Customer Reviews

Threesomes: Studies in Sex, Power, & Intimacy

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Well, this book should be considered a companion piece to, "Threesome: How to Fulfill Your Favorite Fantasy" by Lori Gammon and Bill Strong. It does a very good job of describing how some of these situations come about, what it's like sexually and emotionally to be part of a threesome, and what the variety of motives are that may lead you to fulfilling this desire. I'm glad that I had a threesome before reading this book, but I think that it's given me insight into why it still stands out as one of the most amazing, memorable, and joyous experiences of my life. It totally blew my mind.

That said, be warned, going after this experience can test even the strongest relationship. I recommend reading ...for advice on having open and honest communication.

Good luck!

Thomas Aquinas

...

If you consider that since most books on threesomes seem to be biased towards either the sex itself or a sense of achievement on the part of participants, this is a good complimentary study of threesomes for people seeking not so much advice on how to proceed but rather a series of interviews that lay bare the nuts and bolts of successful and failed threesomes. The potential for this book as a launching pad for studies into threesomes in many arenas of humanity speak for itself. Are threesomes the same for upper class, middle class, lower class? What about race? Do people's religious or non-religious views affect threesome outcomes? What paradoxes and boundaries exist between groups of people who participate in threesomes? Are prostitutes who participate in threesomes considered for lengthy study? What varieties of threesomes seem to be most popular? Least popular? Does a threesome generate more selfishness or selflessness? If connecting to one other person in mutuality of sex and love is a challenge, how difficult can it be for three? Does a threesome increase a sense of taking another person's perspective in sex? Beyond sex?
If nothing else consider reading this for insight on human sexuality and human emotional needs in general, not specifically on threesomes.

There's alot of strange half thought out logic out there, and I've had my share in my time, but this timeless study in human sexuality stands beyond it all.. mostly because it is not so much about endorsing a particular frame of mind, approach, or even lifetyle, but frankly chronicles the expereinces and observations of individuals trying to sort out their sexuality in this way. Like Thomas Moore's Dark Eros, and the Oniell's "Open Marriage," Arno attempts to get into the workings of the mind in various scenarious, and make some sense of it. Is there room for misinterpretation, like many took "open" for, or merely to have as a ready excuse for indulgence, of course, but this is clearly not the intent of the writer, if one is to look at it honestly. Sexuality is a sticky subject, and like Moore puts in both Eros and SOul of Sex, there is something else being looked for in these alternates (I apologize if my paraphrase doesn't meet with the author), and if this is the intent, great, but if not, Arno and Moore seem to both point at we should maybe not be looking at things and turning our noses up, or excuses, but rather, why and what is really being looked for in these materializations of the personal struggles with intimacy, dominating and transcendant thought and action, and the sacred feminine. (the last being more of Moore than i see Arno's inquiry here)

If you're looking for a sophomoric and anti-academic book on threesomes, this is a good book for you to read. The author clearly has pre-drawn conclusions and contempt for the people he interviews. If you base your assessment on his book, you'll think that any person who has had (or wishes to have) a threesome is a degenerate or has serious emotional problems, often stemming from childhood. Though threesomes are clearly not for everyone, this book would imply that threesomes are not pursued by anyone who is emotionally healthy. If you must read it, this reader strongly suggests checking it out at the library and not buying it.