Customer Reviews

By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

I was not expecting this, specially in such a short read. This book is so harsh. And raw. And wrong. And cruel. And depressing. And sick. Oh, and I loved, loved, loved it. Even though my stomach sometimes didn't. I had physical ache while reading, that's how amazing it was. Seriously, I believe every person alive should read it. If you dare to read something so heart-wrenching that will most likely stick with you. It leaves a great message.

The world is a freaking messed up place, no need to hide that. This may be a hard read, but only because it's so real that it hurts. The characters in the book were magnificent. The guy, Santana, I've never been so in love with a realistic-fiction character before. I wanted to tear him out of the book. He will steal your heart and keep it. The writing was good, felt awkward at times, but worked perfectly.

If you think you can take reading about bullying and suicide (Bullycide) you must go pick this up right now. If you read Hate List (Jennifer Brown) and liked it, I think you will find this one really interesting too.

Daelyn has suffered major psychological damage from years of being bullied. The torment and embarrassment she received because of her weight started her downhill slide into despair. She has lost her desire to live and failed at several attempts to end her life. Her latest failure has left her unable to talk and on 24-hour suicide watch. Her parents barely trust her to go to school.

Daelyn is biding her time. She only has 23 days until her Date of Determination. She discovers the Through the Light website by accident, but finds it to be a welcome change of pace compared to the other suicide websites and discussion boards she's visited in the past. Instead of preaching and warning her against her decision, the website provides rational and informational posts and discussions about ending her life.

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD is a powerful and heart-wrenching story of one girl as she makes the hardest decisions of her life. How will she end her life and what will she do with her last 23 days?

Daelyn thinks she has it all figured out until she meets a strange boy while she waits for her parents to pick her up after school. Santana is persistent when it comes to making friends with Daelyn, but with only 23 days to live does she really have time?

This is a short book at only 198 pages. It is easily a one-sitting read and well worth the time. The author, Julie Anne Peters, also includes a lot of factual information at the back of the book. There are 19 Discussion Questions as well as sections about Bullying, Suicide, Warning Signs, and Prevention Hot Line Information.

Your heart will break for Daelyn and the ending is thought-provoking.

Reviewed by: Karin Librarian

By The Time You Read This, I'll Be Dead is a heart-wrenching, edgy and has a truthful outlook on the causes of bullying. Julie Anne Peters has truly captured the voice of all kids and teens who struggle with bullying on a daily basis. I was quickly connected with Daelyn because she was an easy character to understand. Her whole life has been based on cruel bullying from her classmates and even people who were supposed to help her. After several failed attempts of suicide, she seeks help from a website for people who will complete their journey to the "light." Each chapter starts with the remaining time of days she has left to end her existence. I was at the edge of my seat anticipating what Daelyn's next move was going to be. My favorite part of the book is when she encounters Santana, he was a fresh breath of air. He was such an inspirational character yet funny and sarcastic as well. Overall, this book touched me in so many ways, bullying and suicide are serious matters and Julie's book just might inspire others dealing with these issues.

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD tore my insides raw. As I read, I screamed. I cried. I threw the book across the room. I apologized and cradled it delicately in my hands. I also chuckled and fell in love with the characters, flawed as they all are. Julie Anne Peters is nearly unmatched when it comes to writing about difficult, taboo, controversial, and absolutely necessary subjects, and her latest book is a terrifying masterpiece that deserves to find its way into everyone's hands.

Daelyn is not an easily likable protagonist. I hope to God that very few of us out there can actually understand where she is coming from, a dark and frightening world so terrorized, so beaten, so loveless that, for her, suicide is a form of salvation. And yet, as she slowly reveals to us her bullied past, we invariably find ourselves at once within her, shocked into silence at what we experience being her, and at her side, emotionally invested in attempting to give her hope. It's a powerful duality of readers' position that only the most skilled of novelists can achieve.

And indeed, Julie Anne Peters' incredible writing skills are brilliantly showcased in this book. Daelyn's voice is cynical and snarky without being overwhelmingly pity-inducing. Peters' prose is short, to the point, and lyrically sweet. Sometimes succinctness is the greatest form of power.

