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To Love, Honor, and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother Paperback – June 10, 2003

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 215 pages
  • Publisher: Kregel Publications (June 10, 2003)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0825426995
  • ISBN-13: 978-0825426995
  • Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 6.3 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #626,578 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews


To Love, Honor, and Vacuum offers encouragement for the overwhelmed, freedom from perfectionism, and a vision of life dominated by care. ( 2004-06-03)

. . . A must read for any woman who finds herself too busy, too tired and too frustrated to enjoy and cherish the most important blessings in her life mainly her husband, her children and her Lord. (Author's Choice Book Reviews 2004-06-03)

. . . Make[s] a great spring board for discussion groups. . . provides a stimulus to do practical things to make life happier for everyone and also shows that one's feelings of frustration and anger are shared by others in similar situations. (Christian Observer 2004-06-03)

Before you give up and let cat litter take over, read this book and get ready for a whole new approach to home management. (San Diego Family Magazine 2004-06-03)

If you find yourself stressed by housework, this is the book for you. (WRGN 2004-06-03)

This book is about taking control. Itís too easy for a womanís day to be dictated by otherís needs; however, when a woman exerts some control over her activities, sheíll be happier, sheíll receive more respect and sheís even likely to get more help. Gregoireís enthusiasm, real-life examples, and emphasis on healthy relationships will encourage women to embrace their responsibilities. (CBA Marketplace 2004-06-03)

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum is full of helpful, practical ideas that any mom can use to simplify and bring balance to her life, no matter how hectic it has become. (Living Light News 2004-06-03)

From the Back Cover

This is no “women’s lib” book. Nor is it a five-step program for becoming a human doormat.

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum encourages women to deal with their hectic lives by prioritizing relationships and fostering responsibility and respect in all family members. When women apply these real-world, real-life insights, they will discover what it means to love and honor in spite of the vacuuming.

“Sheila is about to challenge your thinking about your role as a wife and mother. I don’t say that lightly. I read more advice about mothering and womanhood in a week than most people read in a year. But Sheila is on to something here.”

—Carla Barnhill
Editor, Christian Parenting Today

“In To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, Sheila speaks to both the heart and habits of the woman who is wife and mother. The lessons in this book are biblical, do-able and affordable! I highly recommend it.”

—Margaret B. Buchanan
Author of Famous Jerks of the Bible

"I was grabbed from the start . . . I think Ms. Gregoire has been peeking in my windows! This is a ‘must read’ for any woman who has wondered why she doesn't derive pure joy from her role as Domestic Goddess!”

—Mia Cronan

“Filled with spiritual wisdom and practical tips.”

—Karen Stiller
Associate Editor of Faith Today magazine

Sheila Wray Gregoire, a born entrepreneur, writes for numerous magazines and speaks to a variety of audiences across North America, combining the realities of a family with Scripture for real-world, real-biblical answers. In addition, she and her husband, Keith, “tag-team” homeschool their kids.

More About the Author

Sheila Wray Gregoire is a Christian speaker, columnist, and author. She's written five books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex. She loves speaking about marriage, parenting, and keeping our eyes on Jesus. She lives in Ontario, Canada, with her husband of 20 years and her two daughters, whom she homeschools.

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Sheila Wray Gregorie has done a great job with her book.
Carey Dyer
Sometimes all I need is someone to tell me that "yes, it IS hard!! But you're doing okay."
Megan Lafollett
Do yourself a favor- BUY THIS BOOK, and then BUY ONE for another man.
Ergun Caner

