Lynne Spears describes herself as a
"...simple Southern woman whose family got caught in a tornado called fame..."
As the mother of Jamie Lynn, Bryan and Britney Spears she says she wrote this book,
"...to hand something permanent down to my children and grandchildren, a record of our lives together..."
I went in with low expectations, that were indeed met, but I did enjoy a few insights that are worth noting. Although I can't recommend it, I can offer the following thoughts after reading:
Moderate our judgements - When you first think of Britney Spears mother what do you think? I confess, before reading this book, my first thoughts were harsh and simplistic. "Surely anybody that would allow their daughter to end up there has to be a "shameless self promoter" who is in it for herself or a "stage mom to the tenth power" or perhaps she is totally absent from her daughter's life."
The reality of who Lynne Spears is, and anybody, for that matter, is more complex than that. As she says,
"Often you don't know a person's story, and if you did, you might very well understand his or her actions better...there [is] a flesh-and-blood woman behind the mythological monster the tabloids [have] created."
Let's not be so quick to judge character or, especially, motives.
The depravity of man is obviously, and demonstrably, true - Lynne offers up many examples of this, although obviously not described in those terms. Consider Sam Lutfi,
"Sam came into my daughter's life at a time when she was at her most vulnerable."
A manipulative "manager" for Britney, Sam exerted such a level of control over Britney at one point that her family had to go to court to remove him from her presence. From mixing prescription drugs with her food and drink (without her knowledge) to attempting to get Britney committed to a psychiatric ward to maintain his control over her, Sam was a perfect example of the depravity of man.
Or consider the Rolling Stone photographer, an "eccentric, artistic guy", who photographed Britney wearing nothing but a bra and hot pants, then seventeen, in her bedroom...alone. This is a child for crying out loud! Is there no decency in this "artistic guy"? More on the obvious question of parental supervision later.
Never trust the tabloid media (or the MSM for that matter) - Arguably an extension of the previous point, the paparazzi, however, deserve their own dishonorable mention. Chapter 24 should be required reading for everyone that even remotely longs for the fame of the world. Pray for those who prey on others. The parasitic nature of this despicable industry is appalling. We've all heard the weak arguments, "There is a price to pay for fame", "I'm just doing my job", and "She is a public figure". As Lynne says however, "...where are the lines?"
Lynne tells of the boisterous airplane passenger who, disingenuously, tried to befriend her to obtain information about her daughter. She tells of striking up conversations while in line at the grocery store, "...only to find out a few days later that I have given an "exclusive" to a tabloid magazine."
According to Lynne, Britney has seventeen full-time paparazzi assigned to her, night and day. Any industry that has to go that far to get "the dirt", can't be trusted. Don't buy the tabloid papers or magazines. Don't participate in their manufactured, and salacious, gossip.
Parents make mistakes - As Michael Hyatt notes, it is tough to be hard on parents because we have all made our share of mistakes. To her credit, Lynne admits her mistakes honestly. Therefore, I am not going to point fingers but we can learn from her.
In describing the Rolling Stone incident, Lynne says,
"For some reason, the photographer wanted to shoot some pictures in Britney's bedroom...When that bedroom door suddenly shut tight, though, alarm bells started ringing..."
With all due respect, the alarm bells should have been ringing long before that.
"I trusted in the professionals surrounding my daughter to make the right decisions...but by deferring to experts, I gave up far too much influence."
We all make mistakes, but don't abdicate your kids to the "professionals", whether they are school teachers, youth ministers, the media or the kid's peers.
Children, ultimately, are responsible for their own decisions - Children, especially teenagers, will make their own decisions. The best parents in the world may lose their children to the world. Only God has sovereign control over the heart and affections of another (Proverbs 21:1). Everyone will die for their own sin (Ezekiel 18:1-4, Jeremiah 31:29-30, Ezekiel 3:17-21).
When Jamie Lynn got pregnant, Lynne says,
"...Jamie Lynn had never done a solitary thing to raise even an eyebrow, and she certainly had left not one miniscule clue as to what they were obviously doing. She had always been responsible..."
Assuming that is true, Jamie Lynn made a bad choice contrary to what she, apparently, had been taught. This doesn't abdicate the parents responsibility to teach our children, but it should make us realize that (I'm paraphrasing Dan Phillips here) we can't place blame on any person for another's sin.
Did I gain from reading this book? Yes, but there was nothing here I couldn't have gained elsewhere in a "meatier" fashion. Upon finishing I felt I had contributed to the tabloid, celebrity, gossip culture that the book implicitly, and explicitly, criticizes. I felt I had invaded another family's privacy. Lynne says she wrote the book for her children as something to pass down. If that is truly the case then why make this book public? How about just writing it down and have it bound and passed out to her family only? I appreciate the insights from her life but in the final analysis it made me feel like a voyeur of the Spears hidden moments.