I can't end this review without pointing out how absolutely lovely Santana is--but I'll let you find that out for yourself. Needless to say, I wish I could place a copy of this book into the hands of everyone between the ages of 12 and 18. Perhaps if everyone were allowed this candid look into Daelyn's hurt, bullying and suicide--bullycide--would be hopefully less of a terrifyingly real problem.

Daelyn feels like a broken person. Her latest failure has left her in a confining neck brace and unable to speak. She's under constant watch by her parents and school, but she is determined that next time she won't fail. Next time she will succeed in killing herself.

Santana is a young man that notices Daelyn as she waits for her ride home after school one day. He decides she needs a friend, and as much as she resists, he continues to try and get her to open up.

The story follows Daelyn as she plans her next attempt. We get to see inside her mind to whatmotivates her and what may hold her back. This may sound grim and depressing, but at the same time it is also very mind opening. We see how things we don't even think about can deeply affect the lives of others. The story was very real and the ending is very unexpected. I can't say how without giving too much away.

5/5

I was immediately enthralled by the cover of BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD. It was a quick read at only 200 pages, yet it also was an uncomfortable read. I couldn't read it in one sitting because I wanted time to really analyze what I was reading. Julie Anne Peters does such a wonderful job diving into the head of teenager who feels hopeless. There were times I could feel Daelyn's pain jumping off of the pages at me. Daelyn is trapped in a life she cannot stand. She has tried numerous times to end her own life, and her resulting failures only add to her anguish that she shouldn't exist. The plot is centered on a message board that Daelyn stumbles across during an internet search. It turns out to be a message board of all individuals who are contemplating ending their own lives. Once she enters the website, she has only 23 days until the Date of Determination. Each chapter counts back as the days tick away.

I read this book trying to incorporate two points of view. I wanted to consider the impact of bullying on the receiver. The similarities to what Daelyn lived through--her own private hell during her primary years--was eerily similar to some of the teasing I can recall as a young student. For this reason alone, the novel feels real. She hears so many negative comments from her peers, mostly directed towards her weight that she begins to believe them to be true. However, I also wanted to read this book from the point of view of a parent/educator. What were the warning signs Daelyn gave for her deep depression? She was so isolated, she never made eye contact with anyone, and her self-esteem had plummeted. How could the influential adults in her life not notice she is once again contemplating her own death? For this reason, also, the novel felt real. Every day suicide occurs among young adults and there are typically warning signs gone unnoticed.

For this novel, I would want to know more about the reader. It gives numerous ways to end one's life, and even goes as far as to tell how painful the deed would be. On one hand, I wouldn't want to put this book into the hands of a student who feels similar to Daelyn, completely hopeless. However, there are several useful resources listed in the back for bullying and suicide that would be helpful knowledge for most young adults.

I do love the way the author tries to portray Daelyn as a stronger person towards the end of the novel. I was certainly left with questions lingering, which educators will love. There is room to be creative. The discussion questions at the end are also really helpful to dive into the novel and examine your own predefined notions. More importantly though it will allow anyone who has noticed bullying, been bullied, or is a bully see how devastating and detrimental that teasing someone can be.

You'll love Santanna and Emily. These characters were well developed by Peters. They become somewhat like guardian angels for Daelyn. But, more importantly, they give Daelyn back her self-worth.

The only negative things I can say about BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD are:
* Each participant of the message board is assigned a Jane Doe user name; it can become confusing at times when the writers are changing'
* This novel also uses quite a bit of profanity, but does not allude to any sexual connotations.
* I didn't like the ending; I wanted to know more.

I have really been wanting to read this one so I was really excited when I had the chance to review it. I was a little disappointed when I was done. Let's start with the positive. The story was gritty and heart breaking. Having grown up over weight I could relate to a lot of what Daelyn went through and it was heart breaking to see how her parents reacted to her attempts to reach out to them before she resorted to suicide attempts. You can also relate to her parents though because I can see a lot of parents wanting to believe things are not that bad and that every child goes through rough times growing up. I liked how bits and pieces of Daelyn's history of being bullied is slowly revealed as she tells her story on a website dedicated to those trying to complete their suicide attempts.

I'm sure many will disagree with me on this but one thing I did not care for much was Santana's character. I actually found his personality to be quite irritating and maybe he was supposed to be so he was as much an outcast as Daelyn but he really grated on me. The other thing I did not like was the ending. When I reached the last page I kept flipping through the reader's guide thinking there had to be more.

