Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict [Hardcover]

Peter J. Frost (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 1578512573 | ISBN-13: 978-1578512577 | Publication Date: January 28, 2003

Human interaction is never flawless. Even the best relationships produce tension and at times, unpleasant emotions. Since organizations are comprised of people, all organizations generate emotional pain as part of the process of doing business: producing new products on tight deadlines, setting benchmarks for performance, creating budgets, crafting company policies, and so on. Getting the job done is rarely painless. But when emotional pain goes unmanaged or is poorly handled, it can negatively affect both employees and the bottom line - in essence, it becomes toxic. In "Toxic Emotions at Work and What to Do About Them", Peter J. Frost argues that the way an organization responds to pain determines whether it remains toxic or becomes generative, whether it endures as a debilitating poison or is transformed into a force for healthy organizations.According to Frost, when ignored, toxic emotions betray employees' hopes, bruise their egos, reduce their enthusiasm for work, and diminish their sense of connectedness to their company's community and goals. Compassionate responses to pain, on the other hand, encourage those who are suffering to effect constructive changes in their work lives. Despite their powerful role in employee performance, toxic emotions are rarely addressed by organizations. Instead, most companies respond to pain informally and unconsciously through self-selected individuals whom Frost calls "toxin handlers." Typically a senior manager or someone with a high emotional intelligence capacity, toxin handlers soften the blow of emotional pain for others, but over the course of time, absorb much of the pain they handle to their own detriment.They are often unrecognized, unrewarded, and poorly supported by their organizations. And, while they often provide a temporary relief from the symptoms of toxic organizational pain, toxin handlers alone are unable to eradicate toxic emotions for the long-term. "Toxic Emotions at Work and What to Do About Them" suggests that handling toxic emotions effectively is an important, though unrecognized set of competencies that must be understood and embraced - not only by toxin handlers, but by leaders, managers, and the organization as a whole. Through rich examples of how individuals and organizations have managed emotional pain successfully, Frost describes the key skills necessary to cope with emotional pain and to manage it effectively, and offers concrete courses of action for organizations to institutionalize compassion in the face of emotional pain.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Organizational "toxin handlers"-the people who deal with emotional pain in the workplace-serve a dual role, says Frost, contributing positively to the health of both companies and their employees. The author, an organizational behavior professor at the University of British Columbia, explains that toxicity is a normal by-product of organizational life. It can stem from hard-driving executives who push production and motivate by fear; inevitable changes like layoffs, mergers or leadership shifts; or personal pain from illness, death or lifestyle transitions. Frost offers myriad anecdotes to show how toxin handlers attempt to absorb bad vibes via the role of compassionate listener, guide, buffer and mentor. These do-gooders face repercussions from their often-unacknowledged efforts; they might, for instance, become emotionally over-involved with people in pain, or even become toxic themselves. Although specific remedies for painful situations require custom-made responses, companies can adopt certain practical responses, e.g., "raise the issue of competence without undermining anyone's abilities." Emotions at work are an increasingly absorbing business dilemma, and this thoughtful book should be a help to leaders for whom there's more at stake than mere corporate profit and loss.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

A compelling analysis... Toxic Emotions at Work has the potential to transform the discourse on leadership and leadership education today. -- HBR Press Endorsement Robin Ely, Associate Professor of Organizational Behavior, Harvard Business School.

Author uses multiple cases and examples showing the debilitating effects of organizational toxins and suggests practical ways to handle them -- Edgar H. Schein Sloan Fellows Professor of Management Emeritus and Senior Lecturer, MIT Sloan School of Management HBS Endorsement

Peter Frost breaks a taboo in business schools by discussing the need for leadership to address the pain of change. -- Ronald A. Heifetz, Cofounder, The Center for Public Leadership, Harvard University, Kennedy School of Government and coauthor of Leadership on the Line. HBS Endorsement

This is a marvelous account of what really holds organizations together ---and the costs incurred in doing so. -- Karl E. Weick, Rensis Likert Distinguished University Professor of Organizational Behavior and Psychology, University of Michigan Business School. HBS Endorsement

Toxic Emotions at Work provides tested guidelines for handling the fallout of emotional toxicity with clarity, conviction and compassion -- Philip H. Mirvis, organizational psychologist and consultant and author of From the Desert and Back. HBS Enorsement

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 251 pages
• Publisher: Harvard Business School Press (January 28, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1578512573
• ISBN-13: 978-1578512577
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #355,676 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Apt metaphor for common experience, June 30, 2003

By 

Dr Cathy Goodwin (Seattle, WA USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict (Hardcover)

I picked up this book because I am familiar with the author from days when I, then firmly planted in the academic world, assigned his articles to graduate students learning to do research. I knew his academic credentials are impeccable and I was prepared to trust what he wrote. And that, I think, accounts for the success of Toxic Emotions.