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful By on January 24, 2004
Format: Paperback
I admit I rarely read books that are targeted at married mothers. I'm not married and I'm not a mother. Go figure. But since I moved in with my parents and two younger brothers a few months ago (got laid off, minimizing expenses while looking for a job, you know the drill), my healthy, if distant, appreciation for home engineers has developed into downright deification. As an adult member of the household, I'm frequently overwhelmed by how much needs to be done on a daily basis.
Perhaps that's why TO LOVE, HONOR, AND VACUUM strikes me as one of the best books I've read in a long time. Written by home schooling mom and entrepreneur Shelia Wray Gregoire, the book is chock full of practical tips for doing everything around the home from cleaning to keeping spending in check to stoking the romantic fires. A lot of her suggestions aren't necessarily rocket science, but she presents them in a fresh way and gives the business of running a family a new spin.
One feature of the book that I found especially insightful is a section profiling one day in the life of three women living at three different points in American history. These short fictional accounts reveal that while women over the years share many of the same concerns about the welfare of their families, the tangible nuts and bolts of running a household have evolved significantly. This will be an epiphany for the many modern women harboring guilt-inducing notions that the housewives of earlier generations were better at running their households despite the absence of the time and effort saving conveniences that clutter homes today. On the contrary, Gregoire convincingly points out that these technological advances have actually added more lines on today's to-do lists.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By VINE VOICE on November 19, 2003
Format: Paperback
Stay-at-home and working moms often feel stressed about house chores, their spouse and their children. If you're a stressed-out mom and are feeling disconnected from your role of wife and mother, it's time to rearrange your priorities and focus on what's most important in your life.
"...To Love, Honor, and Vacuum," by Sheila Wray Gregoire, is just the book to help stressed-out moms learn how to improve their lives. It gives many examples, helpful tips and ideas, includes things to think about, and provides checklists to help manage your stressful life. recommends this book -- although the book contains Christian-based ideas, this book is appropriate for Moms of all faiths. "When you feel more like a maid than a wife and mother," the suggestions in this book can help you change that :).
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Deborah Gyapong on August 23, 2003
Format: Paperback
Sheila Wray Gregoire�s "To Love Honor and Vacuum: When You Feel More Like a Maid Than a Wife and Mother" is an engaging read, packed with practical advice and original insights. Though this book is especially aimed at women trying to juggle children, households and husbands, even those like myself who only have the husband and the household can find useful tips on time management, re-ordering priorities, and spiritual balance.
The chapter �In the Mood� about sex and romance is worth the price of the book. Her gracious advice in this area will help women to understand their husband�s very different responses to sexual intimacy. She explains the need for genuine independence and mystery as a key to keeping romance blooming.

The book applies timeless Christian principles to the thoroughly modern predicament of today�s wives and mothers. Wray Gregoire traces the differences in the lifestyles and levels of support our grandmothers and mothers had to the lives we live now where the nuclear family is often isolated from other family members in anonymous neighborhoods. She tells how those principles can still work, despite these changed circumstances, if they are applied with a proper balance. She acknowledges that sometimes certain aspects of Christian teaching have been misinterpreted to promote the idea that a woman should be like a doormat or a maid in the home instead of a loving wife in a relationship of mutual respect. She effectively shows the difference between servanthood and subservience in a way that�s penetrating and original.
I found this book hard to put down because Wray Gregoire�s style is so accessible and fun to read, but this is a book that would just as useful for a group study. At the end of each chapter are some deeper questions to ponder that would make ideal assignments between meetings. This book could be reread several times because so much wisdom is distilled into it, and its style is fresh enough to make rereading a pleasure.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Carey Dyer on August 23, 2003
Format: Paperback
Sheila Wray Gregorie has done a great job with her book. She doesn't talk down to moms as an expert--she comes alongside as a fellow struggler and gives scripturally-based, insightful commentary about the role a Christian mom and wife should play in the family. I was challenged, motivated, and encouraged by her practical ideas, her warm tone, and the real-life anecdotes she shared. As a working mom, I didn't feel that Sheila "bashed" me, but she gave helpful ideas for cutting back on time away from home and making family dinners, etc., a priority. All in all, it was a delightful read. I can't wait for her next book--it's about sex, and that chapter in "To Love, Honor, and Vacuum" was my favorite! :)
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