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3.1 out of 5 stars
Train
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17 of 22 people found the following review helpful
on March 5, 2010
Format: DVD
This is not the intelligent horror movie the director wants you to think it is. There isn't a single scarey moment in it. It is gross and it is intense. It is also brutally realistic pointless gore with a very lame plot. The actors all do a decent job considering the lame material they have to work with. The Bulgarian actors are especially good.

The story of all this torture being for medical purposes is extremely thin and makes no sense when you think about it. Do people de penile transplants? Do people recover from eye transplants in a matter of hours? Do you really harvest organs with a circular saw in a filthy non-sterile environment? Heck, do you perform any sophisticated medical procedure on a moving train? Don't think so. So, once you come to that conclusion, the story is just idiotic with some great make up. The train can be a great vehicle for a horror movie, but this totally misses the opportunity to be an intelligent, interesting horror movie.
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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
on February 27, 2010
Format: DVD
Train (2008) is basically "Hostel" and "Turistas" with slightly less gore. The plot is simple. Some American kids end up on an Eastern European train that is in the business of harvesting American organs while the donor is still alive. The kill scenes were decent and included legs removed while conscious, tongue cut out, multiple organ removal scenes while the victims are screaming, spinal cord cut with pruning shears, and burned alive. If you like torture slasher flicks then you might want to give this one a watch...
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format: DVD
Those pesky, eastern-European organ thieves are at it again! This time they're using a TRAIN to lure, drug, and dismember unwary westerners! Thora Birch (THE HOLE, DARK CORNERS) is part of a US wrestling team trapped aboard the locomotive slaughterhouse! Yes, TRAIN is extremely reminiscent of both HOSTEL and TURISTAS, w/ all of the same unnecessary surgery and torturous death. Ms. Birch isn't bad in this otherwise goofy film. I especially liked her transformation into action-hero at the end. Hilarious! The final conflict is a blast!...
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
on June 20, 2010
Format: DVDVerified Purchase
Train takes place when a group of Americans on their way to a Wrestling event miss their original Train and must take THE "TRAIN"! I don't want to give anything away as when I viewed it I had heard nothing so it was a pleasant surprise. I am a huge Horror fan so of course I liked it. It is not great but not bad either. 3-3.5 stars.
Acting: Ok, but hey this is simply a Horror film. Thora Birch was kind of annoying which is a pity as I usually like her.
Gore: Definitely!
Overall this is worth watching and going for a decent price here on Amazon so why not?
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6 of 8 people found the following review helpful
on December 25, 2009
Format: DVD
"Train" starts out as the usual-A bunch of young Americans in an Eastern Bloc republic-foolishly follow their wrestling coach onto a creepy looking train when the coach is attracted to a frostily attractive woman who has the voice of a man and the heart of a scorpion. On board the train all the personnel are creepy and when two porters who are Russian look-a-likes of the redneck mutants from "Wrong Turn", ask the students for their passports, they hand them over and you know there and then that a certain American wrestling team are about to be body-slammed on scalpels, sledgehammers and grappling hooks. The train is actually a rolling organ harvesting depot for patients who have the dough to purchase organs to be transplanted into them. The "patients" are allowed to view and approve the organ they need. One man with a gleam in his eye admires the penis of one of the wrestlers and in a flash of a scalpel a severed penis is dropped into a alcohol filled bottle. One of the other reviewers has remarked that the movie only shows males being mutilated and butchered but I guess that reviewer missed the scenes of a girl dragged around the train by a grappling hook through her neck and ultimately fed to a dog.

Thora Birch the star plays the second female wrestler and she soon kicks slobbering Russian butt and although she is a bit on the slight side to actually believably kick the butt of the slobbering villians especially one brute who is really slobbering-revenge is sweet and satisfying. I kinda enjoyed the movie, not a great movie but a worthy addition to the torture-porn genre and it does deliver on the gore and goo.

My only complaint is I wish they had shown the penis of the "patient" who was anxiously looking for a new one.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
VINE VOICEon May 18, 2010
Format: DVD
I rented this movie under the impression that it was a modern day remake of Terror Train. Instead it is basically Hostel on a train. A wrestling team traveling throughout Russia and eastern Europe miss there train only to find a woman help them onto another train which goes to their destination. Only this train is a traveling organ transplant clinic with some unwilling donors. The movie isn't bad if you like torture horror. It is not as good as Saw or Hostel, but better fare than say Captivity. It just feels like it is late to the party and not very original. If you still love watching Hostel, then by all means you should rent this.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
on January 15, 2010
Format: DVD
I was surprised with this one. Hostel meets Turistas on the Midnight Meat Train!

Brutal violence and gore......awesome recipe for fun! This is one of those movies that had me in the state of mind of "I can't wait to see what happens next"! Kept me glued from start to finish and I was very happy! The ending left something to be desired and could of been better but all in all a great great sick flick!

I'm gonna add this to my horror library...definite buy!
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2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
on January 26, 2010
Format: DVDVerified Purchase
At first I found this film hard to get into, it seemed cliched and quite frankly I am sick to death of the latest film concept that every economically depressed eastern European town has to have a huge nightclub that stays packed even on tuesday mornings at 3AM. Doesn't anybody have to do farmwork? However, once the story arced in the last third it became very much worth it. Seeing Thora Birch get in touch with her inner Camille Keaton (look it up, you'll thank me later) while at the same time doing most of her own stunts had me on the edge of my seat!! Further evidence that direct-to-video is the new grindhouse. A quality film that has nothing to do with its original concept as a remake of Terror Train.
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on February 17, 2015
Format: DVD
Okay, I love me some Thora Birch, and I have been a fan of hers since "Ghost World", but remembering her in that movie and seeing her in this one is such a departure, I had to remind myself that it was the same person. This movie surprised me by being extremely graphic, gory and realistic (the practical special effects looked so real, I squirmed when the bad things started to go down). If you enjoyed Hostel, or any torture porn movie of the last ten years, you will love this. The only thing that ruined the movie is the unrealistic ending. Other than that, I recommend it, just because it is so well done.
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on November 30, 2014
Format: Amazon Instant VideoVerified Purchase
What if we had a torture porn movie...set in a train?!?
Well, you may well have a mess that even the beautiful Thora Birch can't save. Just totally improbable, doesn't make sense, no, no, no. I kept thinking one of the Americans was going to be secretly a bad guy, but it didn't seem so. That at least would have made it interesting. I give it two start instead of one because the first twenty five minute or so were actually pretty good, but after that, just forget it.
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