Toxic Emotions covers ground that has been worked before. Workplace pain has been discussed by self-help authors ("working wounded") and academics who have studied burnout and stress. Frost's remedies also remain conventional: get exercise, stay detached, be positive, find space outside work.

The willingness of executives to explore feelings is no longer new either. See Marsha Sinetar's The Mentor's Spirit and Mark Albion's Making a Life, Making a Living. And I once heard a speaker insist that therapy was no longer a taboo topic. "Everybody either has been in therapy or has a family member in therapy," he said.

The book's contribution comes from integrating these topics and putting them together and offering a research rather than a self-help context. The "toxin" medical metaphor offers a creative context to explore workplace pain and make the topic more accessible to those skeptical of new age "woo-woo."

Toxic Emotions seems directed entirely to managers and focuses on what managers can and "should" do --
and that's both the strength and limitation of the book. Employees are depicted as passive victims who need management intervention to survive.

Unfortunately, most people aren't as lucky as the clerk who was "rescued" from a toxic boss. They need to learn to protect themselves and take charge of their own lives.

And some very fine managers will never be able to function effectively as healers. I was surprised to see no reference to outside resources, such as coaches or consultants. I can understand the author's suspicion of the coaching industry (coaching schools tend to be atheoretical, to say the least) but carefully-selected coaches and consultants can often be less costly and more effective than managers whose gifts lie elsewhere. And, while confiding in a manager may bring short-term emotional relief, someday those confidences may backfire. Hiring a coach seems cheap if the only alternative is to risk your career by being too open.

Consultants can also help managers and employees implement Frost's suggestions. For example, they can teach employees to develop positive attitudes and create more balance in their lives. Saying "Just get a grip!" works well with some people but others remain clueless -- and some, temperamentally, cannot just shed their frustrations the way they shake water out of an umbrella. They need to learn to compensate or find a new workplace -- both time-consuming options that call for one-on-one learning experiences.

We also need to consider the bigger picture. All organizations may contain the potential for developing toxins. Even Southwest Airlines has been sued by an employee who felt victimized by an overzealous prank. And some employees are more susceptible to toxicity, just as some sneeze more during allergy season.

I suspect a large amount of workplace pain comes from feeling trapped, a source not mentioned here . We need not just empathetic managers but an infrastructure to support alternatives to corporate employment.

The absence of cultural support and societal infrastructure to support self-employment, discussed by Pink (Free Agent Nation) and Bridges (JobShift), accounts for a large part of workplace pain.

There's a bit of irony in the book's opening anecdote. The author learns he has cancer -- from a call his oncologist makes on a Friday night!

Frost was set up for a weekend of helpless worry. Couldn't the call wait till Monday morning, when he could at least go into action right away or at least get an emergency appointment with a therapist? A reminder that toxic systems exist in every sector -- so taken for granted that the author doesn't even comment.

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An essential book for working with emotion and compassion, January 3, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict (Hardcover)

The title is pretty self-explanatory, and the book is a marvelous description of an emerging phenomenon that results from complex and challenging work environments. The notion of toxic organizations isn't new, everyone has a story about one. What is new is the way leaders and managers are trying to deal with toxicity in organizations. As more and more managers develop their authenticity at work, they become more and more open to the swirling currents of emotion that surround them. Mangers who help to manage these currents in organizations become "toxin handlers" and require a whole set of strategies aimed at preserving their health and the health and compassion of the organization.

This book opens up a whole new side to management, leadership and action with purpose. It's based on stories of actual practice and contains tools and discussion aimed at increasing the capacity of organizations and people to lead with compassion in times of rapid and emotionally exhausting change.

6 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The emotional side of working life, December 19, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Toxic Emotions at Work: How Compassionate Managers Handle Pain and Conflict (Hardcover)

So often, books about business or leadership either ignore emotions or focus on crassly instrumental manipulation of emotions to promote career success. In contrast, Professor Peter Frost uses everyday language to explore, honestly, the positive and negative emotions that surface in any organization. He is especially eloquent when he describes how pain (associated, for example, with illness, death, career troubles, or family problems) surfaces or is suppressed at work. His vivid, real examples make these problems come alive. Next, he shows how leaders who are unafraid of being honest about emotions, can ease and comfort those who suffer, helping to make work a better place. The stories of these emotional heros and heroines offer leaders a new way of thinking and behaving that could benefit us all.