Customer Reviews

Titanic - The Animated Movie

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

I watched this hung over from the events of 6/6/6 and it was positively delightful. I thought the "mucho gusto" song (in which fat, drunken, sombrero clad mexican mice sing in stereotypical mexican accents about having a good time) was a particularly fine example of gaucherie.

But more than historical inaccuracies and unapologetic anachronism this film is distinguished by its inability to sustain a sad or tragic mood for more than 30 seconds at a time without introducing some piece of corny and/or incomprehensible goofiness onto the screen.

Also, the racial charicatures are an especially tasteless addition to a movie that manages to plagiarize James Cameron's Titanic, Cinderella, An American Tale, and Lady and the Tramp. This film defines hodgepodge.

In many ways this film looks like it was the product of a third-grader's imagination and naivete. Events are strung together by the most tenuous and illogical of associations. Sometimes it really seems that this film is not just the result of lazy or talentless scriptwriters - it is the efforts of individuals with a fundamentally immature understanding of the workings of the world. The italian storyboarders probably thought to themselves, "Its for kids so it does not need to be coherent".

I can't wait for the sequel to drop: "September 11th: The legend continues" in which cute animals (trapped in the burning world trade center) help to save the day by assisting the evacuation of two love-torn financial analysts whose sentiments are brought into a crisp focus by the tragic backdrop. Who says tragedies cannot be made palatable for youngsters by the insertion of adorable mice, dogs, and historical inaccuracy?

...or so the super-cool rapping hip-hop dog (or is it "dawg") in this little flick would have you believe.
For sheer "Oh-my-gosh-they-didn't-just-do-that" -ability, I gave this a shaky 2. (I didn't have a 1 1/2 option.) A movie with which to seriously piss off your Titanic-loving friends.

With nary a glance over their shoulders, safe in the knowledge that the Disney lawyers have fallen from grace these days, the animators cheerfully rip off many well-known characters, toss them onto a big boat - it's CGI rendered in some scenes! - and tell them to, uh, go do something.

With 3, count'em, 3 songs, it is impossible to tell which of them is the worst. Let's see, is it the anachronistic dog's rap? No, it must be the horrid "Mexican" party song. Nah, it's the tepid love song warbled over and over by the ship's very busty chanteuse. Well golly! All THREE of them take the big tasteless cake.

A laughably sad attempt at capitalizing on the fame of a blockbuster, it is simply a movie that should never have splatted into existence in the first place. Buy it if you want to shake your head in disgust and laugh out loud with some friends. (That's what I did!) It's Party Time!!!

"Titanic-The Animated Movie" has legendary status on account of its sheer badness. A terrible human tragedy is suddenly turned into a "child-friendly" fairy tale with a star-crossed couple,talking animals,and musical numbers... one of them involving *SPOILER ALERT* a rapping dog. This rip off clearly capitalized on the Titanic craze,but compensated for its lack of Kate Winslet, Leonardo diCaprio, Celine Dion... and James Cameron for that matter. It's a cavalcade of talentlessness. The plot is,for the lack of a better word,incoherent.

When it comes to the two main characters--the heroine is like Cinderella,with a cruel stepmother and ugly stepsisters, the hero is an architect headed to America with his nanny (and he's in his 20s,at least),the heroine is in search of her mother, and the two suddenly fall in love on board the doomed vessel. That's as coherent as the plot gets.

On the other hand--we have fighting animals on board the ship,a pair of thieves,Sherlock Holmes' clone,a precious blue stone,and a transvestite. It doesn't make sense. It's like a really,really bad trip.

"Titanic-The Animated Movie" (also known as "The Legend Continues") is incredibly disrespectful towards the tragedy of the event. It's a desecration,all in the name of family fun. What's next to be exploited? The Holocaust? 9/11? It boggles the mind.

"Titanic-The Animated Movie" pretends to be family fun... it isn't. Avoid it. Do it for the future. Do it for the children.

