The Toaster Broke, So We're Getting Married: A Memoir [Hardcover]

Pamela Holm (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1, 2002

The Toaster Broke So We’re Getting Married is a hilarious and heartwarming look at one woman’s odyssey from divorced single mom with a rebellious streak and a string of soured relationships to blushing bride, shamelessly seduced by the kind of satin-and-lace fantasies that short-circuit logic, practicality, and self-control. While diving into an ocean of tulle and other trappings—determined to remain true to the person she is—Holms offers funny insights into:

Living Together: “It wasn’t just about love anymore, it was about laundry and garbage and wet towels and who put the spoons in the dishwasher upside down.”

The Dress: “Judith clips a long veil to the back of my head and lets it tumble to the floor. I nearly burst into tears. I am the Barbie Dream Bride.”

The Cake: “Something about this woman makes me think she may have learned cake decorating in jail.”

The Jitters: “Right now, ‘Till death do us part’ seems like a very long time.”

With honesty and delicious humor, Holm chronicles her adventure to the altar, sharing her anxieties and fears about true commitment. Her story will resonate with anyone who has ever taken a leap of faith.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This addition to the crowded memoir shelves offers an entertaining but unsurprising look behind the scenes as Holm plans her San Francisco wedding. Her second trip to the altar 16 years after her first "short, sweet blur" of a wedding is complicated by the presence of her 15-year-old daughter and the usual family issues that arise when wedding bells ring, but otherwise, the territory is familiar. Chapters titled "The Dress" ("I've been seduced with frightening ease into the white wedding I didn't think I wanted") and "The Registry" ("I can't help it, it just feels creepy and greedy") cover with wit but little novelty the various hurdles every bride faces. Holm's reflections on a woman's transformation from autonomous individual to blushing bride are dead on, as when she realizes, "it's so much easier to think about whether or not to use rhinestone zippers for the bridesmaids' dresses and whether to serve sea bass or sole than it is to contemplate the leap of faith we are about to take, and the depth of the fall should we miss our mark." The author is at her best depicting the strong, healthy relationship with her kindhearted fianc‚, which will assure readers that Holm has as good a chance as anyone can to make a marriage work, long after the wedding hoopla is over. Her charming style will amuse those who are immersed in the wedding planning process.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

The title is a joke, but Holm's husband did use a smoking toaster to test the waters on the marriage issue by not-so-subtly mentioning that "sometimes people get toasters as wedding gifts." After later making it official, the couple begins planning the wedding; Holm decided that the only way to plan and still have time to write was to write about wedding planning, and the result is this memoir. With a dry wit and some insightful comments on the meaning of marriage (and how little that has to do with "the wedding"), the book chronicles Holm's transformation from hipster/starving artist/single mother to a superconsumer of all things wedding-related. There is humor in Holm's account of being surprised at how much she cares about frilly, tulle-wrapped bubbles, but there is the more somber recognition of how strongly our culture imbues us with such needs from an early age. Recent brides or brides-to-be will probably feel like Holm has been reading their diaries, but the funny, anecdotal story of one woman's preparation for marriage will appeal to more than just the recently engaged or wed. Beth Warrell
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 175 pages
• Publisher: Macadam Cage Pub (August 1, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1931561125
• ISBN-13: 978-1931561129
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,069,088 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars my thoughts on..., October 8, 2002

By 

rachael (san francisco) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Toaster Broke, So We're Getting Married: A Memoir (Hardcover)

The Toaster Broke, So We're Getting Married, was a book recommended to me by my mother. Not normally my most reliable source for books that actually interest me, mostly they are the type of book which tell of deep and meaningful coming of age moments in a confused and misguided teenagers life, one word, boring. But I decided to give it a try because I knew some of the people in the book. The Toaster Broke, So We're Getting Married,was a good book and a fairly quick read. The length is a good indicator for the context, short but not flimsy.
So what's the book about? It's a narration by a single mother of a teenage daughter who is on the verge of getting married for the second time. A seemingly typical structure for a family of characters in a book or story. But the way it is written is what sets this book apart. The story is not told by a third person narrator, who at best as a detached "watchers" of the story can tell the movements of the characters and recount dialogue. It is a prefect mixture of the thoughts inside the head of Pamela Holm and dialogue between her and the many different people who must be talked to and met with in the course of planning a wedding.
The book starts as a listing of all the previous relationships Pamela has had, and as the list grows longer it can be seen why she might have some doubts as to whether she could be suited to be married ever again after a first failed marriage and many failed relationships after that. But the little adventures of deciding on the perfect wedding gown and which cake is ridiculous for $800 dollars, are told with the perspective of a down to earth person who knows it is ridiculous to spend years of time and salaries for the one day.
Over-all a very good book, don't expect War and Peace, but something that could be a nice escape, but not too far from reality.

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars the sheer joy of finding happiness, September 30, 2002

By 

Richard Kurtz (NYC<P>NYC, NY United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Toaster Broke, So We're Getting Married: A Memoir (Hardcover)

How and why we read certain books is a study in itself...I had heard of this book through some rather vague, disparate word of mouth....which always piques my interest...rather than the usual publisher hype...so I ordered it and had the chance to read it on a recent cross-country flight...and was I pleasantly surprised....many of us search for that elusive thing called happiness...and here in this very personal book Pamela Holm, who clearly has lead a very intersting life....including having an addictive mother (for which I envied her -- most of my friends who come from some sort of dysfunctional family are always far more interesting...a relatively unhappy first marriage that produced a child (that I woudl have liked to learn more about --though it appers that mother and daughter really are on the same wavelength)and a series of what appears to be very interesting, but less than totally satisfying, "jobs" --more like work experiences ..but at the end of the day something was missing and then --and this is the part that I can truly relate to --you meet someone who you are just smitten with --blown away by, and then realize that maybe, just maybe, you may not be able to live with that person because they are your total opposite --you are casual and carefree and they worry about how the forks are put in the dishwasher or other such "pivotal" issues but you come together and appear to live happily ever after... since there are those wonderful compromises that make these things worthwhile and work..anyway, I felt after reading this book that I knew Denzil and Pamela.....and finished this lovely little book with a great big smile on my face ....and so will you. Get it...it's very inspiring and delightful

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable Interlude, September 30, 2002

By 

BeachReader (Delaware) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: The Toaster Broke, So We're Getting Married: A Memoir (Hardcover)

Although I have read or tried several books in this genre, this one was different somehow. Maybe because it was short, or the way it was divided into topics, or the author's engaging style...whatever it was, the book was enjoyable and humorous.

Holm surprises even herself with how much she cares about all the frippery associated with modern weddings and writes about it with honesty, poking fun at herself in the process!

The author also had some thoughtful reflections on commitment, family, and marriage that really seemed to hit the mark.

Complicating the wedding planning was the fact that this was a second marriage for both the bride and groom, and the author has a 15-year-old daughter. But all turns out well, even with a few glitches.