Customer Reviews

Toward Commitment

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

As a young woman (23) trying to find resources to understand what it takes to develop, keep and maintain a committed relationship the Rehm's anecdotal book was enlightening in an easy to read format. I am a believer in the idea that each relationship is a country unto itself but there are certain themes, struggles, etc., that tend to be common among all relationships which comes through clearly in the dialogue throughout this book. Regardless of any degree of fame Diane has gained over the years through her radio career and publication of her book "Finding My Voice", the Rehms are real people, with a real relationship that has weathered MANY ups and downs. (The fact that their relationship has endured to see 42 years seems like a miracle after reading this book!)
If you are interested in reading lay people's account of enduring and maintaining a committed relationship please give this book a try. The set up of the book (each chapter focuses on a different theme) allows the reader to pick and choose the concepts of interest to them. Both writing styles are clear and fluid making this book one that can be picked up and put down as time allows.
PLEASE ignore the reviews from disgruntled individuals who gave this book a low rating based on their opinions of Diane Rehm the radio personality and NPR. Those views in no way relate to the insight that can be gained from this book.

This is a very candid book detailing the ups and downs of a marriage spanning over 40 years. Between work, health, children, in-laws and financial challenges, it's sometimes hard to work things all out; and it's nice to know that someone has finally demystified the myth of "happily ever after." It takes work, communication, and trust; a solid marriage is something two people create together through their commitment to each other, and not something that just happens automatically.

Methinks the previous 'reviewer' doth protest too much - his/her cynicism is not only sad, it's ignorant. The Rehms make no bones that their relationship was hard work, that any relationship worth its salt does not come easy all the time. I appreciate learning some communication tips from a couple who's weathered the many ups and downs of 42 years of an overall happy, satisfying marriage. Recommended reading.

You don't often find a relationship-building book that makes you laugh out loud and this one did. I loved the format of "his thoughts", "her thoughts", then their dialogue on the topic. It proves that even if couples are miles apart in how they think about something like money or religion, there is a positive way to talk about it and reach agreement on a path forward. The totally honest, but always respectful way they talk to each other is a good lesson in effective communication. I feel this book is one of the few "relationship" books that has really helped me grow.

My husband and I view this very honest book as a generous tool for individuals and couples to digest, consider and learn. We would read a chapter or two at a time and share comments or enlightenments on the various topics which would lead us to more deeply discuss our own views on solitude, profession, criticism, retirement, money, sleep, etc. Not only was it thought provoking but it brought us to better appreciate how everything we do in our relationships sends some sort of message, and that if your relationship is a priority in your life you had better be both present and paying attention. Through the Rehms' enormous capacity for articulation, honesty and candidness we feel they have offered a "mining" tool to couples inclined (read; willing and able) to learn, evaluate and, perhaps, adjust (improve) where/who they are. Thank you Diane and John.

This is a very personal exploration of one couple's thoughts about the ups and downs of their marriage. They discuss, in detail, such basic topics as personality differences, anger, finances, work, children, values, etc. The only problem was that this was more of a memoir and I did not relate to much of what they wrote, since it was so particular to this couple and their own backgrounds and personalities. I was hoping for a book which would make me think about what it takes to maintain commitment and what issues one should think about before and during marriage - or even living together.

My hopes were fulfilled by one section at the end of the book, a questionnaire list of questions at the back of the book which could be helpful to nearly any couple contemplating commitment.

Finally, I took issue with a section which covered the "third person". Clearly, the couple were talking about being attracted to other people but I'm not sure how far this attraction went. Was there an affair? For how long? I understand the need for privacy but if one is to write a book which is truly honest and open about one's own marriage, then it is a bit disingenuous to be vague about this. Discussing how they got through it would have helped many readers, I'm sure.

I listened to the audio version over the course of 2 weeks. I enjoyed the Rehm's honesty and ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings about most topics related to marriage. What struck me as beautiful is that Diane held firm to her commitment to marriage even though she went through long periods of unhappiness, loneliness and disappointment. Most couples bail out and get divorced after a few months or years of disillusion, but Diane was smart enough and patient enough to work through the difficulties and in the end, John and Diane cultivated something beautiful - a lifelong happy marriage. I believe they recently celebrated their 50th anniversary. Congratulations for the fine example! Most people are on a pursuit of happiness and do not allow their relationship to blossom and mature.

How could her husband survive this woman? This is boring drivel and won't help anyone.

This review refers to the unbridged audio CD version of this book. I listened to the first two discs but couldn't continue further. Diane's voice makes me very uncomfortable. This book is about THEIR marriage. It is not for everybody else. All the time they are talking about their life together, which is just a small portion of the typical lives of marriage. And they talked sooooo many details, which bored me. It's like you lived their frustrating life again. Unless you and your partner are exactly like them - highly uncompatible at the beginning, this book cannot provide much useful advice. Actually, I was wondering what motivates them to write such a book and if anybody else except them will ever enjoy reading it.

Oh my gosh. If ever there was a more dreary, self-absorbed book than this desicated offering, please give me fair warning. I'd rather spend an evening with my head in a gas oven than crawl through another book like this.