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The Three of Us: A Family Story (Hardcover)

by Julia Blackburn (Author)
Key Phrases: Cambria Lodge, Doctor Kollestrom, Rosalie de Meric (more...)
3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (12 customer reviews)

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
English writer Blackburn (Daisy Bates in the Desert) had two extraordinary parents, poet Thomas Blackburn and painter Rosalie de Meric. Her utterly doting father, who'd sit on the toilet seat and recite poetry with her when she bathed, eventually died of the alcohol and pill addictions that fueled his adult life. Both parents entertained long lists of lovers. After they separated, Julia (who was born in 1948) lived mostly with her mother, who painted heavily symbolic nudes and ethereal landscapes, and the young boarders her mother was forever trying to seduce. As Julia grew older, Rosalie worried that her pubescent daughter was becoming more enticing; enraged, she'd goad Julia into flirtations and then accuse her of spoiling Rosalie's romances. Julia steered clear of most of her parents' sexual nonsense, except for a significant affair with one of her mother's ex-lovers that ended with his suicide. Using excerpts from her own journal, snippets from her mother's papers and her father's poetry, Julia gradually came to terms with something her father told her, that we chose our parents so we must forgive them, if we are to forgive ourselves. Her father wasn't the problem—as bizarrely as he behaved, she'd never felt threatened by him. Instead, it's her mother's endless anger that's the vortex of this strangely compelling memoir. (July)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review
"Despite the darkness of the rooms she re-enters, Blackburn's book isn't gloomy in the least . . . However unforgiving her detail, tout comprendre, c'est tout pardonner is the message of this extraordinary book."
--Blake Morrison, The Guardian

"This memoir has warmth and love it's hard to imagine could have been possible. Readers be warned--this is no misery-lit memoir. There's something else going on entirely. [The Three of Us] is also a work of art in itself: a careful weaving in and out of personal memories and present pain to create something remarkable.'
--The Herald

"Gripping . . . What sets Blackburn's memoir apart is her extraordinary ability to sit on the edges of her own drama, to notice the texture, cadence and scent of these lives and to capture th experience with a painterly precision . . . An unnerving book about manipulation and loss, and about the complicated burdens families inflict on one another down through the generations. As a literary memoir of a lost childhood, it is remarkable as much for its candour as its craftsmanship."
--The Sunday Times

"Blackburn details her first sixteen years . . . in such as ingenuous, matter-of-fact manner that she somehow manages to make terrible events seem almost funny . . . The resulting memoir is mesmerizing and brilliant."
--Daily Mail

"This is an astonishing memoir, brave and exquisitely written. The story is riveting, and its ending takes us as well as Blackburn by surprise as her mother's dying becomes the occasion for something that goes beyond reconciliation--a time of grace on both parts. Everything we think we know about families and sex and mother-daughter relations is called into question as Blackburn's unsparing eye is joined by her remarkably open heart."
--Carol Gilligan, author of In a Different Voice and Kyra: A Novel.


From the Hard... --This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Pantheon; First US Printing edition (July 22, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0375424741
  • ISBN-13: 978-0375424748
  • Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.5 x 1.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 10.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon.com Sales Rank: #176,158 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)


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Customer Reviews

12 Reviews
5 star:
 (6)
4 star:
 (2)
3 star:
 (1)
2 star:
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1 star:
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Average Customer Review
3.8 out of 5 stars (12 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

 
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars The Parents From Hell, August 2, 2008
This is the season for memoirs of dysfunctional parents. First Miranda Seymour published "Thrumpton Hall" of her English upbringing with her eccentric father. Then Doris Lessing created "Alfred and Emily" of her parents, complete with an alternative history of them. Now Ms. Blackburn has written of her family in the 1960's in a factual matter of fact style. She introduces her alcoholic, violent father and promiscuous, sexually competitive mother in the opening chapter, while offering hope of healing at the same time so that the reader is not overwhelmed with depression. It is amazing that the author turned out to have avoided her parent's mistakes and have a happy life. She is an excellent writer and story-teller.
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10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A moving memoir, August 5, 2008
By Walter Fane (Shanghai, China) - See all my reviews
It has the peace and clarity that often mark those who have been through suffering and come out the other side. The author's honesty, acceptance and humour while recounting some terrible events inspired respect and reverence in me. Julia Blackburn reminds us that, whatever has happened to us and whatever our mind has made of it, forgiveness and the unconditional love that are our birthright are always there to be reclaimed.

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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Reader Makes Four, September 23, 2008
This book was mentioned in a Harper's review about memoirs in general, and given high marks for its unusual format and content I bought it to study the writing technique and couldn't put it down. The present and past are deftly woven into a thickly textured family drama that drew me in from the very first page. The diary entries are emphatically apropos, and along with the family pictures create a sense of intimacy with the characters and scenario that feels almost like being part of the family. The story was rough, but the telling of it rang true and lent a certain stability to the challenging terrain. I highly recommend this book.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews

2.0 out of 5 stars Snookered!
The jacket notes, book reviews, and customer reviews at Amazon inticed me to read this book. Descriptions of coming to terms with an abusive childhood, acts of forgiveness, etc... Read more
Published 2 months ago by drfiddler1

3.0 out of 5 stars It was a great book, I would compare it to Glass Castle
It was a painful but well written story of a life of survival with disfunction in a girls life
Published 5 months ago by Jean B. Konitzer

5.0 out of 5 stars Family Pathology
An unsettling memoir of a precocious upper middle class adolescent reared in an eccentric, drug-influenced and sexually promiscuous household. Read more
Published 6 months ago by Cary B. Barad

4.0 out of 5 stars Three of us
There are all kinds of dysfunctional families. This is just one more, told well.
Published 6 months ago by Diane C., Goelz

5.0 out of 5 stars For those who come from dysfunction...
After reading substantive reviews of this strange memoir, I simply had to give it a read for myself. Read more
Published 8 months ago by Lit-reader

5.0 out of 5 stars Is this woman my twin?
I loved this book and all it's honesty. I've heard it said that we read to know that we are not alone. I do believe this may be true. Read more
Published 10 months ago by S. D. Daly

4.0 out of 5 stars Dysfunctional Three
This book reminded me of "Running With Scissors" in some ways. The narrator is the daughter of an artisitic ,sex- obbessed mother and an abusive English teacher, poet father in... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Bonita A. Brinamen

1.0 out of 5 stars A waste of time
The Three of Us is a tawdry mess of sex and strange people written to no purpose. I think the author doesn't really understand what went on in her young life to this day. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Barbara Shuck

2.0 out of 5 stars disappointing
After the big buildup, I found it disappointing...the mother farting and laughing in the tub watching the gas bubbles lift to the surface...grossed me out.... Read more
Published 11 months ago by Monica

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