Time Won't Let Me: A Novel [Hardcover]

Bill Scheft (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 29, 2005

The five members of the Truants -- Richie, John, Brian, Jerry and Tim -- graduated from toney Chase Academy in New Hampshire 30 years ago. Before they left, they managed to record an album called -Out of Site.- Nearing the age of 50, they learn that a German record collector has paid $10,000 for one copy of their work. At the urging of Dino Paradise, a grossly overweight and overly avid fan, the Truants aim to reunite and cash in. But miles from the horizon of youth, weighed down by bad marriages and mortgaged ambitions, they will have to get out of their own way to get back together. Richie, a divorce lawyer, will have to tear himself away from seducing clients with his karaoke skills. John, a dermatologist, needs to escape all the would-be patients who drop their pants at parties to ask for his advice. Tim must convince his wife to accept his drum set, which he keeps hidden in the attic the way most guys hide porn. Brian will have to step away from the thesis he-s been barely trying to complete for 25 years. And all four will have to track down Jerry, a degenerate gambler/Equal addict who was last seen flying to the Caymans for his bookie with $1 million in cash taped to his body. And that-s not to mention the delusional sister, the anatomically-blessed baker, a couple of vengeful spouses, Les Paul, and former J. Geils lead singer Peter Wolf.

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Author of the Sports Illustrated column "The Show" and a former Late Show with David Letterman writer, Scheft (The Ringer) returns to fiction with a laugh-out-loud story of aging rock stars reclaiming their musical ids. After their whimsical anthems took their classmate at Chase Academy by storm in the late '60s, the Truants, a Kinks-style garage band, made a record, disbanded and faded into musical oblivion, becoming an asterisk on the long list of good-but-not-great garage bands. Fast-forward three decades when a German record collector shells out $10,000 for a rare copy of their album, and, to everyone's surprise, their five minutes of fame seem poised for extension. A potential gig at their 30th high school reunion gives Scheft a welcome opportunity to make fun of their lives: John, a dermatologist repulsed by strangers' requests to "look at this" or that skin ailment; Richie, a sleazy divorce lawyer who beds his clients; gay Latin (the language) enthusiast Brian; uxorious drummer Tim; and Jerry, who's addicted to gambling and the sugar substitute Equal. Add a hapless sibling eager to reunite the gang, an expletive-driven record connoisseur, an anatomically blessed baker, a knitted plot of dark humor and daffy scenarios, and a unique jocular style, and this sophomore novel hits all the right notes. (Dec. 1)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

Like the music of the early '60s garage bands it pays homage to, this novel is often sloppy and off rhythm but still manages to sail through on pure attitude. Five misfits at an elite New England prep school form a rock 'n' roll band called the Truants through which they find a small moment of glory. Thirty years later, the vanity CD they cut nets $10,000 on eBay. Plans are put in motion to reunite for their thirtieth high-school reunion, but the former band members are in various stages of disarray. Two are in long-term marriages that are more suffocating than sustaining, one guitarist is now a sleazy divorce attorney, the keyboard player is a wayward academic, and the bass player has traded in his taste for alcohol for an addiction to Equal and a bad gambling habit. Although the novel never delivers on the promise of its near-perfect setup, which is dissipated by too many characters and subplots, it is a fun read that will resonate with its target Boomer audience. Joanne Wilkinson
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Harper; 1ST edition (November 29, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060797088
• ISBN-13: 978-0060797089
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.8 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,008,067 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Novelist, columnist, television writer. During the last two decades, Bill Scheft has established himself as a versatile, singular and influential comedic voice.

His latest and most ambitious novel, EVERYTHING HURTS (Simon and Schuster), was published in April. In EVERYTHING HURTS, self-proclaimed "self-help fraud" Phil Camp, who accidentally achieved international acclaim writing under the pseudonym Marty Fleck, tries to seek relief from his unexplained chronic pain through the aid of another self-help guru, Dr. Samuel Abrun. Publishers Weekly raves: "Scheft scewers physical and emotional pain with a mercilessly comic touch and a bit of poignancy." And Pulitzer Prize-winning author Richard Russo marvels, "How rare it is for a novel to be both hilarious and profoundly moving."

Scheft's critically acclaimed first novel, THE RINGER, the story of a 35-year-old hired gun softball player whose life changes when he has to take care of his infirm sportswriter uncle, was optioned for film by United Artists, for whom he wrote the screen adaptation. His second novel, TIME WON'T LET ME, chronicled the chaotic resurrection of the prep school garage band The Truants, whose members try to reunite 30 years after learning the album they recorded in 1967 is worth $10,000. TIME WON'T LET ME was a finalist for the 2006 Thurber Prize for American Humor, the nation's highest honor for literary humor.

