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No Time to Say Goodbye Hardcover – December 1, 1996


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No Time to Say Goodbye + Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families After a Suicide
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Doubleday; 1 edition (December 1, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385480180
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385480185
  • Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.7 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (147 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #607,632 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

In 1989, the author's husband of 21 years, 44-year-old Harry, a New York City physician who was depressed over the recent deaths of his parents, killed himself with a lethal dose of an anesthetic. Stunned by her loss, Fine (Married to Medicine: An Intimate Portrait of Doctors' Wives) searched in vain for books on how to deal with the suicide of a loved one. In her comprehensive and well-written manual for "suicide survivors," such as herself, she offers advice for those recovering from the suicide of a marital partner, relative or close friend. Drawing on research, interviews with survivors and her own experience, Fine provides insights into living beyond this tragedy including dealing with feelings of guilt and anger, the stigma of suicide and financial and legal problems, and she tells where to get help. She stresses that joining a peer support group is an important coping tool. Although some of the descriptions of suicides make for harrowing reading, the book is a valuable contribution to an overlooked subject.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

A great many books have been written on the reasons for suicide from the victim's point of view, but this powerful work deals with the wrenching emotional effects of unexpected purposeful death on grieving survivors. The author's husband, seemingly a thriving physician, took his life in December 1989. Fine's discovery of his body left her with a flood of mixed emotions and anguish that inspired her to record, in vividly honest terms, the legacy of suicide on survivors. Despite the permanent sadness and even humiliation that suicide survivors face, this book offers hope in its summary of predictable patterns of adjustment. Sections move from the suicide, to its aftermath, to survival and how to make sense of the chaos. An excellent appendix includes current information on organizations, resource materials, and support groups for suicide survivors. The bibliography is extensive and useful. Recommended for public libraries and specialized mental health collections.?Catherine T. Charvat, John Marshall Lib., Alexandria, Va.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

More About the Author

Carla Fine is the author of nine books, including No Time to Say Goodbye: Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One; Touched by Suicide: Hope and Healing After Loss; Strong, Smart, and Bold: Empowering Girls for Life; and Married to Medicine: An Intimate Portrait of Doctors' Wives. She lectures frequently throughout the U.S. and internationally about how suicide affects those who have been left behind. Carla lives in New York City and her website is www.carlafine.com

Customer Reviews

I pick the book up to read and cannot put it down.
Chasity Banner
I would recommend and have recommended the book to anyone who is dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide.
Annaliese
Thank you to Carla Fine for your candor and honesty and for this gift to life for the ages.
Dalia R. Martin-Kossatch

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

135 of 138 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 25, 1998
Format: Hardcover
In a frantic attempt to understand the sudden suicide of my brother, I read numerous suicide related titles. Carla Fine's "No Time to Say Goodbye : Surviving the Suicide of a Loved One" was the only book which in anyway connected with my raw feelings as a survivor. It's not a great academic study of suicide. The professional, academic titles are painfully remote, inaccurate and inadequate from a survivor's perspective. "No Time to Say Goodbye:" doesn't answer the only question that matters most to survivors, "Why?". It provides a supporting context for the horrendous assault on a survivor's emotional and intellectual resources following a loved one's suicide. Knowing that others feel the same things doesn't make the pain go away, but reassures that probably you too will survive what feels unbearable. I personally found this book more helpful that the visits to "professional" counselors. Some things in life have to be experienced, not studied, to be understood. Sadly the author has the painful real life credentials to understand and connect with survivors. From her own traumatic loss Carla Fine has provided a great measure of help in what appears to be a helpless situation.
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57 of 58 people found the following review helpful By W. Turner on July 28, 2006
Format: Paperback
I have recently lost my husband to suicide and have read many books on the subject trying to understand what happened. This book was very helpful because it was not a bunch of psycho-babble and statistics and research. It is the real-life experience of a woman who has been through it. I found myself reading entire passages that described the EXACT feelings I am having. I believe this book would be helpful to anyone who has suffered the devastation of suicide.
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69 of 77 people found the following review helpful By Reggie on February 25, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
If you have been very recently traumatized by finding the body of your loved one, don't read this book. It starts out by talking about the details of her exact situation, how she found her husband, etc., and then seems to move on to details of other survivors' situations. I'm already irrationally terrified enough as it is, and reading these stories makes it worse. There is no help...at least not from what I could see - just story after detailed story. I had to put it down because I'm not in a place yet where I can handle this. Maybe somewhere in there is some advice, but I don't have what it takes to wade through all of the gory details to find the one line of help. All this book did for me was raise more questions that I really didn't need to think about, which sparked the trauma all over again.

Seriously. If you are like me and the suicide of your loved one is recent and you were traumatized by what you found, please don't read this. Reading other stories isn't going to help you - you need help in figuring out how to process the enormity of what has happened. Go to the asfp web site; see a therapist; or find a book that offers real solutions. And good luck....you will make it.
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61 of 68 people found the following review helpful By Dalia R. Martin-Kossatch on June 13, 2002
Format: Paperback
Carla leaves no stone unturned. She captures insights from the survivors from whose stories we can even gain a perspective on those that left us behind. She pointedly shows that tragically, oftentimes the signs are there yet for some reason whether it is by some form of unconscious denial or a cushioned buffer we just don't notice those signs enough to react in time to help our loved ones. Or so we may think! The common denominator is that survivors wear themselves down trying to figure it all out before realizing that the solution may never be clear. Acceptance and reconciliation with the self vis-a-vis this life-changing event are the first steps toward mourning and healing. The writing is exceptional. There was not one disappointing page. This was a well-planned, well-researched, well prepared, book. Every survivor will relate to something written there that seems to come out of our mind and flow into the pages of her book. A resource book and must read for every survivor of a suicide. Thank you to Carla Fine for your candor and honesty and for this gift to life for the ages.
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34 of 36 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 18, 2004
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I lost my mom and my brother to suicide; my sister keeps trying. This book has done more than I thought possible to make me understand that the anger and guilt and anguish that I feel at my loss can be overcome. The stories the author shares put a voice to my own experiences as a survivor.
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27 of 28 people found the following review helpful By Christine Lentz on February 3, 2003
Format: Paperback
Although I unfortunately HAD to read this book after my younger brother's suicide in June, 2002, I found it so very helpful, understanding and caring. I also listened to Carla Fine speak during a Suicide Presentation teleconference this past September. It made her book even more special. This book covers so many subjects that we ask ourselves everyday; although there are no "answers" for us; this book lets you know your not "alone" in your pain.
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31 of 33 people found the following review helpful By Laura Edeen on December 29, 2004
Format: Paperback
I am lucky to have this book as the first book that was given to me after my boyfriend killed himself. I was searching for answers and experiencing a strange grief that I had no point of reference for. This book was my reference. It comforted me, identified with me exactly and covers the suvivors expereince so well, that I felt I was not alone. Not a small task! It also gave me hope for the future. Thanks to Carla Fine!
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