Customer Reviews

Tomcat Angels

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Oh...my...God. What the hell did I just sit through? I think I've just watched what has to be one of the worst movies ever made.

"Tomcat Angels" is centered around four female navy pilots who have just gotten in the service. Two of them are sent over to the Persian Gulf to fight an unnamed Arab country, while two remain behind awaiting their next assignment. The nickname for the little group of friends are the...well you should know by the film title.

What I just said happens about 30 minutes in. The first thirty minutes involves the girls getting their wings, then having sex with various men. As you probably guessed from the box cover, this is a sexploitation film, but not a very good one at that. All the sex scenes are the same, following this formula:

1) Really bad romantic dialogue in the vein of George Lucas' script for Episode III precedes the action.
2) The two people kiss. Someone hits the "demo" button on a keyboard and the background music plays.
3) Man rolls on top of the girl. They kiss.
4) Girl rolls on top of the man. They kiss.

And that's it.

Granted, not ALL of the first thirty minutes are sex scenes. Most of it (and the hour directly following) is made up of the most terrible dialogue and acting I've ever heard. This includes terrible racial slurs against Arabs, including the words "ragheads" and "camelhumpers." And these are said quite casually by our HEROES!! Imagine a movie where soldiers fight an African dictator and use the words "darkies" to describe their enemies.

Also, what the heck is up with the DVD quality? I sincerely think someone hooked a computer to a VCR and transferred the tape over to DVD. The video quality is terrible, it looks foggy like an old VHS tape, and to top it off at the very beginning you see a weird blip fly across the screen, like a dirty VHS tape skipping. This combined with already bad audio (the music blares over the dialogue - not that I'd want to hear the dialogue) and tons of stock footage of jets flying around combines for a not-good-cinema experience.

Yeah, look, just don't watch it. Please. Seriously. I never want to see this movie again. Given the choice between seeing this movie and having my intestines ripped from my stomach, I'd choose the much slower death.