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Too Fat to Fish [Hardcover]

Artie Lange , Anthony Bozza , Howard Stern
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (314 customer reviews)


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That's Not a Defect, That's "Too Fat to Fish"
Due to an intentional design element, some purchasers of Too Fat to Fish have wondered if they've received defective copies. This is the book as Artie Lange and the publisher designed it, with chapter titles on every page, cropped at the top edge. See an example page from the book. [JPG]

Book Description

November 11, 2008

Outrageous, raw, and painfully funny true stories straight from the life of the actor, comedian, and much-loved cast member of The Howard Stern Show—with a foreword by Howard Stern.

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, it was possibly the greatest thing ever to happen in the Stern universe, second only to the show’s move to the wild, uncensored frontier of satellite radio. Lange provided what Stern had yet to find all in the same place: a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a pathetic self-image to dwarf his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting.

A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for—sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction: He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was eighteen and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.

True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn’t have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie’s never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.

Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, TOO FAT TO FISH is Artie Lange giving everything he’s got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.



Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This debut memoir from the comedian best known as Howard Stern's radio show sidekick is scrappy, funny, tumultuous and profane, just like its author. Lange, a self-proclaimed fat guy with a heroin problem, is difficult to love, but easy to like, his shaggy-dog life story full of derogatory self-awareness and cheerful vulgarity (often in the form of casual profanity and sexism). Many episodes from this life story will be familiar to Stern listeners, including the infamous "Pig Story," wherein Lange snorts cocaine while in full pig costume on the set of television's MADtv. Less familiar to fans will be a sobering account of Lange's suicide attempt and fond childhood memories of his beloved father. Lange's outrageous and horrific behavior involves prostitution, jail time and several trips to rehab; perhaps the saddest recurring theme is the frequency with which Lange thanks someone who's helped him, only to reveal that that person is no longer a part of his life. Glossing over Lange's penchant for alienating people is just one oversight that keeps this warts-and-all memoir from feeling fully honest. Still, for those with a taste for his aggressive, self-loathing brand of humor will find this volume full of compulsively readable stories. Photos.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

Review

“A very funny man.”–David Letterman
“A comedy treasure…One of the funniest guys there is…The pride of New Jersey.” –Jimmy Kimmel

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Spiegel & Grau (November 11, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0385526563
  • ISBN-13: 978-0385526562
  • Product Dimensions: 6.4 x 1.1 x 9.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (314 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #316,812 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

When Artie Lange joined the permanent cast of The Howard Stern Show in 2001, most fans would agree it was one of the greatest things ever to happen in the Stern universe. Lange provided Stern with a wit quick enough to keep pace with his own, a personal history both heartbreaking and hilarious, and an ingrained sense of self-sabotage that continually keeps things interesting. True fans will find Artie gold in these pages: riotous tales from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent USO tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. Complete with a Foreword by Howard Stern and raw new material, this volume also features stories that Artie has never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio. Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, this is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
33 of 38 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
I picked up TOO FAT TO FISH, the autobiography of comedian and HOWARD STERN SHOW cast member Artie Lange, expecting to flip-read it. But, starting with a funny introduction from Stern that Lange matches or exceeds laugh-per-page for the rest of the book, TOO FAT TO FISH did not leave my hands until I read every word.

Despite Stern's introduction, Artie Lange does not say much about his work on the radio show in TOO FAT TO FISH until the last couple of chapters. But Lange and coauthor Anthony Bozza hold your attention throughout the pre-Stern years with tales of the comedian's charmed life. I say "charmed life" because, despite Lange's tendencies toward alcohol/drug abuse, gambling, overeating, and angry outbursts, a world of family and friends - even show-business friends - watch his back. There are a number of touching moments, especially regarding his parents. Prepare to choke up as Artie Lange realizes the only difference between homeless drug addicts and him is the support of those who loved this 296-lb. prodigal son. Nonetheless, even reflections such as that lead to some of the funniest comments in TOO FAT TO FISH thanks to Lange's ability to laugh at himself, wisecracking his way through the details of his darkest moments.

Howard Stern hired Artie Lange on his radio show in 2001 after joke whiz Jackie Martling left. But the void Lange filled best was that of Sam Kinison, a regular HOWARD STERN SHOW guest whose combination of comic talent, substance abuse problems and volatile personality made for hours of compelling radio until his untimely 1992 death.

While there are not as many HOWARD STERN SHOW-related anecdotes as you may expect, TOO FAT TO FISH has a number of celebrity stories.
... Read more ›
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hysterical! December 16, 2010
Format:Audio CD|Amazon Verified Purchase
What a great book. I waivered between buying the audio version or the "real" book. I am glad I went with the audio book. Hearing these stories told by Artie himself makes all the difference!!! I highly recommend this book.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Less funny than I was spec ting, but still a good read February 28, 2013
By B. Lowy
Format:Kindle Edition
Artie has done some messed up stuff, and while some of it is very funny most of it is "Less than Zero" sad and he spends a lot of time thanking all the people who saved his life over and over. Still a good read, and you'll want to go rent some of his movies right after.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Wah November 14, 2012
Format:Kindle Edition|Amazon Verified Purchase
I liked Artie before I read this book. What a whiner! Sorry, didn't enjoy it at all. I suppose it might have helped if I were a baseball fan, but since I'm not...
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover
One of the best Autobiography type books on a person i have ever read. So much emotion. One second your laughing so hard you've just pissed yourself and 5 pages later your crying like a baby!

