"Toddler Adoption" looks at the unique joys and challenges of adopting and parenting a toddler. When a child aged is adopted between the ages of 12 to 36 months, they often show signs of cognitive and emotional immaturity, which can cause behavioral and relational issues. This book offers support and practical tools to help parents prepare for and support the toddler's transition between the familiar environment of their biological parent's home or foster home to a new and unfamiliar one, and considers the issues that arise at different developmental stages. It highlights the challenges that parents are likely to encounter, but also gives positive guidance on how to overcome them. Written by a specialist in children's development who is also an adoptive parent herself, this fully revised and updated edition of the go-to-source on adopting toddlers is essential reading for both parents and professionals working with adoptive families.
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Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
From Library Journal
When a child is adopted as a toddler, his needs and those of his adoptive family are different from the needs seen in infant or school-age adoptions. Yet few resources are available to deal with these special issues. In this work, Hopkins-Best, a child development expert and mother of a child adopted as a toddler, provides a guidebook for those considering toddler adoption or those already struggling with its special challenges. She discusses at length strategies for dealing with issues such as a grieving toddler or attachment disorder. She also explains normal toddler development and possible variances in the adopted toddler. The appendix provides a wonderful list of resources. Perhaps most valuable are the anecdotes of both successes and failures from other toddler adoptive families. An important addition to all adoption collections.?KellyJo Houtz Griffin, Auburn, Wash.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Review
Toddler Adoption is a resource designed to help adopting parents and placing professionals involved in adoptions of children in the unique developmental stage from ages one to three, usually referred to as toddlerhood. Books focusing on parenting an adopted infant, and those written for the special needs adopters of school-aged children contain little of relevance for those adopting a toddler. These children are up on their feet and walking, and have achieved cognitive growth providing a store of remembered life experiences with caregivers and age-peers to whom they have probably become attached, but the language and cognitive skills of toddler-aged children are still too unsophisticated to allow a toddler to make use of the therapies that can help smooth transitions and deal with losses. Toddler Adoption fills this gap admirably. Toddler Adoption is essential reading for anyone considering the adoption of a boy or girl falling within the one to three year age bracket. --Midwest Book Review
--This text refers to an alternate
Paperback
edition.
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Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
90 of 90 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
This book is a practical, upbeat guide for parents who have adopted a child who is old enough to carry with them the weight of past experiences and the loss of former attachments (or the hurt of lack of attachments) yet are not old enough to express their emotions or memories in a way that can help their new parents help them. Hopkins-Best has helped unravel some of the mysteries that come with toddlers with a "past". I found her approach extremely helpful with our Romanian son adopted recently at the age of 34 months. I learned that some of the eating problems were actually rooted in attachment problems and that I had been handling the outbursts at the table in exactly the wrong way. Within days of changing my reaction his behavior improved dramatically. I wish I had read the book before I adopted a toddler, but I'm glad I read it soon after or we may have had a much longer struggle with attachment. I would consider this "required reading" for anybody looking to adopted a child over the age of one year.
86 of 87 people found the following review helpful
By Thomas
Format:Paperback
Being able to watch for attachment and bonding issues really helped all of us become a family. The information on adopting a toddler, the agency gave us was miniscule in comparison to what is avaliable in this book .
We knew we might end up with a Toddler eventho our child was assigned to us when she was 9 months old. She was 23 months old when we got her home! I think the author prepares you for the worst that could happen in toddler adoption. I hope she comes out with a 2nd edition including more happy stories. Our daughter transitioned better than my highest expectations. My expectations were lowered after reading Toddler Adoption. All in all that was a good thing.
I sometimes wonder if being prepared changed our handling of situations, thus allowing us to facillitate her transition and bonding.
Because of the information in this book, We choose to travel to pick up our daughter and, we were better prepared for the "rejection phase".
This book was useful in stopping overbearing well wishers from becoming annoying. I actually handed this book to my neighbor open to the section on bonding, while she was being intrusive the first week our daughter was home.
It was a back up to my words of "no you may not feed her".
It also helped both sets of grandparents prepare for the inital visit with the newest addtion to the family.
Read the book, but don't think "This will happen to me". Rather think these things could happen but I can shorten the amount of time they take.
We knew we might end up with a Toddler eventho our child was assigned to us when she was 9 months old. She was 23 months old when we got her home! I think the author prepares you for the worst that could happen in toddler adoption. I hope she comes out with a 2nd edition including more happy stories. Our daughter transitioned better than my highest expectations. My expectations were lowered after reading Toddler Adoption. All in all that was a good thing.
I sometimes wonder if being prepared changed our handling of situations, thus allowing us to facillitate her transition and bonding.
Because of the information in this book, We choose to travel to pick up our daughter and, we were better prepared for the "rejection phase".
This book was useful in stopping overbearing well wishers from becoming annoying. I actually handed this book to my neighbor open to the section on bonding, while she was being intrusive the first week our daughter was home.