If you can imagine taking Don Bluth's "An American Tail", "Anastasia", and "The Secret of NIMH"; Disney's "101 Dalmatians", "Cinderella" and "Oliver and Company"; "Titanic" (James Cameron's 1997 movie), "Titanic" (ABC's 1996 TV movie), a couple of blips from "A Night to Remember", a few random Mel Blanc characters, a MIDI score which sounds as though it's being played backwards, some appalling voice actors who haven't a clue what an English accent sounds like, an incoherent rap song, a couple of Celine Dion-esque power ballads, some of the ugliest, glitchiest animation around; and the cut-and-paste feature, sticking it all in a blender to puree, dumping it in a pot and reducing it to a black, tarry mass, and then smearing it in great globs on some film and playing it a few frames per second too slow, you'd have a vague notion of what this movie is.

But you know what? I loved it. I loved it for the same reason I love "Plan 9 From Outer Space": because it sucks so completely, because it's so staggeringly incompetent, that watching it made me split my sides with laughter. If you're a fan of really bad movies, like me, then this is a doozy you really need to try.

Is it in poor taste? Of course it is. It's in horrendously poor taste, and the story of the Titanic affects me at such a deep level that I was prepared to be up in arms with anger.

But here's the thing: it is so completely disconnected from the events of the disaster, there is so little to remind the viewer that this is supposed to be about the Titanic, that it is very easy to distance oneself. There are no historical characters at all, aside from the captain, who has maybe sixty seconds of screen time and is portrayed, if not accurately (hint: he's not), at least respectfully (in that he's not a lumbering [...] like the rest of the characters).

So.

I can't give it five stars because it's crap. I can't give it one star because I had a ball. How about a nice, in-between three stars?

What were they thinking!? There are only a couple things I can say about this film and they are:
1. They attempted to turn one of the most tragic disasters on Earth into a animated musical. That's like making a romantic comedy off 9/11! What the heck! They should have payed some respect to the victims of Titanic
2. How did the film end Happily ever after? The film ends when the main characters are all saved, and live "happily ever after". Did the director just ignore the fact that hundreds of people died? Apparantly so
3. it inaccurate and just plan stupid. I mean what's the point of the rapping dogs and the little animals? Nothing!
4. The plot is basicly a rip-off of Titanic(the James Cameron movie). Even the characters kinda look like the ones in the James Cameron version.

Overall this movie is terrible, disrespectful, and plain stupid

Many movies get bad press, but few movies deserve it more than Titanic the Animated Movie. An Italian animated family flick, it boggles the mind in ways you wouldn't believe. This is the Troll 2 of animation - it's that bad.

This has got to be one of the ugliest animated films there ever were. The animation is utterly atrocious. The animators really needed to get back to their principles, because the movements and acting are jerky and unconvincing. The audio aspect is hardly better; the English dub is beyond hideous. Hardly any of the cast emote at all, and most of the dialogue doesn't match the voices at all. This unfortunately includes the final monologue, which explains the fates of the survivors.

The script is an illogical, plagiarizing mess. The two lovers who are supposed to be the main characters have no difficulty in meeting each other on the ship (this is supposed to be 1912, where class was very much a factor). There is a locket that the animals try to find, there is even a case of a long lost relative. The dialogue is even worse. A dog wants his mate not to strain herself, but instead of actually saying something like that, he goes for "Out of the picture, you're about to present me with some heirs". This not only comes across as archaic but incredibly sexist as well.

More than that, though, this movie doesn't seem to have been either directed or storyboarded at all. Nothing really makes sense. Characters will repeat lines in different contexts (such as the old lady remarking "We're on a ship in the middle of the ocean" in a totally different context from when she first said it, for no reason at all). The same, flawed animations are used over and over again ad nauseam, flipped horizontally whenever possible, and the movie doesn't even try to hide how obvious this laziness is. The songs come completely at random, such as when three Mexican mice sing an almost insultingly stereotypical party song called "Mucho Gusto".

