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Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age Paperback – Bargain Price, January 8, 2003
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From Publishers Weekly
Copyright 2001 Cahners Business Information, Inc.--This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
From Library Journal
Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.
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Top Customer Reviews
Being a parent is a demanding job, but many of us refuse to see it as such. We work enough at work, and at home we often seek some indulgence and fun with our kids. We want to be their friends rather than their guardians. At every moment, we want them to love us, and in any case not hate us. In short, oftentimes we are parenting for ourselves, rather than for our kids, for our convenience and pleasure. All this is not good news for our children. In fact, it betrays our rather passive role in their upbringing.
Some of the findings stand out as less obvious. That eating disorders in most cases can be traced to early childhood. That early learning of self-control, of coping with delayed gratification and boredom lead to higher SAT scores. That most sexually active teens wish they had waited.
The most thriving group of kids participating in the main study shared five characteristics. They had dinner with the family on a regular basis. Their parents were not divorced. Their room was clean. They engaged in community (even household) service. And they did not have a phone in their room.Read more ›
The prescription is that parents should set a good example, spend more time with their children (especially at dinner time), set limits so that their children will only take on challenges they are ready for, establish clear and consistent ways of enforcing limits, be caring, and help their kids take on greater, appropriate challenges as time passes.
The seeds of the problem relate to the parents' unresolved conflicts about parenting roles. They want their kids to be happy, but haven't thought through what's needed. Having more and more unearned freedom and choice creates dissatisfaction. Being more and more competent provides engaged, meaningful flow experiences. The parents want to be too much of a pal, and not enough of a parent.
To deal with this, Professor Kindlon encourages readers to think about the best things their parents did for them that are appropriate for their own children . . . and use those as models. Equally, parents should avoid overcompensating for what they disliked most about what their own parents did.Read more ›
Throughout his beautifully researched and thoughtfully-written volume on the issues of raising children today, Kindlon reveals his keen intelligence and kind heart as he discusses the potential long-term consequences of daily life decisions. His on-the-mark examples show that he is in-synch with the situations of today's families, and his experience and knowledge make him a fine guide as he plays out archetypal domestic scenarios to their logical conclusions. His advice is sage, pithy and practical, but never pedantic. He reads like Billy Crystal with a PhD in parenting.
Kindlon, the co-author (with Michael Thompson) of the poignant Raising Cain--which deals with the issues of raising young men in a culture that celebrates a certain image of the cool, unfeeling, in-control male--certainly knows the daily grind of sandwich-making and car-pool driving.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
There was a lot of personal anecdote in this book, hence , it was unfocused. The main idea of entitlement was very good. Read morePublished on July 4, 2013 by Krishna
four stars because the cover is wrinkled but the inside it is clean. great and helpful book, easy to read.Published on February 25, 2013 by sophia
Just read this book, finished in two days. It reads like a novel, and I found myself nodding my head often, thinking, Wow, why didn't I find this years ago? Dr. Read morePublished on April 15, 2012 by Melinda Thompson
What a fascinating read! I got it to help me with one of my papers but have ended up reading it for pleasure as well. It's very clear and well written. More parents should read it!Published on December 29, 2011 by A.Mary
This book outlines the pattern of problems seen in upper middle/upper class teens including depression, eating disorders, lack of focus and ambition, drinking/drug use, sexual... Read morePublished on May 8, 2011 by Busy Foodie Mom
This book addresses the problems that arise when children are given everything they want, but not what they most desperately need: parents who love them enough to set some limits. Read morePublished on June 16, 2010 by Jennifer Flanders
So far love the book- it was recommended on a parenting pod cast, so far so goodPublished on January 25, 2010 by Amazon Customer
"Too Much of a Good Thing" gives excellent insight into children amidst today's hectic and at times unstable culture. Read morePublished on September 18, 2008 by H. Gold