Customer Reviews

Thriving through Ministry Conflict: By Understanding Your Red and Blue Zones

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Thriving is an excellent book for anyone, especially in ministry, but it is truly helpful for anyone. Let's face it, conflict is a fact of life and it is found everywhere - in ministry, at the office, in little league, at home, etc. What is so helpful about this book is the understanding that conflict does not equal personal attack. So often we take all conflict personally, what the authors call "The Red Zone" rather than professionally, "The Blue Zone."

The book is enjoyable to read as the material is presented in the form of a story about a pastor's struggle in his own church and family. It isn't a dry list of principles, but an opportunity to discover the core ideas as the main character does.

To satisfy the other side of our brain, the authors include a great section at the end of the book with plenty of exercises to apply the principles to one's own life and conflict style.

I highly recommend this book. I plan on buying multiple copies to give to friends and colleagues.

As a pastor with 20 years experience in the church and a seminary professor in practical theology, I know of no other resource that is so immediately and practically accessible for coaching ministers through the toughest aspects of our calling. It captures succinctly and deftly so many of the issues surrounding pastoral conflict (and beyond conflict to change-leadership, too). I am having my entire pastoral staff read it, my wife who is a therapist with minister clients is reading it and it is being passed along to other colleagues.

I find it helpful to understand why I am responding as I am, particularly in conflict. Then I can adjust my responses. Without knowing why, we repeat unproductive behavior.

Conflict may freeze us. But when we are able to get our emotions beyond the conflict, and realize how we are relating to the person with whom we are in conflict, the conflict can be productive. Thriving through Ministry Conflict gets to the root of what motivates us in the stress of conflict. The authors help us detect that often the problem in conflict is more in us than the person with whom we are in conflict.

This is an encouraging book. It is about thriving. You will gain insights that give you courage to deal with real issues. You will discover whether you tend to live in, what the authors call, the Red Zone or the Blue Zone. One is good. One is bad. Staying in the good zone can make conflict productive. One zone is charged with emotion. One is characterized by professionalism and emotional calm. Responding in the good zone, can free people to focus on results that advance a ministry.

Reading this book is like a private coaching session. Its pages become a mirror for the reader. For pastors who have crossed over from caring for people to pleasing people, this book will be a welcome friend. It will help you look at people differently. As you perceive your responses in new ways, you will feel better about yourself. Your leadership can grow. Thriving through Ministry Conflict can make you a better pastor. I highly recommend it.

Internally, I don't handle conflict or criticism well. This book helped me understand why and the internal changes that I need to make even before I work on the tension that might exist between me and others. With its narrative teaching style, "Thriving through Ministry Conflict" is fun to read and easy to learn from. This a great resource that I have already given to friends.

I believe the one thing the reader should know is that this book offers us an opportunity to fundamentally change the way we process conflict within ourselves which ultimately transforms the way we experience others in relationship and community for which we were created. This single internal transformation strengthens every relationship, whether at work or play. Armed with this new truth and skill, readers will experience a real transformation within themselves and will find that it is viral as it permeates everything and everyone it touches around them. This book practically defines the way in which we execute the Christian life as described in Ephesians 4:25-32. It challenges us to deeply examine the truth inside and out and provides a framework ensuring that we do not sin against one another as we effectively remove all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice. This book illuminates the building blocks to building each other up since we are members of one another.

This book is a must for all pastors and leaders to "face their own stuff" as they lead in ministry. It will challenge and bless you.

I wish I had read this book 30 years ago when I first entered ministry. I am now recommending it to all my friends. I hate conflict and have always tried to avoid it. Now I know that conflict when handled well becomes a constructive force for ministry. Our entire staff has benefited from studying it together. It is one of the few books that I continue to read over and over again as I try to absorb the content. It's value reaches way beyond the church to anyone in leadership. It is full of the truth. NOT easy to swallow but spot on.