If your mind went to Speedy Gonzales, you are uncannily correct. This movie rips off so many cartoon characters, it's extraordinary. Most of these are the animal characters. There's a Dalmatian couple. Pongo and Perdy from 101 Dalmatians? Yep. Cue rip-offs of Jock from Lady and the Tramp, the mice from An American Tail, the evil stepsisters from Cinderella, even Cruella de Vil. Don't worry, they're all so badly drawn that nobody could possibly make the connection.

And if you were wondering just how bizarre or utterly random the entire film is, the aforementioned Jock dog saves one of the mice from a cat and then, out of nowhere, starts rapping. The dog suddenly starts walking on two legs (at no other point in the movie does he do this), sporting sweat shorts, a white tank-top, sneakers and backwards baseball cap, an old-fashioned radio slung over his shoulder like a ghettoblaster. As our MC makes bizarre gestures at us and the other characters pop up at complete random in random situations, you can't help but wonder how this was ever meant to be a serious movie.

And that's just the original dub, too. Goodness forbid you to come across the US version, the most merciless editing job in history, which took any last grain of logic from this movie. But even that is still worth seeing for the "Party Time" song that they make the dog rap.

SWEET JESUS! What has mankind done to deserve such a wretched film? Did a product of Satan's film-making escape from Hell? Not only is this film insulting to the lives lost during the Titanic disaster, but you will actually get dumber watching this film because your mind will be blown by its stunning, soul-sucking badness. I have watched many animated films in my lifetime because I love them greatly, and I have seen everything from G-rated to X/NC-17-rated animated features of many types of genres. The great animated films I've seen have taken me on all sorts of adventures and I've met countless memorable characters in a variety of situations. Titanic: The Legend Goes On on the other hand tears apart everything I loved about animation by raping it, chopping it to pieces, eating it, spitting the remains at me, pissing on it, and lighting it on fire, and then repeats the process several times over. This is truly the anti-animated film, and I will tell you why it is such.
WHAT IT'S ABOUT: The film is a series of subplots focusing on different characters during their voyage on the Titanic and the inevitable disaster that awaits them. The primary story in this film focuses on a romance between a girl named Angelica who is a servant girl for her evil stepmother and stepsisters, but hopes to one day find her mother who gave her up for adoption, and William who is a rich boy traveling with his nanny (His nanny hopes to find her daughter whom she gave up a long time ago). Another story focuses on the adventures of a mice family who boarded the ship (They are direct rip-offs of the characters in American Tail), as well as other animals such as a rapping dog (No, you're not high. There is indeed a rapping dog in this film), a mariachi band of mice who display several Mexican stereotypes, two dalmations who fall in love, and more. Another story focuses on a trio of thieves, who look like the bad guys from 101 Dalmations who are being pursued by a guy who looks like Sherlock Holmes. There are a few other subplots, but who cares? I know I sure don't care about these characters!
MUSIC: There is one thing I like in this entire film which prevents me from rating it a zero, and that is the song "Holding Me" which I do admit to liking. The score itself is bland and adds nothing to the film. The real kickers of this area are two songs, particularly the rap song "Party Time" sung by the rapping dog, and the other song is a totally crappy mariachi party song. The rapping dog song will make you want to shove sharp objects in your ear to drown out its awfulness.
ACTING: My, what a cast they chose for this film! The most noteworthy things maybe two cast members have on their resumes are for anime flicks. Other cast members only had crappy 70's and 80's horror films on their resumes, some had TV work, some were in porn, and for others, this was their only film. The acting and dialogue is more wretched and grating than you would expect. Picture the sappiest and most annoying romance film you've ever seen, and increase the sappy-ness several times over and then sugarcoat it for a kid's film. The actors were either dreadfully dull or so over-the-top that it was stomach-churning.
ACTION: While this is not the worst romance film I've ever seen (That honor goes to ANOTHER horrible animated Titanic film called The Legend Of The Titanic which is somehow far worse than this), it certainly is among the worst and also among the all-time worst films I've ever seen (We're talking top ten worst). This boring and tormenting to watch simultaneously, an no doubt you will feel incredible pain just getting to the half-way point. I hated every character and prayed for their demise, and so will you. The animation of this film is ugly, choppy, has a slow frame-rate, bad dubbing, and the character movements are awful.
OVERALL: Don't even think about getting it. There are reasons as to why this is the worst-reviewed animated film of all time on IMDB since it only scored a 1.3 out of 10. If this review wasn't enough to convince you, then go look up the review by Nostalgia Critic which will give you video proof of why you shouldn't watch this spawn of Hell.
THE GOOD: The song "Holding Me."
THE BAD: Everything else.