Daelyn Rice can't be left alone. Following her most recent suicide attempt, her well-meaning parents have her on suicide watch. They follow her when she goes for walks, pick her up from school, and monitor her online computer use. Daelyn has found a way around them, though, with a website called Through-the-[...], which promises to evade detection by the kind of monitoring programs that her parents use. Through-the-Light also promises something else: to give users contemplating suicide a discussion forum, frank advice, and a countdown clock to their own date of death.

Daelyn is obsessed with suicide but just not sure which method will provide the best combination of minimal pain and maximum effectiveness. Her earlier attempts obviously didn't work --- she's still here, isn't she? --- so she needs a better way. Through-the-Light gives her plenty of material to work with.

As Daelyn counts down the days to her appointed "Date of Determination," she recalls the events that have led to her current state of despair and desperation. Daelyn, who is overweight, has been bullied her whole life, ranging from fat jokes to a sexual attack by a group of boys in a school bathroom. She has been physically and verbally abused at "fat camp," made the object of cruel pranks at school, and ignored or pitied by teachers and school administrators.

Just one thing is getting in the way of Daelyn's single-minded progress toward a successful suicide attempt: a boy named Santana. He's kind of a pain, engaging her in ridiculous conversation when all she wants to do is escape into the pages of the latest romance novel. He's also kind of weird --- he has a pet rat, for Pete's sake --- and extremely persistent. It turns out that Santana has a secret of his own, one that might change Daelyn's perspective on life --- and death.

Julie Anne Peters is not one to back away from painful or controversial topics. With BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD, she confronts the very current issues of bullying and resultant suicide (sometimes called "bullycide") head-on. Her novel is a brutally honest, completely credible depiction of a girl at the end of her rope, who will do just about anything to escape her body, her pain, and her misery once and for all.

Although it comes with a brief afterword that lists resources and provides suggestions for combating bullying, the book itself offers few concrete answers to this epidemic; in fact, it is frankly critical of some peer "mediator" programs and other in-school initiatives. But that ambiguity and complexity --- illustrating a problem without feeding readers an easy answer --- is exactly what might enable it to make a real difference. By creating an artfully crafted, achingly true, painfully thought-provoking work of literature, Peters has given readers something real to consider.

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS, I'LL BE DEAD should be required reading for those who have been bullied (who will know the truth in each of Daelyn's words) and for those who have been bullies (who might see for the first time the true consequences of their actions).

By the Time You Read This I'll Be Dead tells of a girl who is determined to get her death 'right', and who begins an Internet blog about her life and its history of bullying from childhood on. She's alienated at the private school she attends - until a boy insists on breaking down her barriers. A fine story of survival evolves for older teen readers.

At first I wasn't sure if I would like this book. The way that it starts out leaves you wondering what is going on....it takes a few chapters to realize that Daelyn can not talk...and that her parents will not leave her alone for any reason. Slowly the pieces start to fall into place and you realize (at least I did) what she had tried to do to herself that has caused her muteness. As a parent this book is a bit unnerving. I don't know if there really are websites out there for people who want to commit suicide, but I'm betting if you want to find it you can. The underlining cause of Daelyn's reason for trying to commit suicide is bullying. She was overweight from a young age and she experienced humiliation on all levels, from her peers, teachers, and strangers. As I read this book, I couldn't help but reflect on an incident that happened last week at my middle school. I like to walk the halls during passing time, when I noticed a young boy say something to a girl who has some "emotional problems." She then tried to kick him. He looked up, saw me, and instantly yelled, "She tried to kick me!." My response- "I saw you whisper something to her and I don't know what it was but you better zip your mouth!" Then I turned to the girl and told her that I'm sure what he said wasn't nice, but that she couldn't go around solving her problems by kicking others. The next day she came to the library with her English class. She picked out two new books that I had just ordered, Taking Action Against Bullying, and Frequently Asked Questions About Loneliness. I mentioned something to her about the bullying book and that I hoped it helped her to deal with that certain boy. And then she said something that quite literally blew me away and has since then haunted me......"He's not the only one Mrs. Taylor...there are a lot of them out there." And that is why this book and others that highlight bullying and the effects are important to read, no matter how uncomfortable they make us. Highly Recommended