Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People [Paperback]

Jeff VanVonderen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 2008

Provides a path to freedom for those weighed down by shame, showing the way to acceptance in Christ based on the gospel of grace.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Are you always trying hard, but feel like it's never good enough?

Tired of Trying to Measure Up is written for Christians who live under a deeply ingrained code of expectations and rules that shame them and drain them of spiritual strength.
Do you wonder:

* Why do I feel so guilty?
* Why is it so hard to rest, even when I know I need to?
* Why does my religious activity leave me unfulfilled?
* Where's the "abundant life" God promised?

If these questions sound familiar, this book is for you. It won't teach you how to change your behavior or try harder. If trying hard was the key to the victorious Christian life, you'd probably be in the hall of fame by now, don't you think? This is a message to help you unmask the lies that keep you on the works treadmill and to help you discover the liberation of the gospel of grace in Jesus Christ and the rest that comes through the cross.

When there's more emphasis on doing right than knowing God and His grace, this book points the way to freedom.

About the Author

Jeff VanVonderen is an internationally known speaker on addictions and church and family wellness He has worked as a counselor in both residential and outpatient treatment settings, as well as in the religious community, taught at the college level, and is the author of several books, including Good News for the Chemically Dependent and Those Who Love Them. He is one of the featured interventionists on the A&E documentary series Intervention, which has won its second Prism Award. He has also appeared on Oprah, the Today Show, and Larry King Live. He has eight grandchildren and makes his home in Wisconsin. For more information, visit www.jeffvanvonderen.com.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Bethany House Publishers (July 1, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0764205374
• ISBN-13: 978-0764205378
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #191,128 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If this title bears witness with you at all, don't waste another minute, BUY IT, September 22, 2009

By 

Jason "fivefoldgifts" - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People (Paperback)

I am shocked that not more people have taken the time to write a review for this piece of essential literature in the area of Christian counseling. I see that many more have written for the original edition of the book and because of this I struggled with which one to get. So I got both. There is little difference between the editions but the additional material found here is helpful. I recommend this one. It takes nothing away from the original which was nothing short of a masterpiece. The bottom line is I shouldn't need to say anything in this review to convince you to buy this book. You already know it's for you cause you were led to it. That should be evidence enough of it's relevance to you. The truth is I got more help from this one book then I did the 25 before it I had read and I wish I had saved all that money. I can not overstate the value of the information and the help found in this book. It holds the most comprehensive set of answers to the issue of laborious, burdened, heavy-laden and even burnt out service for the walk of the Christian man or woman in the Body of Christ. I am convinced that all problems associated with the Body of Christ are rooted in the dysfunction that is detailed here. And he gives nothing short of the miracle solution, which is THE GRACE OF THE LORD JESUS CHRIST...everything is scripturally grounded and doctrinally sound. I don't think anything more is needed to be said. Begin your road to recovery from the hardship and burdensome service you've be given to and find GRACE again in the Christian life you either never knew or remember to be true from times long past. buy it now. DON'T WAIT. It was that important a resource to me...

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A key to fullfillment., July 7, 2010

By 

D.Farrar - See all my reviews

This review is from: Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People (Paperback)

Do you know Gods will for your life? Do you beleive that you are performing in a way that is pleasing to God? Do you read your bible enough? Are you attending a healthy church? Do you feel like you've tried everything to get closer to God but something is still missing? Do you feel guilty alot?

Jeff VanVonderen adresses all these questions in this book and more. In this book he helps people to identify their feelings of shame. In the second chapter he gives a list of traits about how you relate to yourself.

1. You have a "Shame-Based" identity. You suffer from low self esteem, or a negative self-concept.

2. You are highly performance-conscious. You can't work for God's acceptance.

3. You don't know yourself very well. You've been made to feel ashamed for having needs, feelings, opinions, or struggles.

4. You are frequently unaware of your own feelings. You do everything you can to avoid stressfull situations.

5. You have a tendency to be idolatrous. This means basing your sense of life, value and acceptance on something other than God.

6. You have a high level of anxiety.

7. You are wounded. You've been shamed out of talking about your problems.

8. You are tired. The survival techniques that you have implemented to show others how good you are doing are tiring you out.

I think most people like myself just continue to plod along in a rut. We don't know that there is something better out there. Eventually we burn out playing the church game. The burn out is caused by one of the above categories. In the book he helps you to identify the causes of these shame based mind sets and how you can change to finding the abundance that God intended for you. God's Grace is sufficient and there is nothing we can do to earn it. My life has been enriched by the insights revealed in this book.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Deals with Codependency to pastors churches etc., July 29, 2010

By 

Ed - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Tired of Trying to Measure Up: Getting Free from the Demands, Expectations, and Intimidation of Well-Meaning People (Paperback)

Many well meaning, and sometimes not so well meaning people put heavy burdens on people that God never gave you. This book exposes much of that abuse and explains how to live free of that guilt.