Compared to the other two Titanic movies this crap is gold! Believe it or not there are actually two other Titanic Movies worse and I MEAN WORSE than this. They make even less sense! They become the very definition of a BIG LIPPED ALIGATOR MOMENT! I'm talking (SPOILERS like anyone cares) a rapping shark, a octopus with a seal face actually saving everyone on the ship, some unexplained magic powers that allow the female lead to talk to animals, a jack in the box fish singing techno, the titanic being brought up from the city of Atlantis, a dog shooting RATS WITH A LASER GUN, thuggish sharks and...BRAIN MALFUCTION!! OVERLOAD!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

If you're curious than thier names are The legend of the Titanic and the other most bats*** crazy of the 3 In Search of the Titanic (or Tentacolino) where they actually go to the fricking city of Atlantis to bring up the Titanic. To be fair thier animation is better than Titanic Animated but thier stories and plot are so bad I actually recommended people watch them. Heck watch all 3 movies. Thier so bad you have to see them to believe them. If you're actually cra-er curious enough to watch these 3 filming disasters DON'T buy them! Go on youtube and watch this s*** for free. You'll even find commentaries of people watching the movies for thier first time and thier voices make them so much more bearable to watch. Good Luck!

First thing that comes to mind is this movie is An Insult to Titanic's Victims! I was curious as to what it would be like. I was very unsure about it when i first saw it was Animated, i thought "UH OH!" this sounds very Dodgy. And it was!
Aweful animation and an aweful story. they say "quote" based on the LEGEND of Titanic! Oh my god. How disrespectful, it HAPPENED! it was never a LEGEND.
The movie is a total copy of stories like CINDERELLA. the charector that plays a COPY of Rose plays the cinderella charector in third class. she has a wicked step mother and 2 ugly sisters who live up in 1st class. "YES! i know.. can you beleive this?" a total COPY od Cinderella, but on the TITANIC! my mind BOGGLES!!
It gets worse.... there is a DOG on bought.. theres lots of animals actually. its based on animals. some Mexican Mice (Whatever) and some Ducks and Dalmations (who all ofcourse get onto the lifeboats and live happily ever after while all the humans DIE miserable deaths, the filthy Rats and mice (literally ofcourse) ofcourse get a lifeboat ride.
Anyway the WORST part... which made me SWITCH OFF ... was when this DOG started to RAP!!!!!!! YES!! RAP!!!!! he suddenly turned around and he was wearing loads of BLING, he had a microphone and was rapping like Kevin Federline!!! on board the titanic in 1912!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD... i felt so SICK at this point i couldnt physically BARE TO WATCH minute longer.

-Nostalgia Critic

Well this one was introduce by the Nostalgia Critic, and while I hardy believe that North was reviewed with kindness from Roger Ebert (sorry, I didn't really hate it as much as hate hate hated) (and the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog is still cool), He,s still ___________ hilarious and has really showed me just how bad movies can be. Enter Titanic: The Animated Musical. This sets a new low in bad movies, but Id still say this movie must be seen befor eoyu die. This movie is wretched, it's a wonder why movies like thiese even exist, and why this movie isn't even in the IMDB bottom 100. Considering that there's other garbage that many people don't even know aout (The Tony Blair Witch Project?), well, what the _________ (damn voters). Granted, those who give this higher raitings can justify the rating based on the pleasures of viewing HORRIBLE cinema. But still, I feel that it deserves one starfrom be because it just isn't good natured like Reefer Madness or an Ed Wood movie. So here's what wrong with this movie, bit by bit.

