Customer Reviews

Too Good for Her Own Good: Breaking Free from the Burden of Female Responsibility

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

As a man searching to find reasons why a wonderful marriage would end so suddenly, I've read my share of books. This book provides a clear explanation of why these wonderful women, that we men love so much, can just up and leave out of the blue. I'm so thankful to Bepko and Krestan for laying it out so well. And I can use the information to help understand women better and their Code of Goodness burden.

Reading this book changed my life. At a time when I felt unable to free myself from an abusive relationship, my therapist loaned me this book. Reading it made me see, and eventually realize in my heart, that I am not doing anyone any favors by doing too much for them. The applications of this book range from co-dependency and abusive relationships, to simply feeling unable to say no, to drug and alcohol addiction issues. With the help of this book, I realized that I could not rescue my abusive partner from himself. I then felt relieved of a tremendous burden which allowed me to move on with my life. If you desire this sort of revelation in your own life, read this book.

If you have lost yourself in a relationship or are always doing for others and not yourself, then this book is for you. The author uses examples and specific cases to help the reader pinpoint relationship problems. Most importantly, after you have identified the problem, the author offers life changing information to help the reader to come to resolve. It is the best gift I have given myself. In fact ,I bought several copies for my friends.

I wish I had read this book years ago. It is a must read for every woman going through divorce, child rearing, or troubled interpersonal relationships. For centuries women have been told how to behave and what their roles should be in the family and society. Seldom have we been taught how to acheive what is good for ourselves or the importance of personal happiness. As women we have been told since we were children that as long as everyone is satisfied we will be satisfied. Then we are mystified as adults when we constantly give but the satisfaction never comes. This book explains why and how to stop the cycle. If you have a little girl in your house, read it now and teach her how to still give without deteriment to her own dreams, needs and wishes. You are never too old to learn!

Ms. Bepko finally answers the question of why I keep trying harder only to be less satisfied with the result! A must-read for women [and men?] who feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated. I've already given away the first copy I bought, because that reader also felt it helped answer a lot of 'why's about frustration and guilt.

The authors promise no easy fixes, no magic wand. But by explaining the burden under which many women labor in trying to keep everything balanced, they help us understand why we feel the way we do. With understanding comes choice - and the reader can choose how to implement this new understanding into everyday life.

Read it soon! It may change your life! This book is making a major contribution to my own recovery from clinical depression.

I thought I was the only person who felt this way. I started reading this book and thought the authors were writing about me! In the process of ending a 20+ year marriage, I am searching for answers about myself and have found at least some of them in this book. My husband and I have both seen separate counselors to deal with our loss, and his counselor sent the book home for me to read. I will be forever grateful. Not only that, I will recommend it to my friends (and my teenage daughter).

I have suggested this book to many of my clients, who have found it very helpful. This book explores the painful side of being good and doing good. Some of these ways of being and doing good include always being attractive, being a "lady," being unselfish, making relationships work, and being competent without complaint. There are anecdotes about women who felt better after they stopped trying to meet others' standards of being good. To use the authors' words, these women woke up from "the trance of goodness." I recommend this book highly; it is refreshing, practical, and rings true.

I read this book in 1994 and highly recommend it to women who are struggling with overcoming codependency and issues related to self-esteem. The author's confront the "inner voices" that stop many women from being comfortable with themselves.

The theory this book is based on is that women are taught from childhood to live by the Code of Goodness. This Code ends up making women feel used and powerless and leads to many relationship and self esteem problems.

The beginning half of this book was a little tough for me to buy into. I don't completely agree with all of the theories on why women have a tendency to be "too good", but there was enough helpful insight that I thought it was well worth the read. I don't think you have to completely agree with the author in order to get something out of this book. It was easy to read and well organized.
NOTE: I think many men also suffer from being "too good" and that they would also benefit from this book. Unfortunately, it could turn them off because of the way it is written so directly to women.

When there are so many prompt, reliable booksellers working with Amazon, there's no reason to waste your time and money ordering from metismedia. My book was never received, and they didn't bother to respond to my emails. I did receive a refund when I filed a claim with Amazon. What's so hard about taking a book from inventory, popping it in a mailer, and sending it off within a reasonable length of time??