Time for a Better Marriage: Training in Marriage Enrichment (Rebuilding Books) [Paperback]

Jon Carlson (Author), Don Dinkmeyer Sr. (Author)

Book Description

Series: Rebuilding Books: Relationships-Divorce-And Beyond | Publication Date: November 1, 2002

Drs. Jon Carlson and Don Dinkmeyer, Sr. (deceased) first developed this systematic, practical model for building marriage skills in the early 1980s. Now Jon Carlson has brought this classic book up to date, and readers will once again have access to these invaluable tools to help make their marriages rewarding, effective, and satisfying. TIME FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE shows couples how to encourage each other, resolve conflict, communicate effectively, maintain equality in the marriage relationship, and make better choices. Packed with useful examples and exercises -- including communication exercises, marriage meetings, self-evaluation questionnaires, planning charts, review questions, and lists of key points to remember -- TIME FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE is a self-contained skill-building course -- available in book form for every couple that wants a more satisfying and lasting intimate relationship.
Included in the book are dozens of practical, helpful exercises to help build skills in communication and conflict resolution; self-evaluation measures help readers stay on track toward their marriage goals. A special feature: twenty-four wallet-size Daily Focus and Marriage Skills cards are bound into the book, giving partners all-day-long access to the skill-building tools they're using to improve their marriages.
TIME FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE is a book for couples who want to enrich their relationships, for couples planning to be married, and for couples classes in churches, schools, community groups. Professionals who work with couples -- e.g., marriage and family therapists -- will find this a particularly valuable resource as a supplement to couples counseling.

Editorial Reviews

Review

...a masterful distillation of wisdom about marriage, its mysteries...its discontents...leaves no...confusion about how...to make marriage work. -- Frank Pittman, III, M.D., Author, GROW UP! HOW TAKING RESPONSIBILITY CAN MAKE YOU A HAPPY ADULT

...if couples make the commitment, they can make changes that will restore feelings of love and caring. ...I recommend it... -- Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., Founder: Institute for Imago Relationship Therapy Author, GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT: A GUIDE FOR COUPLES

...provides...plenty of things to do and the motivation to do them. A good book that is much needed." -- Pat Love, Ed.D., Author, THE TRUTH ABOUT LOVE & HOT MONOGAMY

...unique questionnaires, charts, exercises, evaluations, and scales provide clear directions for understanding and improving every aspect of marriage. -- Peggy Papp, MSW, Director of Depression Program, Ackerman Family Institute Author, COUPLES ON THE FAULT LINE: NEW DIRECTIONS FOR THERAPISTS

...walks you through the...baffling process of avoiding predictable relationship pitfalls and building real closeness and connection to your spouse. --Michele Weiner-Davis, Author, THE DIVORCE REMEDY AND THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE

...wise workbook...sure to help couples learn the skills, attitudes, and behaviors necessary for a successful...marriage relationship. -- Jack Canfield, Co-Author, CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL

A very good book, very much needed. -- Dr. David Mace, Founder, Association of Couples for Marriage Enrichment

Best material I've seen yet. --Rev. Conrad A. Braaten, Boca Raton, FL

Couples learn useful procedures to enrich their marriage. A well-written book. -- Dr. David Olson, Professor of Family Relations, University of Minnesota

Every page offers a sound plan of action for creating and sustaining a lifelong, intimate, equal partnership. --John Gray, Ph.D., Author, MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS

From the Publisher

REBUILDING BOOKS "For relationships, divorce, and beyond" -- books in this series are for those building relationships, going through divorce, or rebuilding their lives after divorce. Inspired by the work of renowned divorce therapist, Dr. Bruce Fisher, the Rebuilding Books offer expert information and practical self-help procedures for adults and children. These straightforward, life-affirming resources can improve relationships and help make the divorce process easier, healthier, and less painful, leading to more-fulfilled lives and stronger "second-time" relationships.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Impact Publishers, Inc. (November 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1886230463
• ISBN-13: 978-1886230460
• Product Dimensions: 11 x 8.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #189,306 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Jon Carlson, PsyD, EdD, ABPP is Distinguished Professor, Psychology and Counseling at Governors State University and a psychologist at the Wellness Clinic in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. He holds earned doctorates in both counseling and clinical psychology. Jon has served as editor of several periodicals including the Journal of Individual Psychology and The Family Journal. He holds Diplomates in both Family Psychology and Adlerian Psychology. He has authored 150 journal articles and 45 books including Time for a Better Marriage, Adlerian Therapy, The Mummy at the Dining Room Table, Bad Therapy, The Client Who Changed Me, Moved by the Spirit, and Creative Breakthroughs. He has created over 250 professional trade video and DVD's with leading professional therapists and educators. In 2004 the American Counseling Association named him a "Living Legend." Recently he syndicated an advice cartoon On The Edge with cartoonist Joe Martin. The cartoon is available in print as well as animated format (www.mrboffo.com) and appears in 350 markets around the world.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars So Very Helpful!, January 9, 2005

By 

Bonnie Neely - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Time for a Better Marriage: Training in Marriage Enrichment (Rebuilding Books) (Paperback)

This workbook is a MUST for all married couples, and can teach anyone good skills of communication, listening, acceptance, and encouragement, which will benefit any inter-personal relationship. Without expensive counseling, couples in marital conflict will find this the "How To" Book from which they can work and learn how to make their marriage succeed. The authors teach you how to choose to stay with your marriage partner, learn to have open dialogue to resolve conflicts, develop self confidence and esteem yourself and each other, and how to show each other that your relationship is important enough to take the time and effort to rebuild it. You will learn that you are not a victim because you always have a choice. The more you accept yourself, the more you will accept your partner and have real expectations. Buy this WorkBook, even if your pertner will not read it. You will get good ideas and gain good communication skills.
"You can only change yourself. Even without cooperation a relationship can improve when one person begins to change. One partner's growth and change often provides motivation for the other partner to change."

