The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to SLEEPING WITH THREE [Paperback]

Vicki Vantoch (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 31, 2007

A step-by-step guide to realizing the American dream, The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to Sleeping with Three is the first book to give tri-curious men and women the inside scoop on threesomes. Having finally slipped into the mainstream — on MTV, Boston Legal, Entourage, magazines, movies, and just about every respectable blog — sexuality historian and threesome dabbler Victoria Vantoch offers practical and humorous advice on our most popular fantasy. Featured in The Threesome Handbook: - The perks of three: hotter sex, more love - Strategies to prevent freak-outs, jealousy, and general messiness - How to find the perfect third - Discovering your inner queer - When a ménage turns into love—how to create a successful triad relationship - Communication skills for couples - Knowing when to break it off - And much, much more. Drawing on personal experience, historical research, advice from pros, and hundreds of interviews with veteran and novice threesome adventurers, Vantoch covers the gamut of possibilities in threesome sex and triad relationships. The Threesome Handbook is the essential road map for couples and singles to explore new territory or just spice things up in the sack.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Vicki Vantoch is a historian and writer. Her work has appeared in The Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, and the Los Angeles Times. She lives on the West Coast, where she is completing her second book.

Product Details

• Paperback: 384 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (August 31, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1568583338
• ISBN-13: 978-1568583334
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #171,022 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

51 of 52 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Advice . . And Great Positions!, June 14, 2008

By 

Jenifer M (Orange County, CA, USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to SLEEPING WITH THREE (Paperback)

Of the numerous `threesome' books which appear to be crowding the market right now, this one is easily my favorite.

It doesn't have a lot of pretty four-color photos. (In fact, it doesn't have any.) But it does contain a lot of good, solid advice on how to make one's threesome musings a reality.

Fantasizing about threesomes is the very first topic, and the tome starts off with a few lurid tales to get one's juices flowing.

The first half of the book basically assumes that the desire is real (and valid) and proceeds to provide helpful tips on how to deal with the emotional side of having a threesome - such as how to communicate one's desires (to one's partner or `third wheel'), how to establish boundaries (ahead of time, hopefully), and how to deal with possible jealousies (all around) - to name but a few of the issues discussed.

It's not until the middle of the text, though - that the author deals with the "queerness" factor - by highlighting how a (two-girl) threesome can be a relatively safe and more comfortable means by which to fulfill our own same sex desires (which I found to be quite helpful, especially since most of the threesomes imagined by couples will be of the girl/girl/boy type, anyway).

It's in this `queerness' section where the author (a woman) also tosses out the initials, "L-I-T" - which stands for "Lesbian (only) in Threesomes" - which I thought was really cute (and reassuring).

There are some male and female anatomical diagrams as a refresher course; and a few pages encouraging women to go slow with each other, especially since our arousal takes more time (which is in definite contrast to situations involving two guys - where getting out of the starting blocks will typically be much quicker).

Lastly, in terms of the basics, there are a few brief reminders about hygiene, cleanliness - and STD's - which are, of course, sexually transmitted diseases.

The book really hits its stride, though - when it gets to (sexual) positions - in a chapter entitled `Joy of (Sex)3' (to the third power).

If you've ever watched porn, many of these geometries (in line drawings only) will be familiar, especially the ones with two guys (where the lone gal always seems to have at least two of her orifices occupied at any given time).

But it's the depictions of the two-girl threesomes - which I found to be really refreshing (and romantic) - with many of them encouraging women to engage affectionately with each other - to a degree I've not seen on screen (but would love to!).

For example, there are several positions which have the women hugging and kissing (each other) - while the man pleasures himself with one (or both) of the gals (normally from above or behind).

Having the females kiss - actually has several advantages. It's an easier way for the girls to begin to fulfill (a portion) of their same-sex desire - without having to be fully responsible for each other's sexual satisfaction. For the clever (and acrobatic) male - it can also be fun and challenging method for enjoying both women (in quick succession) in a manner which keeps them both occupied (and entertained) - while simultaneously reassuring them of their (underlying) heterosexuality.

In one of the `girls-kissing' postures, the ladies do so - while lying on top of the guy - who is on the floor underneath them (and supporting all of their weight). The author hilariously calls this position - the "nut crusher." (Yikes!)

Other variations have the women embracing front-to-back (such as when kneeling one-behind-the-other over the edge of the bed). Kissing each other over-the-shoulder isn't as convenient, granted. But having both ladies facing in the same direction - keeps their splayed legs and knees more orderly - making it easier for the guy to go back-and-forth between them. (Oh, now I get it!)

Advancing to the next level (of female enjoyment and participation), there are several situations - where one woman orally copulates with another. Some are daisy chain variations - where the girl in the middle (either face-up or face-down) orally pleasures the gal in front of her - as her guy enjoys himself (within her) towards her other end.

In a slightly more challenging geometry -- the female in the middle kneels and positions her center over the other gal's face - as her man fornicates with the babe (being orally copulated) from the back. (Ladies, for those of you -- who have difficulty achieving an orgasm while having sex with your guy - this position might be a godsend!)

The most advanced situations (bisexually speaking), for me - are two classics where both women perform cunnilingus on each other. One, of course, is a daisy chain triangle - where each participant concentrates orally on the male or female in front of them. And a second has the two ladies engaging in a sixty-nine - as the guy partakes in the girl on top from behind. (Being either the gal up above - or below - may be a truly heady experience, indeed!)

To conclude, if you're looking for an entertaining and informative way - to heighten your fantasies (or realities) regarding threesomes (of all types) - `The Threesome Handbook' is one that I would highly recommend. Enjoy.

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious and helpful, October 10, 2007

By 

Jennifer Sincero "Jen Sincero" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to SLEEPING WITH THREE (Paperback)

As someone who spends a lot of time reading and writing about sex, it's always such a treat to find a book like this amongst the rubble. Vicki not only gives heaps of enlightening information on the logistics, psychology and emotions surrounding the almighty threesome, but she does so as a great writer. After reading this I'd pretty much read anything she chose to write about. She is quite the talent (and anyone who names sexual positions such things as "Old Time Carriage Ride" and "Quilting Bee" is someone I want to know). A great read, informative and really hot. Threesomes can be tricky and this is the best book I've seen out there on how to successfully navigate the territory.

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars not just about sex, January 18, 2008

By 

very amy "veryamy" (chicago, il) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Threesome Handbook: A Practical Guide to SLEEPING WITH THREE (Paperback)

Anyone interested in having a threesome should read this book. Although you can find a lot of books about "how to" have a threesome, etc - this book has a vast amount of information regarding threesome relationships. It discusses the occasional sex threesomes, too, but exploring alternative relationships and how to have a successful committed long-term threesome is reviewed very well. I used a lot of the suggestions and it helped me process my own situation. Great read! The author's tone is fun and easy to read but very factual.