Toward A Growing Marriage: Building the Love Relationship of your Dreams [Paperback]

Gary D. Chapman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 8, 1985

Marital Bliss?'My wife is a nag!' 'My husband thinks I'm his slave!'We just don't love each other anymore.'Common phrases in an all too common world of marital failure. We hear them everyday from our co-workers, our friends, and even ourselves. The separation and divorce rate among Christian couples continues to rise while thousands of other Christian couples continue to live together in something far less than the 'abundant life' that Jesus promised. Is your marriage turning out differently than you expected? Are all of today's alarming statistics making you wary of ever getting married? Well you are not alone. In Toward a Growing Marriage, Dr. Chapman offers the hope you've been looking for. The author of the best-selling book The Five Love Languages, will help you get your marriage off to a good start or back on the right track with advice that is both biblical and practical. Part of the problem, according to Dr. Chapman, is that too many times our churches have focused on the negative biblical directives when teaching about marriage. We need to know more than to not marry a non-believer and to save sex for marriage. We need to know how to succeed. Toward a Growing Marriage is divided into two sections in order to help two different audiences succeed: those who are in the process of finding a spouse who will be a 'fitting' or 'suitable' marriage partner those who have already said 'I do' and are trying to fulfill that commitmentMarital happiness is not automatic, but the practical application of Dr. Chapman's helpful information will put couples well on their way to successful and fulfilling marriages.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

GARY CHAPMAN is the author of the New York Times bestselling The Five Love Languages book series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., and travels around the world presenting seminars. Gary's radio program airs on more than 100 stations. For more information, visit (www.garychapman.org.)

Product Details

• Paperback: 225 pages
• Publisher: Moody Publishers; Second Edition edition (March 8, 1985)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0802487874
• ISBN-13: 978-0802487872
• Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.5 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #397,243 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #75 in Books > Christian Books & Bibles > Protestantism > Inspirational

More About the Author

Married more than 45 years to Karolyn, Dr. Gary Chapman is just the man to turn to for help on improving or healing our most important relationships. His own life experiences, plus over thirty-five years of pastoring and marriage counseling, led him to publish his first book in the Love Language series, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Millions of readers credit this continual New York Times bestseller with saving their marriages by showing them simple and practical ways to communicate their love to their partner.
Since the success of his first book, Dr. Chapman has expanded his Five Love Languages series to specifically reach out to teens, singles, men, and children (co-authored with Dr. Ross Campbell).
He is the author of numerous other books published by Moody Publishers/Northfield Publishing, including The World's Easiest Guide to Family Relationships, Anger, The Family You've Always Wanted, The Marriage You've Always Wanted, Desperate Marriages, God Speaks Your Love Language (Jan 09), Parenting Your Adult Child, and Hope for the Separated. He co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas.
Chapman speaks to thousands of couples nationwide through his weekend marriage conferences. He hosts a nationally syndicated radio program, Love Language Minute, and a Saturday morning program, Building Relationships with Dr. Gary Chapman, that air on more than 100 stations. Dr. Chapman also serves as senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.
Dr. Chapman holds BA and MA degrees in anthropology from Wheaton College and Wake Forest University, respectively, MRE and PhD degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary, and has completed postgraduate work at the University of North Carolina and Duke University.
Dr. Chapman and his wife have two adult children and two grandchildren, and currently live in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 59 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Discovering the True Heart through Communication, March 8, 2001

By 

Patty McCracken (Broken Arrow, Oklahoma) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Toward A Growing Marriage: Building the Love Relationship of your Dreams (Paperback)

My husband and I have been married for 9 years and had to read this book for an assignment in our training at Rhema Bible Training Center. My husband began to read his book first and would constantly ask me "When are you going to read your book?" To be honest, at first I thought I did not need this book BUT NOW I wish I read it before discussing marriage. This book brings out issues that my husband and I after 6 yrs of dating and a year and a half engagement plus nine years of marriage have never thought to discuss. These vary issues were building blocks that formed an invisible wall we could not see each other over. We had valuable parts of our lives that were effecting us that we were not sharing with one another because we did not know quit what they were or even how to communicate them. I am so thankful for the open communication we gained through this valuable tool. We both kept telling each other, "If we had read this book before marriage we would have saved much heartache and frustration." GLORY! The invisible wall is down and communication has entered such a more intimate and spiritually awakened level. This book is a MUST READ before even getting serious in dating! It helps you to look deep in yourself and see your heart and motives in a relationship as well as what you have to offer to someone else. Before getting engaged, I believe to be 100% effective both people should read and do the assignments in the book. BUT if like my husband and I you did not read this book and had limited communication THIS BOOK is the tool you need to help open you both to a new level of understanding and relating to one another. This book was our highway to a path we had never traveled with one another. I am very thankful this book is available and pray that everyone learns from it. A Happy Healthy relationship is worth everything you put in to it! This book is worth reviewing every 6 months and is fast and easy understanding with wonderful Assignments to encourage open two way bridge of communication that leads you both on the same path to a Loving Relationship of your dreams! Be blessed and encouraged. This book is a gentle tool to open doors to rooms and closets that you did not even know you housed. What a wonderful way to explore your own heart and motives as well as discuss those of your love one.

43 of 44 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Great read for married or engaged couples, July 27, 2000

By 

V. M Salomon "vinnie70" (Glendale Heights, Il) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Toward A Growing Marriage: Building the Love Relationship of your Dreams (Paperback)

My wife and I read this book before we got married. It explains how to use Christian principals to relate to marital issues. How to always approach your mate in charity and always resolve situations in the spirit of love and not anger. It gives accounts of how this philosophy has played a role in many marraiges.

While this book is good,we enjoyed Dr. Chapman's other book, The Five Love Languages much better.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good tools for the married and unmarried, January 2, 2005

By 

Sara Swihart (Fort Wayne, Indiana, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Toward A Growing Marriage: Building the Love Relationship of your Dreams (Paperback)

A great annoyance that I had with the beginning of this book was the concept of "ministry dating", a Christian dating a non-Christian. Chapman points to 2 Corinthians 6:14 as a reason that marrying is not a good idea. He also said that there is a lack of commitment in a Christian/non-Christian relationship. Honestly, the whole thing could backfire and the "unsaved" may be very jaded toward religion if the relationship does not work out. Also, the Christian may be drawn into sin by the non-Christian, after all, sin loves company (see Genesis 3).

I still think that this book is worthy of a 4 star rating. There is a lot of practical advice with Biblical back-up. It has really caused me to re-think the role of a wife, but at the same time, it doesn't say that the wife is inferior to the husband, she is his partner, his teammate.

The sections of the book that I think I learned the most from where the chapters on sex and money. Both have been perverted by modern day society. Chapman gives practical and Biblical advice in this area.

The chapter dealing with in-laws was very eye-opening. I never really considered "Honor thy father and thy mother" when thinking about in-laws. However, it does make sense that if you are talking bad about your MIL, you may cause your husband to dishonor his mother.

"Who Will Clean the Commode?" - I didn't really give a lot of thought to the duties that each marriage partner would perform, whether it be cleaning the toilet, or paying the bills. I just thought that those things would work themselves out, and perhaps they might have. However, a much better solution would be to assign responsibilities before marriage so each partner knows what the other expects of them.

One of the great things about this book is that the "Growth Assignments" at the end of each chapter offer a section for the married and the unmarried. I thought this was very helpful.

The last chapter had a couple of annoying spelling errors (I am an editor, I pick up that kind of thing), but not so many that it makes the text difficult to read or understand.