Customer Reviews

Ties That Bind: The SM/Leather/Fetish Erotic Style: Issues, Commentaries and Advice

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

As a hetero male switch, I didn't find Mr. Baldwin's gay male perspective to be at all limiting. As the book states clearly in the introduction, they could easily have changed a few pronouns and put the book into more universal language, but what would have been the point? Some of the illustrations used gay male examples of SM eroticism (the author must be seriously into boot polish! :) But it was pretty easy for me to mentally replace some of these erotic examples with some of my favorite fetishes as I read the book, to make it apply to me.

I'm not sure this book would be a good choice for giving vanila or kink-curious folk an insight into SM, nor do I think that was its primary intention. You pretty much have to already be tapped in to BDSM energy -- it doesn't really even attempt the almost-impossible task of explaining it to people that just aren't wired for it. But it is a great resource for helping people who are already firmly oriented towards these lifestyles to build healthy relationships, and discern healthy from unhealthy behaviors. That's a tremendously valuable resource -- BDSM folk have a really hard time getting straight, critical, and understanding input on difficult relationship issues.

I had a chance to have a few conversations with Guy Baldwin at LIL IV in 1989. He is indeed a very intelligent and thoughtful individual, and extremely flashy with a pair of leather floggers, I might add. :) This book is extremely valuable... in my opinion, it is a must-read for any BDSM person who is serious about keeping their BDSM and BDSM relationship healthy.

Mr. Baldwin's book is a wonderful collection of very well written and accessible essays covering the interpersonal aspects of the S&M scene. Guy Baldwin is both a psychotherapist and an experienced S&M practitioner. While the essays were originally written for a gay male S&M magazine, it's easy for women and heterosexual men to read past the pronouns and benefit from his insights. It's one of those books you want to share with your (kinky) friends as soon as you've finished reading it.

If you want to know about the history and magic of BDSM, read this book. Read Leatherfolk as well. This is a great way to gain a deeper knowledge of the magic that experienced players know about. If you're just beginning to explore this path, read these books, but don't forget A Different Loving and Screw the Roses, Send me the Thorns.

I am a 54 year old female, heterosexual, submissive. When no one else was listening or writing, Guy Baldwin and other gay leather folk were. These early classics are as good now as then. A part of the magic of Guy Baldwin is that sexuality, yours or his, is irrelevent to the real truths and possibilities of this lifestyle.

If you are trying to understand the BDSM Lifestyle, want to get into it or just are interested in how people can "hurt so good", then this is the book! Mr Baldwin is the "John the Baptist" of the BDSM (Bondage/Discipline, Sado/Masochism) movement and a truly eloquent writer. Even if you have never "played" you will be moved. This book has changed many a life and turned many people (male and female) onto this lifestyle. Forget "the Story of O" and read the REAL THING.

This is simply the best book on Leather/Fetish/BDSM that I have ever read. Guy Baldwin's insights have been life-changing for me, in particular the essay entitled "Fear is the Enemy." This is not a how-to book; it is more of a why-we-do-what-we-do book...and how what we do can change and transform us. Thank you, Guy Baldwin.

I agree with Lederbull on this one. I think the book is very outdated to start with. But the essays are written from the perspective of a psycotherapist and it presents itself that way. He is a leatherman, no question. But he takes himself too seriously and overlooks the basic points of Leathersex/BDSM. Over intellectualized I think, but then again, written by a psycotherapist.
Very disappointed.
Would not recommend this.

I reread my copy of Ties That Bind and it's better than I recalled. It's one of the few books out there that touches on the real emotions involved in this lifestyle rather than just toys and play style. There is also a rare honest openess about the pros and cons in this. Doesn't matter if you're gay, straight or bi this is a good helpfull read. It's too bad there's not a better cover on this book - I'm sure lesser books sell better because of their cover than their content. (The other four books? "Screw the roses, Bring me the thorns", "Sensuous Magic", "The topping book", and "the bottoming book.") HieroV@aol.com

I feel as if I have read the most thought out guide into SM. Full of everyday thoughts and ideas that are shared by all of us. This book consists of information that is applicable to men and women of all ages. In addition, the essays can guide you to a leval of insight and self awareness of a higher level of spirituality. This is a book that I will share with great pride to my teachers and students through their journey of SM.

Mr. Baldwin should stick to writing guides to leather pageants and give up the authoritative attitude and know all approach to his book. My newest boy brought his book to my attention and we had belly laughs at all the rules that are based in an authority that is constricting and overwhelming in the obvious attempt to impress. This paper thin treatise did not impress or inform. Like many other "dominate" men in leather I think I am safe in saying that the printed word is not where one is the best teacher. I am saddened that it didn't offer a more common sense approach and practical guidance.