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Transcending Post-infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD): The Six Stages of Healing Paperback – April 28, 2009
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Dennis Ortman writes with generosity and grace about a very difficult topic. This book is honest, compassionate, and clinically smart; his strong spiritual message makes the subject of infidelity far more hopeful and humane. --Pat Love, EdD, author of The Truth About Love
Dr. Ortman is right on in calling an infidelity a trauma. By uniting the wisdom of Western psychology with East-West spiritual traditions, he offers rich, practical guidance and hope. --Janis Abrahms Spring, PhD, author of After the Affair and How Can I Forgive You?
From the Publisher
* An estimated 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an affair at some point in their marriages.
* Includes spiritual exercises, such as guided meditations and journaling, to aid recovery.
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Top Customer Reviews
This book is a long-overdue clarification of what can really happen in response to infidelity, to contrast the previous limited view that the partner of someone who was unfaithful is automatically codependent (implying that they had a sickness and control issues). Ortman, on the other hand provides compassionate insight into understanding the traits that make one more vulnerable to post-traumatic responses so that people feel empowered. His seemingly accurate approach applies the post traumatic stress model to infidelity responses with uncanny clarity. This is a very valuable compendium of information for quick insight and long-term healing.
This book by Ortman offers sensitive and well-aimed tools. It can also serve as a reference for someone experiencing post traumatic stress because of abusive relationships in general (traumatic work relationships, betrayals, abandonment, traumatically betrayed friendships, etc.).
Some positive notes I can make are that his trauma metaphor makes sense for infidelity and his model for recovery makes sense. His inclusion of Buddhist and Native American thought adds useful perspectives; by illustrating his points this way, the reader has a higher probability of getting something from the book. More important, in each section he offers exercises to help reduce the trauma, and I've found some of them useful.
Although I recognize with the symptoms of PISD, the help I have found to cope with my partner's affair comes mostly from Impossible Love: Or Why the Heart Must Go Wrong and When the Past Is Present: Healing the Emotional Wounds that Sabotage our Relationships.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Makes you zen...but you may need to re-read to remind yourself to keep those intrusive, horrible thoughts in check. Probably should buy "Not Just Friends" too....... Read morePublished 1 month ago by Erin Elizabeth Getman
He has some very good points but goes on and on way too long in my opinion. Well meaning, well educated, and very spiritual.Published 6 months ago by Elizabeth Carter
This is an awesome book for those hurting and recovering from infidelity. It helps to explain and understand the emotions associated with this type of trauma. Read morePublished 7 months ago by Greg
But the book helped me process and understand my feelings, and helped go from a hurricane of anxiety into a place where I could organize and identify what I was feeling and start... Read morePublished 7 months ago by Nick Ponton
great info in the book... amazing to read and to try to understand why this happens.Published 12 months ago by Lori S Morris
I have bought so many books and all of them seem to eventually get around to blaming the partner who has been cheated on. Read morePublished 13 months ago by Cape Pug
This book was head and shoulders above everything else I've read on the subject. I've been through this process and I wish I had discovered this book on day one!Published 17 months ago by Mary Scott