What a wonderful experience! Buy It. Enjoy it. Love it. Its an amazing book that chronicals the events of one Fat Funny Man. Artie Lange!

If I had the option to give this book 10 stars I would. To be honest i give very tough reviews.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars can stop laughing December 6, 2010
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Artie you Rule man Get well soon.This book is so funny it has to be made up lol. but the sad thing is it isn't man Autie I feel your pain. My mother told me it was to hot to swim just so she didn't have to drive us to the beach. happy reading
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny and Entertaining November 25, 2008
By Bill
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
Excellent! Artie is a fantastic story teller. This is a fully entertaining read.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Disposable July 8, 2009
Format:Paperback
Artie has lead a relatively interesting life and can be a very good storyteller. It's become increasingly clear though to Stern Show listeners that part of that storytelling technique is gross exaggeration and outright lying. At heart, Artie's really interesting mostly as a case study in self-loathing and aggressive machismo. He can be very funny when in a reactive mode, however left to his own devices he's a repetitive, narcisistic boor.

As compared to Howard Stern's two books and Robin Quivers' book, each detailed and thoughtful, this is shallow and disposable. If you want to read it, it is probably possible to pick up a used copy as there are probably many around that once belonged to Stern Show fans who have tired of Artie.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!!
First time I've ever read a book and laughed the whole damn time! Artie has the best stories that he actually lived.
Published 5 days ago by Chase
5.0 out of 5 stars great b day present
I bought this book for my husband on his birthday. He loved it and couldnt put it down! he said it was very funny and interesting. He wants me to read it too. Read more
Published 12 days ago by Jen leavitt
5.0 out of 5 stars Classic Artie...
If you are familiar with Artie Lange at all through the Stern Show or elsewhere, you won't be able to put this down as you laugh aloud. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Christoph B.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
The book is an easy read, entertaining and interesting. Artie is great! I had the pleasure of meeting him. Down to earth, just a good guy. I couldn't put the book down.
Published 1 month ago by Richard E. Hoynes
4.0 out of 5 stars sad hilarious artie
artie seems to be the type of guy you would want to go to any football , basketball , or baseball game with . Read more
Published 1 month ago by mr. ruthless
5.0 out of 5 stars book
Do you like Artie Lange? Do you like to read about him? If yes to both, buy the book, if no then don't.
Published 2 months ago by V
5.0 out of 5 stars A Must Read
First off it is hysterical, but sad at the same time. Regardless of what you think about Artie Lange this book more than anything is about a young man who took a huge risk to... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Atticus Bailey
5.0 out of 5 stars Good Information
I found out allot of new info about mad man. It was very nice to hear a little more about someone we all love.
Published 4 months ago by dennis buehrle
5.0 out of 5 stars Too fat to fish review
I loved this book!!!!!!!! It was hilarious the whole way through. I have been through some of the same situations, although not as extreme, but I could still relate. Read more
Published 4 months ago by adam
5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely out of your comfort zone
This book is for anyone disinterested in reading the self-serving crap everyone else is in to these days. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Matthew A. Bozenda
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Baba Booey
Mah professional life is, like, a noin, but mah personal life is a two.
Jun 22, 2008 by S. J. Reid |  See all 140 posts
Who's High Pitch???
STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!
Nov 10, 2008 by Cristian Luna |  See all 7 posts
Is Artie going to do the read, I hope so.
Artie announced today (6-17-08) on the Howard Stern Show that he *will* be the reader of his forthcoming book. It disappoints me terribly that Random House is charging such a large amount for a ABRIDGED version with no plans to release an unabridged one.

I am sure that the Library of Congress... Read more
Jun 17, 2008 by Joe C. Mazzini |  See all 2 posts
Are You a fan Who's Disillusioned with Artie's book?
I totally agree. I love Artie. Think he's hilarious, but we've heard almost every story in the book. Maybe book two will be stronger. As a fan, I wanted to hear more about working on the Stern show. It's been such a boon to Artie personally and professionally, but other than a few quips here and... Read more
Dec 14, 2008 by J. Hardin |  See all 2 posts
Artie's book left me wondering how long he will live...
That is exactly how I felt. I just know that one morning I will read the same headline as Chris Farley. I sure hope he can figure things out though!
Nov 20, 2008 by Mona L. Vazquez |  See all 2 posts
What size knife is correct to gut a fish? Be the first to reply
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