Animation 0/10
I could only imagine the working area of the animation area, which was porobalby done in a basement in the slums of Italy. This movie is ugly, contains numerous technical errors (the same scenes played over and over to indicate sinking, use of stock footage to ), extremely simplistic, and undetailed in the worst sense of the word. This is not simple in the Wire's Pink Flag sense, this is simple in the sense of having no taste buds. It looks like a low budget computer game made for simple children, and nothing is stylish, beautiful or crafted with any effort whatsoever. I'll bet one frame of Akira has more creativity and love than this whole ______ movie.

Among the technical hilarity include the same scenes played over and over to indicate something, use of stock footage near the end to simulate the rescue of William, gloves gone and reappearing, a kiss that doesn't even look natural, and the fact they don't' even show the sinking of the ship. Hey, at least you know you can do better.

This movie makes the recent abominations Tinkerbell adn those barbie movies look like a Pixar movie. pure anarchy.

Characters-0/10
Never mind the fact that these characters are boring, delightfully dull, and have as much third person syndrome as any other crappy romance movie Hollywood churns out every year. These characters are all complete rip-offs of other movies, from Cinderlla, Titanic, , an American Tale, and Sherlock Holme archetypical spies. These characters are done before in movies that were crafted with more expertise and care than the this movie ever dreamed of. The problem? Those movies were third rate, corny, shlocky, and grinded my gears. I hate fairy tales and I hate cinderall with a passion, as it's a great way to kill my soul. Princess and romance movies are soul crushers to begin with, so a third rate, shlockly developed banal cast of characters? These characters are featured in the movie that plays over and over again in hell.

Plot-1/10
To back up the cast of characters that are garbage disposal scraps of the disney kitchen, an equally appaling plot goes with the whole thing. Folks, this is one of the most undeveloped and contrived plot romances I've ever seen, with no development, no thought, and no logic in it's moments. Not only that, it doesn't even have a structure, as this movie chaotically switches back between millions of plotlines, featuring the lame characters described above. Whoever wrote this movie really needs to learn how to write. This movie has ADD for sure. Also, nice treatment of the guy you saved before William, Angelica. What a ________.

On top of that, this movie seems to miss the Titanic disaster. The disaster is not even treated with any sort of treatment. I mean, this movie ignore sthe whole thing, even saying happily ever after during the end. Really, this movie would have worked without the Titanic. They just decided to use a horrible disaster as a backdrop, not realizing how tasteless that really is.

Though, I must admit, the sheer stupidy of anybody who feels throwing buckets of water at the ship to prevent sinking is mind boggling and worth laughing about, so I'm giving you points in vain for that. Hooray for the Darwin awards! One point for the retards!

A rapping dog-0/10
Really is there any reason for this? DARE is cooler than this!

Behold, James's Cameron's Titanic-0/10
This movie is so timid, so horrinle made, so awfully bad, that the 1997 blockbuster (OVERRATED) looks like a masterpiece compared to this. And it is! And I ahte that movie! Yes, Titanic curshes this movie with a iron fist, like a gnat verses a foot. That's what happens when you compare the two movies back to back. Just remember that I hate that movie, so it's an insult to this movie.

Overall, this is a movie, that, if you are an aspiring animator and are discouraged about your career, watch this movie. That way, you will know that you are trying, unlike the people who gave us this movie. And wouldn't you know it? Where did this movie come from anyway? Like the Nostalgia Critic, I would really like to know.

2/50=4 percent

F