In addition to his long-form fiction, Scheft was widely known for his weekly humor column, "The Show," which appeared in Sports Illustrated for three years. A collection of his columns, THE BEST OF THE SHOW, was published in 2005.

After twelve years touring as a stand-up comedian, Scheft was hired as a monologue writer for Late Night with David Letterman in 1991. He was with the program for its last two years at NBC, then moved over to CBS in August, 1993 to work on Late Show with David Letterman. He served as head monologue writer for the Late Show until 2004, and during his 18 years with Letterman has been nominated for 15 Emmys. Which, ah, means he's never won.

Scheft has contributed humor essays and short pieces to the New Yorker, New York Times, Esquire, TV Guide, George, Talk, Slate, Modern Humorist, the collections Mirth of a Nation, 101 Damnations, May Contain Nuts, Howl, The Enlightened Bracketologist and a few other places that may or may not exist anymore.

A 1979 graduate of Harvard College, where he majored in Latin because he "thought the church was going to come back," Scheft began his professional career as a sportswriter for the Albany Times-Union before he came to the realization, "Hey, what the hell am I doing in Albany?" He moved to New York City in December, 1980.

He still lives in Manhattan with his wife, comedian Adrianne Tolsch,and the voices in his head.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Scheft provides a hilarious, artistic, memorable story, January 23, 2006

By 

Lover of Great Fiction - See all my reviews

This review is from: Time Won't Let Me: A Novel (Hardcover)

I was a huge fan of Scheft's first novel, The Ringer, but I'm a bigger fan of his latest work, Time Won't Let Me -- a dark comedy of a forgotten '60s prep school rock group (the Truants) reuniting after their vanity album becomes a collectors' item. The author is a hilarious storyteller with passages that make you want to grab the nearest person and read aloud. Nowadays so much gets hyped as "laugh-out-loud funny," but Scheft's books deliver.

Critics and fans have sung the praises of Scheft's comedic skills, but few have acknowledged his singular literary talents. Nobody writes like his guy. Nobody. He has a distinct narrative voice -- at times rich and inventive, clever and intricate; other times terse and snide, blunt and stinging. As a friend told me recently, "You'll be reading one of his sentences, taking it in on one level, and then all of a sudden you discover another level of meaning, another level of nuance." The well crafted prose unites all the elements, and in his latest work, that's an amazing feat with the multiple characters and multiple plots (a bold decision for his second novel).

Populating his story with real characters -- famed musicians Peter Wolf (J. Geils Band), guitar virtuoso Les Paul, legendary rocker Barry Tashian -- and a myriad of rock/pop culture references, Scheft lends authenticity to his tale. Starting with chapter one, Scheft makes the reader feel like you're eavesdropping on history, a talent reminiscent of Tom Wolfe. A dozen pages into the book and you're singing along with the Truant's big hit, "Get Psyched." This is a hard book to put down, because you are always dying to find out what happens next on this wild, Carl Hiaasen-like ride. The author has a true ear for dialogue, and the brash, honest talk from the eccentric cast provides an effective counterpoint to the intricacy of the narration and the "ohmygod!" quirkiness and creativity of the plot.

If HBO is smart, they'll turn this book into a series. And it will be a blast. But you'll lose the writing artistry that makes reading this novel such a memorable experience.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A good read!, January 23, 2006

By 

Armchair Interviews (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Time Won't Let Me: A Novel (Hardcover)

Bill Scheft's sudden assault on the memory and senses in the opening chapter will have anyone who has ever been in a band during their school years equally laughing and cringing.

The story starts in 1967 as the garage band, The Truants, are the toast of Chase Academy, and the five members decide to record a vanity album. Several decades later, they all plan to reunite after being told that their album is now changing hands among collectors for a sum of $20,000 a time.

The 30-year school reunion is fast approaching. With the lure of a nostalgic gig, and perhaps the chance of re-recording their vinyl triumph with the bonus of reaping the financial rewards, as well as giving them all a much-needed ego-boost, they plan to reunite.

As you get further into the book, you also get further in to the band members' lives, and what makes them tick, and to a lesser extent, how they've found themselves where they are.

All this is accompanied by an insightful wit that only first-hand observation can lend a story.

This book is like a Dick Dale track, the notes (or rather words) rebounding inside your mind like a musical machine gun, with the undeniable kinetic energy of a good sixties track.

This is Scheft's second book, but the first I've read. I'll be looking out for his first, and hopefully that'll keep me happy until his third is published.

Armchair Interviews says: This book hits the right note.

1.0 out of 5 stars big disappointment, November 4, 2009

By 

Dave Mortensen "4wdave" (Shaver Lake, CA USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Time Won't Let Me: A Novel (Paperback)

Was looking forward to this based on his reputation and the subject. Had to force myself to finish it -- kind of pointless.