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Time for a Better Marriage, December 10, 2002

By 

Jean Kozlowski (Evanston, IL USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Time for a Better Marriage: Training in Marriage Enrichment (Rebuilding Books) (Paperback)

This is a must-read for all couples in a committed relationship who'd like to build a stronger, more satisfying marriage. Carlson and Dinkmeyer teach very practical, highly motivating techniques for initiating positive changes that will encourage your mate to respond in a more honest and meaningful way. This book isn't about slick or quick ways to get your partner to behave differently toward you. It's about learning to accept responsibility for your own behavior and realizing you have a choice in the direction your relationship takes.

Of course, this means actually making conscious choices about setting and achieving wise marital goals, which the authors acknowledge is tough for most couples. After all, our society is not exactly saturated with great role models for healthy marriages. It's also difficult, when you're angry at your spouse, to pull back and remember that you created the relationship you have now -- and you've got the power to change it. The key, say Carlson and Dinkmeyer, lies in understanding that the skills for a good marriage are learned. So you can start unlearning worthless habits and begin practicing new, more effective, positive ways of relating to each other right now.

As a hands-on tutorial this book is clear, comfortably paced, and interesting. It's packed with exercises designed to demonstrate the importance of learning to take risks and avoid ruts in your marriage; to focus on strengths and successes, back up each other's resources, and develop the courage to be imperfect; and above all to seek creative ways of resolving conflict. Best of all, like physical exercise you can incorporate into your daily routine, TIME FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE makes it easy to put a wealth of practical tips to immediate use every day. Carlson and Dinkmeyer are keenly aware of the value of being able to approach big changes in small strides. They advocate no daunting shifts in attitude or behavior, just countless simple ways of creating a healthier environment for your marriage. Activities like a Daily Dialogue, Encouragement and Marriage Meetings, developing a Marriage Mission Statement, keeping a journal, and evaluating your feelings on various issues help promote self-esteem, understanding, and mutual support.

This is a very "feeling-oriented" book that focuses on the message of emotions as the energy that powers communication. As anyone who's gotten mired in marital miscommunication knows, when you waste that energy in vague or misleading exchanges with your partner, you sabotage intimacy. Bottom line, there's no way to completely divorce-proof a marriage. But before you conclude you've picked the wrong mate, consider rediscovering your present mate by changing the only person you can change -- yourself. As Carlson and Dinkmeyer point out, the distinction between successful and unsuccessful marriages isn't in the challenges encountered. It's the choices couples make in meeting or avoiding those challenges that make all the difference. This book inspires the confidence to choose perceptively for a lasting relationship.

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Good and Helpful Marriage Guidebook, February 20, 2003

By 

Robert Heckel Ph.D. (USC, Columbia, S.C.) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Time for a Better Marriage: Training in Marriage Enrichment (Rebuilding Books) (Paperback)

BOOK REVIEW

Time for a Better Marriage: Training in Marriage Enrichment

Jon Carlson, PsyD. ABPP & Don Dinkmeyer,Sr. PhD. ABPP

Impact Publishers (2003) 15.95

Our field is full of books on how to fix almost anything psychological. Most numerous are those which offer help with relationship and marital difficulties, ranging from the bent, the battered to the broken. They are presented by a series of authors, from the highly qualified and experienced, to those whose degrees suggest questionable origins. Still others rehash (probably without awareness by the authors, unfamiliar with the literature and earlier work in this area dating back over the last 65 years) old ideas as new and creative. Fortunately, the book we explore today was produced by two highly experienced and knowledgeable psychologists with a full awareness of the history and research in the marital field.

The present work is a re-release of an earlier effort by the authors. It is not presented as a revised edition, though a check of the referenced works indicate updating. Since I was unfamiliar with the original work, it was not possible for me to indicate new material.

The topics and contents of the book are solid, easy to read, easy to follow and replete with good examples, exercises, and guidelines that will serve both the educated and average couples as well. The work is moderately priced, well within the reach of those with modest incomes. For those who wish an enriched approach, the authors suggest a series of videotaped materials and additional self help books.

The contents of the first three chapters describe the basis for forming a solid relationship( understanding, encouragement). In chapters 4-7 the focus is on the importance of honesty, openness, appropriate choices and the development of effective communication. These chapters are pretty much the heart of the book, with ample examples, exercises and guidance for developing skill in this area. Chapters 8 and 9 provide guidance in dealing with and resolving conflict. The final chapter provides instruction on maintaining the gains from solving marital dilemmas.

As with many of Impact Publishers works, this volume is especially valuable to therapists who assign motivated clients homework and activities which extend into the other 167 hours of the week, following therapy sessions.