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Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Paperback – January 2, 2002
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— Abigail Van Buren, “Dear Abby”
“I consider Susan Forward to be among the foremost therapists of our age.”
— John Bradshaw, author of Healing the Shame That Binds You and Homecoming
Bantam Books by Susan Forward:
Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them:
When Loving Hurts and You Don’t Know Why
When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go
Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life
Top Customer Reviews
This book is about and at the same time is for those adult children.
As children, our parents give us a script, a way of being that we use to filter all that we experience. If that script is one that says ` you are worthless, to be abused - sexually, physically, emotionally ` then all I do in my life, all my actions, my reactions and interactions will be through the filter of my lack of worth.
This is a book for those adults whose sense of worthlessness underpins all they do.
I work as a counsellor and often those I work with tell me that they are responsible for what their parents did. "If I hadn't cuddled Daddy he wouldn't have got in to bed with me", "If I'd done better at school I wouldn't have got punished". A valuable message in this book is that the child is a child not a mini adult. The real adults are the responsible ones and it is they that are accountable for the abuse inflicted on their children.Read more ›
No parent is perfect. We all know that. This book is not about demonizing parents. It is about learning to recognize incidents in our lives that adversely affect our behavior and our emotional well-being. I bought this book because of problems my husband and I were having with his parents. Since he was a child, he had been put into a role of emotional partner to his mother. When he decided to start doing some things on his own, she got very upset and started pouring on the guilt. I arrived on the scene at about the same time and became a convenient scapegoat, accused of manipulating him and stealing him away from them. Unfortunately (before I found this book and other helpful ones) things got really bad, and now we have virtually no relationship with my in-laws. It's a very sad situation. However, my husband and I now recognize the games for what they are and no longer buy into the idea that it's our fault for "upsetting" them so much that they just can't be around us. (If I hadn't experienced it myself, I wouldn't have believed that adults could behave in such an irrational manner! ) Reading books like this one and speaking with counselors has provided us with useful insights that will help us interact with them in a healthy manner, if we ever get the chance again.
If you're going through this too, you are NOT alone! Get this book and read it. It helps you recognize behaviors that are harmful to you. It helps you learn to overcome problems in the past and avoid inappropriate treatment in the future.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Good read. I always thought there was something fishy about the idea of "forgiving" my abusive, cruel, emotionally unavailable, self-centered parents, especially when they... Read morePublished 8 days ago by Amazon Customer
If you have had a toxic relationship with your parents or are currently still in one this book is for you.Published 8 days ago by Katherine Dickens
Excellent book on a very difficult topic. Very encouraging to read.Published 14 days ago by former michigander....
The individual accounts are great. Some you may totally identify with, but others may shock you. It helps to share the book with a supportive friend or partner.Published 25 days ago by AnneInFlorida
This is a great book. I'm now 60, and fighting cancer. I reflect on my childhood often, and I see things my parents did set me up for terrible problems in adult life. Read morePublished 26 days ago by mike6
Yikes! I thought I had it bad growing up. The stories the author relates are really horrendous, even though in the introduction she says they are what she normally runs across... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Gregory Brylski