Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance [Paperback]

David Elkind (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 21, 1998 | ISBN-10: 0674891503 | ISBN-13: 978-0674891500 | Edition: First Edition

What has happened to the American family in the last few decades? And what are these changes doing to our children? David Elkind, renowned child psychologist and author of The Hurried Child, has devoted his career to these urgent questions. This eloquent book puts together all the puzzling facts and conflicting accounts to show us as never before what the American family has become.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Well known for The Hurried Child (Addison-Wesley, 1988), Elkind focuses on the family unit in his latest publication. Supporting his arguments with a well-documented study of the family, Elkind (child study, Tufts Univ.) is critical of both the modern nuclear family for its imbalance toward the child and the postmodern permeable family for its imbalance toward the parents. The "nuclear family" is defined as the family of the 1950s, characterized by romantic love, unilateral authority, and domesticity. The "permeable family" is the current paradigm, characterized by consensual love, shared parenting, mutual authority, and autonomy. Though his critique is not unique, Elkind concludes that hope can be found for the development of the "vital family" to replace both earlier models. The vital family-characterized as one that "energizes and nurtures the abilities and talents of both children and their parents"-would combine the best of both models and would accommodate the changes in society that have been occuring at an increasingly rapid rate. An essential purchase for academic, including community college libraries, this important work also belongs in larger public libraries.
Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

In style and content...this book is addressed to the general reader...[It] seeks to answer the question: What should we do as traditional family structures seem to be crumbling?...[Elkind] thinks the solution lies with a change in parental behavior. He sees contemporary families 'stumbling' toward a new balance between the needs of the children and the needs of the parents, one that integrates the mutual responsibility of the traditional family with the freedoms of the contemporary family...Let's hope that Elkind is right.
--Douglas J. Besharov (Washington Post Book World )

Elkind...is as much a child advocate as an intellectual guru, and his dissection of what's gone wrong for children in America today is written with passion and clarity. (Washington Times )

A thoughtful effort, one of the most thoughtful I have come across, to...make sense of the overpowering changes that have taken place within a generation...A powerful new analysis of how family life in general has changed over the law thirty years, altering not just the experience of childhood but that of adulthood as well...Building on a complete substructure of work in social history, psychology, and social research, Elkind develops a systematic argument for how we got from then to now, from the nuclear family of the modern period to the fragmented family of the postmodern.
--Edward Shorter, Ph.D. (Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health )

This book has many strengths, the first being that it is a well-documented study of family life. The author consistently builds on his past work and cites outstanding scholars as he traces the history of family life...This book is a valuable contribution to the vast body of literature that focuses on families. It provides a clear picture of why family life has changed...[and] aids in clarifying the strengths and weaknesses of idealized family life.
--Sharon J. Price (Phi Kappa Phi Journal )

Elkind's new book sums up the changes we are all witnessing and their cost to children. A very good, worthwhile book written by someone from the `inside.'
--T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., author of Touchpoints

Elkind's book should be read for its contribution to understanding recent changes in the American family, and for its important, yet debatable, application of the concept of postmodernism to the family.
--James T. Mathieu (New Oxford Review )

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Harvard University Press; First Edition edition (July 21, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0674891503
• ISBN-13: 978-0674891500
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 5.7 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 2.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #274,878 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Brief Resume
David Elkind

David Elkind is currently Professor emeritus of Child Development at Tufts University in Medford, Massachusetts. He was formerly Professor of Psychology, Psychiatry and Education at the University of Rochester. Professor Elkind obtained his doctorate at U.C.L.A. and then spent a year as David Rapaport's research assistant at the Austen Riggs Center in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. In 1964 65 he was a National Science Foundation Senior Postdoctoral Fellow at Piaget's Institut d' Epistemologie Genetique in Geneva. His research has been in the areas of perceptual, cognitive and social development where he has attempted to build upon the research and theory of Jean Piaget.

