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Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing Paperback – April 28, 2009


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Frequently Bought Together

Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing + How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful + Not "Just Friends": Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity
Price for all three: $31.89

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Celestial Arts; 5.2.2009 edition (April 28, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1587613344
  • ISBN-13: 978-1587613340
  • Product Dimensions: 0.7 x 6.1 x 8.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #221,338 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Of all the books on infidelity, this is the first that pegs the aftermath, accurately in my view, as a trauma that results in a "stress disorder" with a clear plan for healing. Insightful and helpful. --Harville Hendrix, PhD, author of Getting the Love You Want
 
Dennis Ortman writes with generosity and grace about a very difficult topic. This book is honest, compassionate, and clinically smart; his strong spiritual message makes the subject of infidelity far more hopeful and humane. --Pat Love, EdD, author of The Truth About Love
 
Dr. Ortman is right on in calling an infidelity a trauma. By uniting the wisdom of Western psychology with East-West spiritual traditions, he offers rich, practical guidance and hope. --Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?

From the Publisher

* A psychologist uses post-traumatic stress disorder as a model for the wounded partner to explore rage and emotional pain and learn the secrets of recovery.
* An estimated 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriages.
* Includes spiritual exercises, such as guided meditations and journaling, to aid recovery.

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

It is very helpful and an easy read.
Susan Severson
Some of the other books out there are hard to read and during this time in your life you don't need anything else trying.
HouseManager
The author explains very well the process of pain that happens when an affair happens in a marriage.
T

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 40 people found the following review helpful By informed_shopper on June 16, 2010
Format: Paperback
This book is easy to use to find the information you need quickly. This book gives tools for healing in a format that is easily accessible. Ortman outlines the symptoms of post traumatic stress quickly, and explains them well. I would think that if someone wants the information in this book, then a lengthy read to find helpful information would be tedious.

This book is a long-overdue clarification of what can really happen in response to infidelity, to contrast the previous limited view that the partner of someone who was unfaithful is automatically codependent (implying that they had a sickness and control issues). Ortman, on the other hand provides compassionate insight into understanding the traits that make one more vulnerable to post-traumatic responses so that people feel empowered. His seemingly accurate approach applies the post traumatic stress model to infidelity responses with uncanny clarity. This is a very valuable compendium of information for quick insight and long-term healing.

This book by Ortman offers sensitive and well-aimed tools. It can also serve as a reference for someone experiencing post traumatic stress because of abusive relationships in general (traumatic work relationships, betrayals, abandonment, traumatically betrayed friendships, etc.).
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13 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Moniker Monika on July 16, 2011
Format: Paperback
Enormously helpful. I discovered my husband had a long-term emotional affair which was escalating into a sexual tryst in February 2011. I wish this had been the first book I bought to navigate the painful seas that one has to sail to regain stability. Written with compassion, it can be a touchstone during the days when one wants to slip back into denial, pretending the betrayal and the lies never happened.
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful By NurseJ on January 28, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book has been amazing. Granted I didn't experience a traditional "affair," it completely pin pointed exactly how I was feeling from the betrayed partner's point of view. His model of comparing affairs to PTSD couldn't be a more accurate depiction of how I have felt and he gives several examples and tips to dealing with affairs. It is such a huge relief knowing that the whirlwind of emotions I have experienced is normal. Such a great buy, I would recommend it to anyone who has been through any sort of affair or betrayal by their partner.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By Jess Hayes on January 10, 2014
Format: Paperback
I thought this would be a really helpful book, but instead, I found it very rigid, simplistic, and limited. It's possible that it's just not the right book for me at this point. If you are on the fence, I would do a quick look at your library's collection first to see if they have one available.

Some positive notes I can make are that his trauma metaphor makes sense for infidelity and his model for recovery makes sense. His inclusion of Buddhist and Native American thought adds useful perspectives; by illustrating his points this way, the reader has a higher probability of getting something from the book. More important, in each section he offers exercises to help reduce the trauma, and I've found some of them useful.

Although I recognize with the symptoms of PISD, the help I have found to cope with my partner's affair comes mostly from Impossible Love: Or Why the Heart Must Go Wrong and When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By aggamenic on December 14, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am currently experiencing all this pain from the discovery of infidelity and subsequent departure of my spouse. Reading this book helped me greatly to identify and process my emotions with the questions and examples provided. The trauma was really due to how overwhelming all the emotional reactions were at the discovery and the split up. I was reeling. Reading generally helps to calm me and reading the advice in the book helped me to normalize my feelings. It also helped that different religious beliefs pertaining to prayer, mediation, perspective of the spiritual helped me to see that there are universal ways of identifying emotions, setting them straight, and processing them in bite-sized pieces. I will re-read the book when I need to.
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful By Simon N. Dunn on August 15, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Great book. Well written, helps to make sense of the emotional turmoil that the betrayed finds themselves buried in. Contact Beyond Affairs Network and read! You are not going crazy your feelings are justified and with knowledge and support you can survive and have the potential for growth!!! Remember one thing your old relationship is over but there is the potential for it being better after healing takes place. It will be difficult to believe in the early days of discovery but know that you aren't going crazy and you have a right to feel whatever it is you're feeling.
This book is written with some religious perspective and may not be for everyone but helped me through the painful part of the discovery and recovery! Good luck!
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Susan Severson on April 25, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book helped me a lot. I don't read many self help books, but this one was excellent. It is very helpful and an easy read. You can read this book in 3 days. This book offered good advice and made you think outside the box, review your life decisions, and look at your personality traits. It helped me move forward and make positive changes and decisions in my life. I highly recommend this book if you are struggling with depression and going through a difficult time in your marriage.
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