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Too Fat to Fish [Kindle Edition]

Anthony Bozza , Artie Lange , Howard Stern
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (348 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $16.00
Kindle Price: $9.61
You Save: $6.39 (40%)
Sold by: Random House LLC


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Book Description

Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern.

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, TOO FAT TO FISH is Artie Lange giving everything he’s got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This debut memoir from the comedian best known as Howard Stern's radio show sidekick is scrappy, funny, tumultuous and profane, just like its author. Lange, a self-proclaimed fat guy with a heroin problem, is difficult to love, but easy to like, his shaggy-dog life story full of derogatory self-awareness and cheerful vulgarity (often in the form of casual profanity and sexism). Many episodes from this life story will be familiar to Stern listeners, including the infamous "Pig Story," wherein Lange snorts cocaine while in full pig costume on the set of television's MADtv. Less familiar to fans will be a sobering account of Lange's suicide attempt and fond childhood memories of his beloved father. Lange's outrageous and horrific behavior involves prostitution, jail time and several trips to rehab; perhaps the saddest recurring theme is the frequency with which Lange thanks someone who's helped him, only to reveal that that person is no longer a part of his life. Glossing over Lange's penchant for alienating people is just one oversight that keeps this warts-and-all memoir from feeling fully honest. Still, for those with a taste for his aggressive, self-loathing brand of humor will find this volume full of compulsively readable stories. Photos.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.


“Compulsively readable . . . this debut memoir from the comedian best known as Howard Stern’s radio show sidekick is scrappy, funny, tumultuous and profane.”—Publishers Weekly

From the Trade Paperback edition.

Product Details

  • File Size: 1710 KB
  • Print Length: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Spiegel & Grau (November 11, 2008)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B001FA0IWY
  • Text-to-Speech: Not enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #48,177 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
37 of 43 people found the following review helpful
I picked up TOO FAT TO FISH, the autobiography of comedian and HOWARD STERN SHOW cast member Artie Lange, expecting to flip-read it. But, starting with a funny introduction from Stern that Lange matches or exceeds laugh-per-page for the rest of the book, TOO FAT TO FISH did not leave my hands until I read every word.

Despite Stern's introduction, Artie Lange does not say much about his work on the radio show in TOO FAT TO FISH until the last couple of chapters. But Lange and coauthor Anthony Bozza hold your attention throughout the pre-Stern years with tales of the comedian's charmed life. I say "charmed life" because, despite Lange's tendencies toward alcohol/drug abuse, gambling, overeating, and angry outbursts, a world of family and friends - even show-business friends - watch his back. There are a number of touching moments, especially regarding his parents. Prepare to choke up as Artie Lange realizes the only difference between homeless drug addicts and him is the support of those who loved this 296-lb. prodigal son. Nonetheless, even reflections such as that lead to some of the funniest comments in TOO FAT TO FISH thanks to Lange's ability to laugh at himself, wisecracking his way through the details of his darkest moments.

Howard Stern hired Artie Lange on his radio show in 2001 after joke whiz Jackie Martling left. But the void Lange filled best was that of Sam Kinison, a regular HOWARD STERN SHOW guest whose combination of comic talent, substance abuse problems and volatile personality made for hours of compelling radio until his untimely 1992 death.

While there are not as many HOWARD STERN SHOW-related anecdotes as you may expect, TOO FAT TO FISH has a number of celebrity stories. For example, Artie Lange's work with the likes of Tom Cruise and Chevy Chase result in two of his most memorable tales about the ups and downs of the entertainment industry.

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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great and Inspiring February 9, 2009
By J. Ruiz
Artie Lange is a great comedian, and although I'm not an avid listener of the Howard Stern show, I can see why Howard considers him to be a great comedic mind. Every story in this book isn't just funny, it allows you to delve into the mind of Artie, and kind of allows the reader to understand why he is who he is.

I would and have recommended this book to everyone I know. This book doesn't just make you laugh out loud (which for me is very hard to do), it makes you empathize for him, and wish nothing but great health, and well wishes throughout his life. I hope you all enjoy.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Love Artie! December 26, 2008
I have always loved Artie, but after reading his book I love him even more. His stories about his dad are so sweet and heartbreaking. The stories about his drug use break your heart as you realize how he has not yet escaped that demon. His love for his mom and sister and the pride he takes in financially providing for his mother make you realize what a sweetheart he is. It also seemed that he was trying to repair damaged relationship and professed his love for former friends and managers with whom he has lost touch. Finally, the reader also gets a better glimpse into his heroin breakdown while filming his movie. Wish he could repair his relationship with Dana. She seemed to really love him.

