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"We had lost hope. This approach has saved our family. We were spinning our wheels. Everything we tried in the past was making the problems worse. Now our intense child is intensely wonderful...without medications."
"My child was diagnosed with ADHD. I thought it was a death sentence. We couldn't go an hour without an argument or some horrendous incident. Now I know peace and pleasure for the first time in many years."
"This is absolutely the most worthwhile information I have ever learned. My hyperactive child is now my amazing child."
"Our child was in therapy for years. The more she got in touch with her feelings, the more she seemed to take her anger out on us. It's hard to believe, but after applying these strategies for less than a month, my difficult daughter is now a cooperative and pleasant young person."
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The groundwork I lay as far as behavior management and a positive discipline plan is contained wholly in this book. "The Nurtured Heart Approach" is the *only* approach that I felt good about, was easy to apply, was easy to stick with, and - most importantly - *WORKED*. This behavior plan, which includes a great point system at the end of the book-- was applied religiously and with total disregard for any protestations from my son (and daughter -- she's not got all his diagnoses, but it's a darned good plan and applies to an easy kid, too). Anyway, this plan was applied by *everyone* who worked with him -- at school (it's part of his IEP), at home, when visiting relatives, etc. Let me tell ya -- you *do* notice a difference
right away. It might be subtle at first, but today is one year since I started the nurtured heart approach with my son and he's a different kid. Honestly. His behaviors have been stable for 6 months now. We haven't had an outburst (fit of any kind) in two months. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone with a kid who has an ODD, ADHD, or bipolar diagnosis -- or is just plain difficult. My son's oppositional and defiant behaviors are no longer a huge issue. He's as oppositional and defiant as any other kid -- within the "normal" range and THIS is do-able. I can handle everyday, typical defiance -- ODD defiance/noncompliance is a BEAR.
This book and its plan will get you going. I created a short form for the point system that I printed out and used daily to mark off the points earned (bonus points, points for not breaking the rules). At first we used a dry-erase board, but sometimes the rules/bonus items got smudged or wiped off and it became apparent that something easily reproduced was better. I
did point cards on business cards -- printing up a ton of 5 point, 25 point, 50 point, 100 point, 500 point cards. Several months ago we found it necessary to print 1000 and 2500 point cards -- THAT's how well my son is doing.
This plan is the one that worked. We've done 1-2-3 Magic! and several other plans that not only didn't quite cover everything or did not leave a child's self-esteem intact and this is the only plan that I felt 100% good about - in my heart and in my head. AND, this plan covers EVERYTHING. It will work if you follow it and stick with it. And believe me, positive discipline plans are NOT like diets -- not all of them work if you just stick to and with them. Not every positive discipline plan out there works. THIS ONE DOES.
Thank you Howard Glasser!
Our son's official "diagnosis" if you will, is ADHD non-attentive type and Non verbal learning disorder. While fun and likeable (also smart) is still immature for his ten years. He had never once had a best friend in his class (his long-time best friend is in fourth grade). With the confidence and ability to control that he gained through our application of the nurtured heart techniques, he has made not one but fourfriends in the fifth grade class!!!! He's enthusiastic about school, was crushed not to have made "Responsibility Club" this week (homework snafu) - a problem of prosperity. His teachers have embraced the form I adapted from your book. It's come home everyday with feedback, and in fact the highest scores possible, each and every day (they love the form).
Like many parents, I have tried many, many angles to help our son. Nothing has worked in the past. Implementing the approaches in this book has changed our lives.
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