It was a back up to my words of "no you may not feed her".
It also helped both sets of grandparents prepare for the inital visit with the newest addtion to the family.
Read the book, but don't think "This will happen to me". Rather think these things could happen but I can shorten the amount of time they take.
22 of 24 people found the following review helpful
By "snoogycat"
Format:Hardcover
Hopkins-Best has penned a must-read book for anyone considering adopting a child older than an infant. My interest lies in adopting children who are school aged, but I still found many relevant bits of advice in this book. Discussing the feelings of everyone involved one gets the feeling that Hopkins-Best has truly "done her homework" and indeed, being the mother of a little boy adopted from Brazil as a toddler, she has.
25 of 28 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Hardcover
The book is a very compassionate look at both toddlers in need of stable, permanent homes and the parents who adopt these wonderful kids. It tackles all aspects of both the problems these families face, as well as the joys, in a down-to-earth, easy to understand way. I read the book in 3 days, and loved it enough to read it again. I know that as my son grows and flourishes, I will owe part of his success, as well as a part of mine as a parent, to this book.
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I read this book after having returned from Kazakhstan with our 11 month old son. While I agree with a couple of the other reviewers that it could be a bit depressing at times, I also found it to be a very valuable tool in helping me assess some of my son's behaviors and recognize what might be adoption related versus typical toddler behavior. There were many valuable suggestions for those with toddlers who are dealing with emotional trauma. This book is not for the faint of heart, but those who have the courage to read it pre-adoption and use it to help evaluate their prospective child might find it is the best resource they have access to.
43 of 51 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Well, if you were thinking of adopting a toddler, this book should certainly cure you of that idea. If you already have your paperwork in, do yourself a favor and read this book AFTER the child comes home. I was looking for a book that would have practical solutions to everyday problems..for example: What are the best ways to ease the child into daycare? What have some other parents done to solve behavioral problems such as biting? How do we help build relationships amongst siblings? This book lists an awful lot of problems, but is very scant on both solutions and anecdotes.One would get the idea that most adopted toddlers are an absolute mess (in fact, it suggests that it they're NOT a mess, then there's something definitely wrong with them). When you announce your intent to adopt, you're going to get enough nay-saying from your "friends", family, co-workers (and complete strangers)! You don't need this book to add to that!
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
A number of people in the adoption forum that I participate in found this book to be depressing but worth the read. I would agree. This isn't the sort of topic that you want to treat lightly or have an unrealistic approach about. However, at one point in the adoption process my husband hid the book from me because it was upsetting me so much. I would encourage reading this book but only as a *part* of your research since it does seem to emphasize the worst case scenarios.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars
Single adoptive mother - was almost dissuaded by this book.
I still remember getting this book more than a decade ago, bringing it to savor while visiting my aunt, thinking from the title it would be lovely ..."the weaver's craft. Read more
Published 3 months ago by nancy greene
5.0 out of 5 stars
great book
I love this book. We just adopted 2 toddlers and I wish I had read this book prior. It has a lot of helpful info and it is written in a very accessible and compassionate tone.
Published 4 months ago by papi31
4.0 out of 5 stars
Tone is on the negative
But the information is pretty valuable. Like most books you have to glean the nuggets and chuck the unimportant unhelpful stuff. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Cozette Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars
NOT fear mongering! A very helpful guide
We bought this book about two weeks after having our then 22 month old son placed in our home for adoption. Read more
Published 8 months ago by V. Burnett
2.0 out of 5 stars
Discouraging but some helpful information...some not
While there is some helpful information in this book, it is full of horror stories. It is especially discouraging to single parents, who only warrant a page of discussion. Read more
Published 13 months ago by Audra L. Whitton
5.0 out of 5 stars
must-read for parents adopting toddlers
We have been pursuing adoption for nearly three years, first domestically of a newborn, then early elementry school-aged via foster care. Read more
Published on January 29, 2011 by Karolina Dembinska Lemus
5.0 out of 5 stars
Well-Rounded
"Please learn as much as you can about me before you decide to be my mom or dad, so you won't be surprised about me. Read more
Published on January 12, 2011 by GladneyCenter
1.0 out of 5 stars
Dated and somewhat frightening
I just received this book along with 3 others I ordered on toddler adoption. We are currently adopting from Ethiopia. Read more
Published on March 6, 2010 by M. Weinstein
3.0 out of 5 stars
Reality Check or Fear Mongering?
I consider myself a very down to earth person and the type of person who would likely over-think or over-prepare for something rather than be illequiped. Read more
Published on August 3, 2009 by Hobo Lady
5.0 out of 5 stars
Reality folks!
This book as all books should be read and used as you feel it fits into your family. I loved it all and couldn't put it down. The author is realistic. Read more
Published on May 12, 2008 by J. Reid
