19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Highly recommended..., August 1, 2008
Miranda Seymour is the author of a number of highly regarded biographies (Henry James, Mary Shelley) - in this book she turns her attention to the story of her family with a focus on her Father. Her Father's object of affection, is not Seymour (his daughter) but "Thrumpton Hall" - a beautiful country house in Nottinghamshire.
Her Father George Seymour was left in the care of his Aunt at Thrumpton Hall at a very young age - being described by his Mother as being "unfit and weakly" to make the trip to La Paz with the other family members. George Seymour grew up in solitude or in the hands of nanny's - over time, the child fell in love (compulsively) with Thrumpton Hall.
He was not the sportsman's type and acted as a much older member of aristocracy - which made him the subject of ridicule of school mates. Later, as many of his classmates and friends were enlisted in the draft and went off to war, George Seymour, after several attempts to attend boot camp, was dismissed for a condition called "effort syndrome" - the drill sergeant not being impressed with his physique, his attitude and his aversion to team sports - - George was sent home. Despite this profile, once George was locked in on a mission, he was unstoppable - he was charming, relentless, controlling, determined and not easily put off. He eventually was successful in acquiring his love (Thrumpton Hall) but learned that this came at quite a cost.
"My father had hoped for so much from the House. It was his Camelot, his grail, his lost land redeemed, from which all good would flow. But the House couldn't give more than it was. It couldn't confer friendship or success. This was a source of bewilderment, sadness and disappointment...The House was the grail that my Father pursued throughout his life. It came as a shock (to him) that it was an empty cup."
Much of the later part of the story speaks to Miranda Seymour's "pain of being displaced" by her Father with the House, younger boys, his other addictions at the time. P. 238: "I'm clearer on the fact that it was, once more, the pain of displacement that troubled me most. Being ousted, reduced to a lesser place in my father's affections than his friend: this was what hurt, like a bad headache, all the time."
My assessment of the book:
* Hang in there.
The story starts to cook after 100 pages or so. I'm not a avid history reader or fan of British aristocracy (and the related quirkiness) and found the first one hundred pages or so that lay the foundation for her Father's childhood, teen and adult years to be thick, dense and somewhat of a grind. Yet , the story catches hold once Seymour moves in and squarely focuses on her Father's, Mother's and family's life.
* The book is exceptionally well researched but fully engaging.
I was awestruck by how Miranda Seymour is able to pull the history and facts together in a compelling storyline. The book is a mere 270 pages - it can be read in 1 or 2 sittings - yet you have learned so much about the family and the players and the story is so engaging you will feel that you've lived in the household. Amazing effort.
* Seymour has put forth a deeply introspective and moving work with piercing insights into the life of her Father, Mother and herself.
How she's managed to do so (with her research, letters, conversations, etc) and connect the dots is simply a marvel.
* I'm me because of my parents.
Yes, if you believe that many of our adult problems stem from our relationships with our Fathers and Mothers - and the incessant yearning for their love, this is substantive supporting case. Page 186: "The technique by which this in many ways unremarkable man kept two strong-willed women under his control was simple and invisible; he made us feel worthless. Without value, you have no power. No physical force was employed, no threat, except of his displeasure."
* "Mom knows all."
Seymour interjects the opinions of her 80-year Mother - which adds considerable balance, color and nuance to the story. She makes you feel as if you are sitting around the table with Mother and Daughter and they're telling you the family history.
*The book is beautifully written and engaging - pulling you along as you turn the pages. I highly recommend it.
Page 3: "We buried his ashes privately, in the garden of the House to which he gave his heart. The wording on the tablet that marked the spot was borrowed from Christopher Wren's epitaph. Si monumentum requirus, circumspice The pride of it, loosely translated here felt right: If you wish to know me, look around you. Here I am."
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16 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
What is this book about, anyway?, August 22, 2008
I couldn't put this book down - although not the best writing ever, the structure that combines a linear life story with present day discussions between mother and daughter is an interesting device that works well here.
I bought the book based on the NY Times review (in fact, one of the other reviews here reads a lot like that review), expecting insights into life in an English country house in the last century, focused around one person specifically. It starts that way, but by about halfway through, it's much more about George Seymour than his house or even his relationship to his house (in the latter part of his life, the house apparently lessens in importance to him). By the end, I realized it's actually a book about Miranda Seymour, the author, and her as yet unresolved relationship with her father. A few days after finishing the book, I've decided that the book is in fact entirely about Miranda Seymour, and her as yet unresolved issues with herself.
Reviews here and elsewhere have portrayed George Seymour as the villain, an unsympathetic character and a deplorable man. But by the author's own testament, short of a few odd episodes such as the one revolving around wigs, her father tried hard to create a close-knit family and a happy childhood for his two kids - exactly what he did not have growing up, and which in part led to his obsession with the only tangible constant in his life, Thrumpton Hall.
I'm left with questions about the father's relationship with his own father (who barely plays in the story, and even his "beloved" mother eventually dies without fanfare), and in turn his son (a conscious choice by the author in respect of her brother). The father's older siblings are also barely mentioned; and after going to the trouble of printing a full family tree at the start of the book, very few of those relationships are explored. One does get the idea that George Seymour felt lonely and isolated - it's a key theme of the book - but at the same time, his passion for correspondence, social visits and parties is well documented, in stark contrast. Thus, I remain curious about this man's relationships beyond his daughter and wife (the latter being rather distorted through the eyes of the former).
On this point, on a personal level, this is perhaps the most important lesson - that our tendency to become angry with loved ones over their relationships with other people is often misplaced.
In the end, if it's supposed to be a book about Thrumpton Hall, then 2 stars, because I want to know much more. If it's supposed to be about George Seymour, then 4 stars, because I feel I now know him, even if left with several perplexing questions.
If it's about Miranda Seymour, then 5 stars, because I think I know her quite well now - to the point that I've had enough and don't want to know any more at all. But since I think the author set out to tell a different story, I'll put it back down to 3 stars.
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