Professor Elkind's bibliography now numbers over five \hundred items and includes research, theoretical articles, book chapters and eighteen books. In addition he has published more popular pieces such as children's stories in Jack and Jill, biographies of famous psychologists in the New York Times Magazine, as well as presentations of his own work in journals such as Good Housekeeping, Parade and Psychology Today. Some of his recent articles include Computers and Young Children, The Authority of the Brain, The Cosmopolitan School, On Becoming a Grandfather, and Thanks for the Memory: Froebel and Montessori. Perhaps Professor Elkind is best known for his popular books, The Hurried Child, All Grown Up and No Place to Go, Miseducation, Ties that Stress and most recently The Power of Play: Learning what comes naturally. In preparation is a new book tentatively entitled, The Stages of Parenthood: Growing up with Our Children.

Professor Elkind is a member of many professional organizations, is on the Editorial Board of numerous scientific journals, is a consultant to state education departments, as well as to government agencies and private foundations. He lectures extensively in the United States, Canada and abroad. He has appeared on The Today Show, The CBS Morning News, Twenty/Twenty, Nightline, Donahue, and the Oprah Winfrey Show. He has been profiled in People and Boston Magazine and was a Contributing Editor to Parents Magazine. Professor Elkind also co-hosted the Lifetime television series, Kids These Days. He is a past President of the National Association for the Education of Young Children. Professor Elkind is currently the chief scientific advisor for JustAskBaby, and internet service for parents.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Fine Analysis and A Lot to Ponder, May 22, 2001

By 

Kristi E. Jalics (Akron, OH United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance (Paperback)

I grew up in the 50s but raised my children in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. My feeling is that Elkind has analyzed the changes in American families very accurately. He has NOT said that everything was wonderful before nor that everything is dreadful now. But I do believe he is correct when he says that the imbalance in the 50s was in favor of the child and the imbalance now is in favor of the parents.

I don't consider myself any sort of fanatic, but I was a stay at home mom myself and our children seem to have turned out very well. I agree with the reviewer who said that it is not always necessary to have two incomes to support a family. It IS however necessary to make intelligent choices about what a family wants and needs. There is a lot that makes life worth living that doesn't have to be paid for with money. Maybe having a mother at home is the greatest luxury a family can choose as far as impact on life style and living. Kids don't need multiple after school classes and sports events to be well developed or happy. That doesn't mean they shouldn't have any. But people can choose and plan and have a wonderful life without two incomes.

This book will give you many different ways of thinking about what a family is, what a family can be, what individual development can mean. If you are serious about making the best choices for your family, Elkind's books deserve special attention.

...

17 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars It's all about your lifestyle!!!!, October 1, 2000

By 

Julia Burnette (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance (Paperback)

Although I have not read this book, I feel compelled to provide a "rebuttal" to Scott's views. He wrote that all parents have to work, which indicates to me that he is buying into the great cultural lie that exists today. It is indicative of the parent-centered world that modern America has created. My partner works outside the home, I am a full-time mother. Contrary to what you may be thinking when I make that statement, we are by no means even "middle-middle" class. In fact, we survive on VERY little money at the moment. We simply have undemanding lifestyles! We don't have brand-new cars, we have a very modest home that meets our needs but is not large or extravagant, I don't get my nails done, we don't eat out often, etc. As parents, you must ask yourself honestly which is more important: do you want to live like most Americans (or Brits, or Canadians, or other industrialized countries' citizens), who are in debt up to their eyeballs and push their kids off on strangers to rear them just so you can drive a cool car or have a home that is too large for your needs; or do you want to live modestly, at least until your child is old enough and responsible enough to care for himself, so that your child turns out well-adjusted and secure? Be honest with yourself. Make your own choice. I won't down you for it, but my choice is to live a calm, uncluttered life that will benefit my son.

0 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars a book that, in its quality, does indeed stress, September 3, 2007

By 

Richard T. Anderson "spinster4life" (De Pere, Wisconsin) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance (Paperback)

A mediocre piece of writing cluttered with generaliztions.

It should have been an essay, then I wouldn't have had to painfully endure over two hundred pages of poor arguments.

As a child of this so called "post modern" period I can faithfully say this book does not apply to me. THANK GOD.