Great Read!
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book November 28, 2008
If you are an Artie Lange fan you will love this book. Sure some of the stories have been told on the Howard Stern Show but not with all these details. I really enjoyed this book and can't wait for book #2.
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5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Gotta love Artie Lange December 26, 2008
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
It's not as funny as it is a disturbing look into the life of an aspiring drug addicted comedian. A very compelling read.
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars interestingly sad book February 10, 2009
Format:Hardcover|Verified Purchase
this book is interesting and sad at the same time. I am a regular listener to Howard and this book gives you more insight to why Artie acts the way he does. He doesn't seem like he will be happy until he completely destroys his life...
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Too Fat to Fish A++++++++++++++++++++++++++ December 12, 2008
Funniest book ever, Artie your the man. You make Howard's show what it is!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars must have December 6, 2008
Format:Audio CD
I got the audio vertion and listened on my drive to and from work, I must have looked silly sitting in traffic just laughing to myself!!
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Good book. If an Artie fan a must read
Good book. If an Artie fan a must read. Really let's you into a lot of his life and experiences. I am currently on the second book. I highly recommend reading this one first.
Published 1 day ago by Cyndeliz
2.0 out of 5 stars No thanks
Always loved Artie on the Howard Sterm show. Disappointed at this book though. Apparently Artie had some issue in finishing the reading of the book & had to have some of his... Read more
Published 13 days ago by ToBeSkatin
4.0 out of 5 stars A very good book of first hand stories about the struggles of ...
A very good book of first hand stories about the struggles of an addict. Upon finishing it I immediately bought his second book, crash and Burn, which was also very good.
Published 19 days ago by Meanbean
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Crazy story that you can't put down.
Published 1 month ago by chris
1.0 out of 5 stars suck
Same thing went to open it gone
Published 1 month ago by johnny reaves
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Published 2 months ago by KEITH R. TUCKER
3.0 out of 5 stars Just ok
this book isn't horrible or anything. I enjoyed it for the most part. I just got bored with it. done
Published 2 months ago by albert
1.0 out of 5 stars Never heard of him
Read the parts about the people what were actually famous. Book had been lying around my daughters house and she didn't know where it came from. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Lily
4.0 out of 5 stars Surprised
I was surprised I actually liked this book a lot. If you listen to the Stern show when Artie was on, you have heard most of the stories. But still a very entertaining read.
Published 3 months ago by Glen
5.0 out of 5 stars Comedic Genius
Artie Lange was the reason I started listening to Howard Stern. Artie is one of the most stereotypical comedians, hilarious but with dark secrets and terrible addiction. Read more
Published 3 months ago by sarahjim
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More About the Author

One of the most sought after live comedians and talk show guests, Artie Lange was a member of The Howard Stern Show for almost a decade and has followed this with his current gig on The Artie Lange Show.
A native of New Jersey, Lange began his career in the comedy clubs of New York City. Lange's breakout work with the popular sketch comedy group Live On Tape led to his being cast as one of the original series regulars on Fox's MADtv, on which he made his television debut.
The success of Lange on MADtv led to him being cast opposite Norm MacDonald in Lange's first starring role in the MGM feature film Dirty Work. This led to a string of feature films, including supporting roles in the Dreamworks feature film Old School, starring Luke Wilson, Vince Vaughn, and Will Ferrell, as well as New Line Cinema's Elf, also starring Ferrell. He also reunited with MacDonald as a series regular on Norm (ABC).
When Norm finished its run, Lange came back to New York City and began sitting in regularly as a guest comedian on the nationally syndicated program, The Howard Stern Show. In October of 2001 he became a regular member of the show.
Lange starred in, co-wrote, and produced his own feature film, Beer League, to rave reviews. Lange is also a regular guest on The Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live! and The Best Damn Sports Show, Period. He was also a guest roaster on Comedy Central's roasts of Hugh Hefner and William Shatner. Elsewhere on television, Lange appeared in episodes of Entourage, Rescue Me, Louie, and Californication.
In 2008, Artie's first book, Too Fat to Fish, debuted at number one on the New York Times bestseller list. The book is a collection of narrative episodes from throughout Lange's life, from his childhood to his USO trip to Afghanistan in July 2008, with a foreword written by Howard Stern. In 2009, Artie starred in his own special, Jack and Coke, with Joe Matarese.
Lange continues to sell out venues across the United States performing his stand-up comedy. His second book, Crash and Burn, written with Too Fat to Fish co-author Anthony Bozza, will be published by Touchstone in October 2013.

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