Customer Reviews

Trading My Sorrows

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This is a very inspirational life story that shows there is always hope and that, no matter how far you've gone on the wrong path, it's never too late to turn back. Anyone considering sex reassignment surgery should read this book and also Heyer's other books. It will open your eyes and hopefully stop you from doing some of the mistakes i did.

All I can say is WOW. Walt Heyer paints a picture of his life with all its twists and turns with honesty and openness. "Perseverance" hardly begins to describe it. Is there a word that tells of more determination? And what a beautiful ending! I won't spoil it for you, read to the end and enjoy the tears of joy at the rewards of hanging in there.

Wow, you will be captivated and surprised by how deep and inspiring this personal biography/story is! Someone sharing a story that does not go with the grain, a voice of someone sharing their experience of brokeness and then freedom. I could not put it down, few people are this honest about the kind of personal struggles and vitories that the author has been through. I wish the majority of people I work with and know could hear this story (even a short version of it) because this is an area where real dialogue is needed. The story goes far beyond the facade offered in many movies, or sitcoms and gets to the real life of a person wrestling with the very core of their identity, survivial, and the amazing love and grace they find on the other end.

Once again, I read it in one round-trip plane flight, hard to put down!

I just got finished reading this book (and it was short, so I was able to read it all in one sitting) and I feel like Mr. Heyer has wasted my time. The summary of the book doesn't tell you about what you're really going to read. I do not like to read stories about addictions and if I had known that much of the book focused around Walt's drinking, (I think that the book is more about his drinking than his surgery) I wouldn't have bothered with it - but the summary never mentioned it specifically. Addicts are just too wretched of a people for me to sympathize with and so I really didn't care if Walt recovered. I immediately suspected that Walt had Split-Personality Disorder when he said that he was driven by a girl clad in a purple dress living inside of his head (he said this within the first couple of pages, long before he would reveal to us that was indeed his actual problem, that gender dysphoria was a misdiagnosis) and I was certain of it when he said that he felt comfortable identifying with this character because she had not suffered the pain from his childhood. Walt said that the surgery did not make him a woman and what he seems to mean by this is that the surgery did not keep his true persona (which is male) from pushing through (I wasn't under the impression that Laura, his fragmented personality who wanted to be a woman, was actually dissatisfied with the results of the surgery - she actually did appear to be, so I still don't see how the surgery in and of itself fails with what it's supposed to do; any medicine will fail if it's used for the wrong disease.) I was hoping (and thinking that I would) read the account of a man who had one persona that never doubted for a moment that it wanted to be a woman, (someone for whom the diagnosis of gender dysphoria would be correct; someone who spoke extensively with the doctor on his issues) who would get the surgery, and find that the results of the surgery would make him just neurotic as if he had had to continue going through life as a man (and not for the obvious reason of other people's intolerance - which seemed to be Walt's only problem with the surgery, and that really has nothing to do with the results of the surgery; anybody can be ostracized for anything.) I had wanted to read the book because I wanted to know whether he was able to reverse his bottom surgery (and he implied that he wasn't.) Most men could never recover from such a loss and would kill themselves, and frankly, if I were a man, I wouldn't be able to recover from it either. So I wanted to know how he can feel like a man, again. He never went into it (he barely even mentioned that he'd had the organ removed.) I also wonder how he and his wife can have their marital relations, and if they can't, if it just devastates them. He never mentions that (he makes it sound like they have a perfect marriage - that's impossible for me to believe.) At the beginning of the book, he says that people tend to blame problems in their lives on the dysfunctional homes that they grew up in, but that in order to recover you have to stop that and take responsibility (not an original message, by the way) but Walt, himself, still does see others as responsible for what happens to him; every time something works to his advantage, he praises the lord (I don't know how many times he used the word miracle.) He also started drinking more than ever and using cocaine once he'd lost his job (it seems to me that turning to alcohol and drugs would be the worst thing that you could do in that situation - but Walt seems to be pretty forgiving of himself.) My final criticism is that he shared too much information about his life in general (such as about his faith in religion, people he met, his jobs, et cetera) - I didn't care to read about his life story, I wanted to read about what was going through his mind; I wanted to read his mind (and I didn't, I just know that he was compelled by whichever personality took over.) I'm sorry, but Walt's a nutcase and so is his second wife for marrying him.

I've got to give this author high marks for honesty in this cautionary tale of transition and de-transition, leading to more transition and more de-transition. Here is a person who changed gender roles, complete with all the trimmings, and then changed back again, only to continue this revolving door process for years. Along the way, the author drank and did drugs and then stopped drinking, drugging and found God, drank some more, lost God and then finally found Him and sobriety, we hope for good. As one might imagine, while in the process of these constant changes, the author lost his career, his family, and his family jewels. Nevertheless, this is a well-written memoir about a sad and extremely tortured life, leading to a calamitous decision that eventually rights itself to a happy ending, as the author finds a higher calling and dedicates himself to a power larger than himself.

I give the author props for finding a solution to his particular problem which is all well and good for him, but, in my experience, the "author's way" is not necessarily "the way" for every, or even most gender dysphoric folks. It is fortunate that most of those with serious gender concerns seek competent therapists and doctors who subscribe to the WPATH Standards of Care that tend to protect gender dysphoric individuals, like the author, from going down this same tragic road. Of course, as it turns out, according to the author, he was always misdiagnosed with GID. Eventually correctly diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and provided with the "smoking gun" he needed to explain his gender dysphoria to himself and others, he eventually found a new life and a new wife, finally free of the dysphoria that plagued him for decades. It is certainly my hope that these feelings will not emerge again, but somewhere lurking, may be that shadowy girl in the purple dress, so be careful.

