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Time-Out for Parents: A Guide to Compassionate Parenting
 
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Time-Out for Parents: A Guide to Compassionate Parenting [Paperback]

Cheri Huber (Author), June Shiver (Illustrator)
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)

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Book Description

May 1, 2004
Employing a method of discipline used for children, this Zen guide encourages parents to look inwardly and reflect on their motivations in order to respond to their child's needs from a clearer, kinder perspective. It contains meditative exercises for stressed or disgruntled parents and provides accounts of parent/child interactions. In each one, the self-aware parent describes how they would have reacted before learning to take time-out to discover their own motivations. Then each parent tells how he or she responded to the situation from a clearer, kinder viewpoint.

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Time-Out for Parents: A Guide to Compassionate Parenting + There Is Nothing Wrong with You: Going Beyond Self-Hate + What You Practice Is What You Have: A Guide to Having the Life You Want (Mind Body Spirit Thought Pract)
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Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

The theme of Time-Out is: be who you want your children to be. This book suggests that when parent/child conflict arises, instead of sending a child into "time-out," parents can take time-out as a means of getting clear about their own feelings and motivations. From a less stressed-out perspective, parents can more easily model for their children a happy, responsible, fully alive adulthood.

Ms. Huber writes: "Instead of punishing our children by sending them into isolation, let's offer ourselves time-out to discover our own needs, our own true selves. Then we will have everything we need to give our children what they need. Taking care of ourselves is a great kindness. When we are willing to provide ourselves what we need, we are much more willing to provide others what they need. Parenting from self-neglect and deprivation has little chance of succeeding."

The book also contains meditative exercises for stressed or disgruntled parents. Some common parenting problems are discussed, and suggestions made for calmer, kinder responses they often wish they had thought of before they lost their temper and yelled at their kids.

The revised edition is fifty percent longer than the original and includes more in-depth explanations and exercises for parents (e.g. reparenting their own "inner children" by asking themselves what they needed as a child and didn't get and then providing that for themselves). This edition has also been redesigned, while keeping the handwritten look and numerous drawings that have become recognized features of Cheri Huber's books.

About the Author

Cheri Huber is the author of 19 books, including There Is Nothing Wrong with You, When You're Falling, Dive,and Sweet Zen. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center in Mountain View, California, and the Zen Monastery Practice Center in Murphys, California, and teaches in both communities. She travels widely and often, leading workshops and retreats around the United States and abroad, most recently in Costa Rica and Italy. She founded Living Compassion in 2003, a nonprofit group comprised of There Is Nothing Wrong With You Retreats (based on the book); Global Community for Peace: The Assisi Peace Project; The Africa Vulnerable Children Project; and Open Air Talk Radio, her weekly call-in radio show originating from Stanford University. She lives in Murphys, California.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 168 pages
  • Publisher: Keep It Simple Books; Revised edition (May 1, 2004)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0971030936
  • ISBN-13: 978-0971030930
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.6 x 0.4 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #144,141 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Cheri Huber is the author of 19 books, including There Is Nothing Wrong with You, When You're Falling, Dive,and Sweet Zen. She founded the Mountain View Zen Center in Mountain View, California, and the Zen Monastery Practice Center in Murphys, California, and teaches in both communities. She travels widely and often, leading workshops and retreats around the United States and abroad, most recently in Costa Rica and Italy. She founded Living Compassion in 2003, a nonprofit group comprised of There Is Nothing Wrong With You Retreats (based on the book); Global Community for Peace: The Assisi Peace Project; The Africa Vulnerable Children Project; and Open Air Talk Radio, her weekly call-in radio show originating from Stanford University. She lives in Murphys, California.

 

Customer Reviews

5 Reviews
5 star:
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4 star:
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3 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.4 out of 5 stars (5 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars I was a little dissapointed, June 30, 2002
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I have quite a few of Cheri Huber's books and really love them. I was really looking forward to getting this book when I found out I was pregnant, so perhaps my expectations were too high, and I am familiar enough with Huber's basic message for it too feel like, well regurgitation is too strong and negative a word. But I felt like, oh, this again, I've already read this. I wish the book would have had more stories about actual parents, what their frustrations were, and how Huber's 'method' worked for them, what it resulted in, not so much to have solutions to copy, but to help illustrate the principle more. I liked the format of Huber's other books better, wish that this one was a little longer and meatier.

But! I'm not a parent yet, I will have to reread it when its 3 am and I am exhausted and the baby is screaming and I'm feeling really bad, then maybe my review would be drastically different!

UPDATE!!

I now have 2 kids and recently reread this book. Lack of meatiness is good, i don't have time for too many words. I still would like more personal stories. One of the pleasures of parenting is sharing stories. The basic message of the book is good. I never knew how incredibly angry I could get until I had kids.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A must-read for parents, September 5, 1999
By A Customer
This book made so much sense and although I think I have been fairly sane and loving mother to my 3 year old, using what I learnt in this book has just made both our lives so much easier. It works!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars We do need time-outs, January 11, 2008
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Time-Out for Parents: A Guide to Compassionate Parenting (Paperback)
My husband is interested in Zen and he bought this book for us to read. I feel like if I could actually implement its wisdom, I would be a very good parent. In the meantime, I keep it by my bedside and re-read it from time to time to help me remember the important things, especially when I'm losing it with my kids. Huber suggests when we're at the end of our ropes to remember how much we wanted our child before he or she was born, how innocent she was, and how much we love them. So when my son hurled a spatula across the kitchen at dinner tonight, I thought of that. It didn't stop me from wanting to scream with frustration (this was the 23rd time he'd freaked out in about 5 minutes) but it helped.
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