story almost as a sideline. Temple seems to get out of her autism state without explanation - very few pages are devoted to the work that it took to get Temple to relate to the world. Her early years are given brief mention, and somehow Temple goes to school and functions fairly normally. I have the feeling Ms. Cutler forgot what Temple was like as a small girl. Most pages detail Ms. Cutler's difficult marriage and family, and her own personal struggles. Her children appear and disappear, and the timeline of the book is very confusing. Where was the editor of the book to sort out these jagged edges?
I think most people will read this book for the same reason I did - to find help for their children. But they will be disappointed. I would recommend buying instead a book by Temple Grandin - she is a great writer and makes the autistic world a little more understandable.

This book was a dissapointment to me. I know that her other children didn't want to be mentioned in this book, but even if they had been mentioned Im not sure it would have mattered. This is not a story about Temple or her family. It is however a book about Temples mom and her life, not necessarily her life involving anyone else. She is a priviledged woman who isn't too in touch with anyone but herself. After reading the inside cover I was hopeful that this book was exactly what I was looking for, but I was misled. The book is nothing like the cover's brief insight into life, but more like a bunch of similies and metaphors stuffed together in random order. It seemed sometimes as if she couldn't complete a thought or even a short story about Temple with out rambling on like some theater major putting on an over the top monologue. "A chink, I think I found a chink!" If you can get through all these ramblings you may find one complete thought that could potentially be helpful. I didn't however.
I have 2 autistic children and they are not nearly as functional as Temple but since I was so inspired by Temples writing I was hoping for so much more from this, her mothers, biography. I'm not saying Ms. Cutler shouldn't talk about herself at all, but if this book was truly supposed to give us all a look into Temple's life and family, Ms. Cutler needs to remember the phrase I repeat to myself daily "This isn't about you anymore, its about your children."
My mother just met with Temple and her mother yesterday and they are exactly like their books. Temple, a down to earth sweet loving lady and her mother still a high society lady who vacations at Martha's Vineyard and always talks like she is performing on a stage. There needs to be a book written by an average parent of an autistic child, or children, that had to struggle with money and with the schools and can still remember these struggles. Maybe I will write one :)