16 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
5 STARS for "TOYS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN", April 27, 2003
This review is from: The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children (DVD)
"THE TOY BOX" was pretty lame...but that's not why I bought this DOULBLE FEATURE DISK!
"TOYS ARE NOT FOR CHILDREN" is bizarre and beautiful! And Super Creepy! Child-like grown woman is obsessed with pleasing her father...to do this she becomes a 'prostitute' because the only thing she knows about him is that he fancies the 'working girls'. She hasn't seen him since she was six years old...but somehow thoughout her life he sends her children's toys (that she sexualizes as a way to relate to good ol' Dad).
Bad scripting, bad directing, really bad acting, crummy editing, and disjointed plot twists add up to one heck of a nail biter at the end.
Buy this disk if you like twisted storylines...AND the disk has a great short about a toy truck. And a short nudie about some Christmas Cuties.
Something Weird Video RULES THE SKOOL!!!
=^..^=
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
My heart belongs to daddy..., December 21, 2005
This review is from: The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children (DVD)
Toys are not for Children is an interesting and original movie that charts unchartered territory that is probably better off unchartered. I started off liking this movie a lot, but after repeated viewings the numerous fault of this film become so apparent that it makes any attempt to take it seriously difficult.
The formula for this sexploitation flick is simple: take a taboo s e x subject and milk it for all its worth. These movies usually are just an excuse to make soft core pxxrn. TanfC doesn't need a lot of nudity to keep its viewers attention as it is quite controversial on its own.
You see, Jamie Gedard, our hero-ine has a certain fixation on daddy-dearest and has a nasty habit of taking the toys he gives her "to bed with her." Yes, at first this is a very original idea, but when the initial reaction wears off its just plain silly. The movie opens with her laying in bed nude with a toy soldier moaning "daddy, daddy." After this we have the titles that are shown over footage of various toys along with the catchy theme song, "Lonely am I."
Now Jamie's getting married to this boy she works with. This movie jumps around through time a lot. I have to give the movie credit for this non-chronological scene sequence it develops long before Pulp Fiction made it chic to do so. Anywho, now on their honeymoon, they give us the pleasure of watching her husband, Charlie, undress while Jamie undresses in the bathroom. Thanks a lot movie, way to service your audience. We also have to sit through some painful early synth music.
The good news for Charlie is that his new wife is incredibly hot, the bad news is she is bat-shxxt crazy and frigid and would rather sleep with her toy soldier than him. In the city she befriends a vvhore named Pearl. Meanwhile back at the toy shop, Charlie's friend appears which is hilarious. He either just smoked up a bit before walking on the set, or he's a scientologist because he just stares at Charlie with this strange grin on his face.
The acting is actually pretty good for a low budget grindhouse film, of course it has it moments when it is so forced that you grind your teeth, as is apparent in this next scene where Charlie and Jamie get in a fight. Unfortunately for Charlie, Jamie learned a lot from her mother's downright bxxchitude.
Long story short, Jamie spends her time playing with toys while Charlie runs around town in sexual frustration. Since Jamie can't make love to her husband since she only has feelings for daddy she does what any girl in her situation would do, she becomes a vvhore! On her journey of sexual discovery she can only hope that one of her johns turns out to be daddy. The blurb for this movie actually spoils the ending for us, but I'll be nice and won't repeat it.
Has some genuinely original ideas that make it worth at least watching once, even if its absurd premise and poor production value hinders any repeated viewing attempts.
Like most Something weird videos, this DVD is a double feature. The other films, The Toy Box, has little to do with TanfC, except for the fact that they both have toy in the title. Toy Box is your average soft core sexploitation Harry Novak Production. Well, maybe not so average as it takes place in this haunted house. Not bad if you skip to the good parts. It also features Martha Jordan, who is looking younger and hotter than usual, albeit much too briefly. So keep that in mind if you're a Martha Jordan fan.
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11 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
The only connection is they have the word 'toy' in the title, April 9, 2003
This review is from: The Toy Box / Toys Are Not for Children (DVD)
"The Toy Box" (aka "The Orgy Box") might have been a porn film, I'm not sure, but the Amazon version is not very explicit.
There's a supernatural sex theme as various people get their just desserts in interesting ways, the best being as Uschi Diggart is seduced by the bed-sheets she lies in.
Very little makes sense, but I loved it for that alone.
The next film "Toys are not for Children" is quite strange (not in any positive way). A girl is obsessed with her long-lost father and the toys she got from him.
She grows up to an immature woman. A man marries her, but she can't satisfy him or herself as she wants to sleep with her toys. I thought that this was just stupid.
Somehow she gets involved with an odd woman who sets her up with another man (who *spoiler alert* *spoiler alert* turns out to be her daddy whom she kills)!
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