Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr: Affirmations for Cynics [Paperback]

Sarah Wells (Author), Ann Thornhill (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 30, 1998

Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my
leaves into my neighbor's yard.
Had it up to here with sugary-sweet affirmation books that ignore the pleasures of resentment and mean-spiritedness? Tired of the self-helpaholics who've been sipping too much chicken soup? Then this book is for you.
Here are 365 splendidly bitter daily meditations that will appeal to the cynic in you. Nowhere else will you find such odes to self-absorption as:
·Today I will equate material possessions with love.
·Today I will taunt others until they cry, then tell them they are too sensitive.
·Today I will make a new friend based solely on how he or she can further my career.
·Today I will respect my need to sabotage everyone else's success.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my
leaves into my neighbor's yard.

From the Inside Flap

Tonight, by moonlight, I will rake my
leaves into my neighbor's yard.
Had it up to here with sugary-sweet affirmation books that ignore the pleasures of resentment and mean-spiritedness? Tired of the self-helpaholics who've been sipping too much chicken soup? Then this book is for you.
Here are 365 splendidly bitter daily meditations that will appeal to the cynic in you. Nowhere else will you find such odes to self-absorption as:
·Today I will equate material possessions with love.
·Today I will taunt others until they cry, then tell them they are too sensitive.
·Today I will make a new friend based solely on how he or she can further my career.
·Today I will respect my need to sabotage everyone else's success.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 192 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (September 30, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0761514236
• ISBN-13: 978-0761514237
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.4 x 6.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #264,566 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #32 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Entertainment > Humor > Self-Help & Psychology
  • #48 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Entertainment > Humor > Parodies
  • #65 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Health, Mind & Body > Self-Help > Self-Esteem

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect for embittered cynics (like me!), November 7, 2000

By 

P. McAllister "p-mcallister" (US) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr: Affirmations for Cynics (Paperback)

The title caught my eye and after reading only a few lines, I knew I'd hit the jackpot. When I read the whole book, I laughed so hard my ribs hurt, and that's pretty amazing considering I'm a pessimist. This book is the ideal gift for intellectual, sarcastic cynics who have a warped sense of humor. I wouldn't recommend it for the cutesy, 'huggy bunny' class of folks...first of all, they wouldn't 'get' the jokes, and secondly they'd be outraged if not horrified. This makes the book all more fun and appealing to those of us who are amused by the darker side of life. I salute the authors for going out on a limb, and the publisher for not letting politically correct doctrine get in the way of having some cynical laughs.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Instant humor to lighten the soul. Reading our true thoughts, November 28, 1998

By 

Karl G. Degenhart ([e-mail]) (Douglassville,PA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr: Affirmations for Cynics (Paperback)

If you ever drifted your thoughts during a conversation and thought, "I wish I could say what I'm really thinking right now," you need to read this book. Rarely can I listen to a comic or read the funny pages in the newspaper and have a good deep laugh. After reading `Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr` I felt I wasn't the only cynical person in the world who would like to say, "Tonight by moonlight I will rake leaves onto my neighbors yard."

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars For the pessimist in all of us, July 15, 2004

By 

BostonJen "jensch" (Norton, MA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Today I Will Nourish My Inner Martyr: Affirmations for Cynics (Paperback)

I have turned my copy into an autograph book; I have my friends and co-workers sign the quote that is most like them. My favorite: "Unlike me, the seasons serve a purpose." If that sort of thing makes you laugh, this book is for you... you cynic you!