In my therapy practice, I haven't encountered anyone who has made this same horrible mistake, thank goodness, but I have read accounts of a few such individuals. For me, the moral of the story is to be darn sure you want what you wish for, because you may eventually get it.

A very interesting read and my sincere kudos to the author for this fine effort!

I've got to give this author high marks for honesty in this cautionary tale of transition and de-transition, leading to more transition and more de-transition. Here is a person who changed gender roles, complete with all the trimmings, and then changed back again, only to continue this revolving door process for years. Along the way, the author drank and did drugs and then stopped drinking, drugging and found God, drank some more, lost God and then finally found Him and sobriety, we hope for good. As one might imagine, while in the process of these constant changes, the author lost his career, his family, and his family jewels. Nevertheless, this is a well-written memoir about a sad and extremely tortured life, leading to a calamitous decision that eventually rights itself to a happy ending, as the author finds a higher calling and dedicates himself to a power larger than himself.

I give the author props for finding a solution to his particular problem which is all well and good for him, but, in my experience, the "author's way" is not necessarily "the way" for every, or even most gender dysphoric folks. It is fortunate that most of those with serious gender concerns seek competent therapists and doctors who subscribe to the WPATH Standards of Care that tend to protect gender dysphoric individuals, like the author, from going down this same tragic road. Of course, as it turns out, according to the author, he was always misdiagnosed with GID. Eventually correctly diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, and provided with the "smoking gun" he needed to explain his gender dysphoria to himself and others, he eventually found a new life and a new wife, finally free of the dysphoria that plagued him for decades. It is certainly my hope that these feelings will not emerge again, but somewhere lurking, may be that shadowy girl in the purple dress, so be careful.

In my therapy practice, I haven't encountered anyone who has made this same horrible mistake, thank goodness, but I have read accounts of a few such individuals. For me, the moral of the story is to be darn sure you want what you wish for, because you may eventually get it.

A very interesting read and my sincere kudos to the author for this fine effort!

Compelling and lucid, Walt Heyer's story is not one I will easily forget. It truly is a testimony to the extraordinary grace of God who, in the person and work of Jesus Christ, came to set captives free. I am amazed at the freedom Walt walks in today. I am also humbled by the Christ-like example of those who loved and supported him. If you need a fresh vision of the power of God at work in this world - hope for yourself and for those you love, I heartily recommend this book.

Trading My Sorrows by Walt Heyer is an inspiring true story of one man's incredible journey.

There are actually several stories in this one dynamic little book. There is the story of Walt Heyer,a man who loved God, but struggled against insurmountable confusion brought on by a childhood of abuse.

There is the story of a people who reached out to Walt with the compassion, love and grace of Jesus. A people who walked alongside Walt, crying with him in the valleys of despair and rejoicing with him on the mountaintop of victory.

And lastly, there is the story of a big God, Who promises never to leave or forsake us. A God Who loved Walt with an everlasting love, and waited patiently for Walt to embrace the man He created him to be.

This is a book that must be read and a story that needs to be heard. I was amazed that through it all, Walt Heyer never lost his honesty, his integrity, his sense of humor and his love of the Lord.

Walt Heyer's story should be featured on Oprah or made into a movie...it is incredible !!!

Walt's life is an amazing testimony to the power and grace of God! I couldn't put this one down.

Trading My Sorrows is a slim book that begins promisingly enough with the author's first nervous visit to sex change surgeon Stanley Biber. In a prologue that has elements of good melodramatic storytelling Walt Heyer paints a picture of intrigue and promises to reveal how he got to that precipitous point in his life. In chapter one Heyer states, "... to know myself as an adult, I need to know who I was as a child and what happened to me during my formative years." Unfortunately no real introspection happens as the author does not subscribe to theories that childhood experience, corporal punishment and family dynamics have any consequences on subsequent development. Jungians would find a great deal here for understanding but Heyer is quick to point out that he no longer plays the "blame game" so we are left with a sketchy account of a willful child who seemed to believe he deserved the severe punishments he got from both parents.

There is precious little literature available on regret after a surgical change of sex making a study of the subject difficult. Most transsexual autobiographies are glowing reports of achieving a harmony of body and spirit, so Heyer's book is a rarity, he not only changed sex surgically, he de-transitioned to live as a man again. Do we get any insight here of how it felt to hormonally change, what feelings or sexual experience he had post surgery, or how he came to grips with the realization that the surgery was a mistake? No. Heyer is in a position to expose some of the superficiality of surgical sex changes by speaking candidly about his experiences and his feelings, but this book does not even attempt to go there. Perhaps Heyer can't do that because he has gone from one addiction to another (including religion) so no real introspection takes place.

Discussion of sex and sexuality is startlingly absent considering the author has had the experience of living in a male body, a hormonally and surgically feminized body, and a finally as a man without male organs. If the author's goal is to convince others considering a surgical change of sex to reconsider, as he states repeatedly on-line and in his YouTube videos, he certainly doesn't offer any details that would have that effect. Instead we are constantly reminded of "God's healing intervention" perhaps causing some readers to wonder why his "God" didn't intervene before Heyer had his genitals removed.

Aside from the author photograph there is one grainy photo of Heyer as a small child. No pictures of Heyer's female persona are included that would help flesh out the sketchy details of his account. His contempt for homosexuals suggests that there is a great deal of unresolved hatred brewing in Heyer despite all his professed Christian charity.