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Trash Trio: Three Screenplays

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What a treat it is to read three screenplays written by the great director, John Waters. "Pink Flamingos" proved that a cult classic could be created on an extremely limited budget. The actors were uniquely talented and the characters they portrayed unforgettable. Now that the demented dialog they spoke is on the printed page, one can savor every word. I particularly enjoyed the pledges of undying love spoken by Raymond and Connie Marble.

CONNIE: "Oh, I love you Raymond! I love you more than anything in the whole world. I love you even more than my own filthiness, more than my hair color. Oh God, I love you more than the sound of bones breaking, the sound of the death rattle..."

RAYMOND: "And I, Connie, also love you more than anything I could imagine - more than my hair color, more than the sound of babies crying, dogs dying, even more than the thought of original sin itself. I am yours, Connie, eternally united to you through an invisible cord of finely woven filth that even God Himself could never, ever break."

"Desperate Living" is a modern day fairy tale in which an obese maid accidentally kills the husband of the neurotic socialite she works for. Rather than face a trial and possible prison time, they escape to a bizarre village in the forest known as Mortville. In the book, John Waters vividly describes the place and its residents. "Everything is made out of trash and garbage, including the houses. Hideous bums, perverts and psychopaths walk the street as...leather-clad Goons patrol the street harassing the pitiful citizens. In the distance we see a fairy-tale castle." Queen Carlotta is a ruthless monarch, living in opulent splendor while her squalid subjects starve. The power of the printed word was such that, immediately after reading that screenplay, I had to watch the movie again.

The real treasure in this trash trio is the screenplay for "Flamingos Forever," the never filmed sequel to "Pink Flamingos." The action takes place fifteen years after the end of the previous story. Babs Johnson, Crackers, Cotton and Edie the Egg Lady return to Baltimore as the Divine leaders of a filth cult. The late Connie Marble's sister, Vera, is married to Wilbur Venninger, a necrophiliac who owns a funeral home. The Venningers kidnap young children and force them to drink, smoke and shoot heroin. Vera claims to be the filthiest person alive, and sees Babs Johnson as the biggest threat to her title. Vera Venninger's rivalry with, seeming victory over and ultimate defeat to Babs comprises the rest of the story. What a shame that most of the actors in the original movie had passed away by the time this was written, and the sequel will never be filmed.

John Waters may very well be one of the most hilarious and entertaining filmakers of our time. His quest for beauty in the trash heaps can always put a smile on your face. Some folks may find themselves becoming offended by Waters' offbeat sense of humor, but it's all in good(or bad) taste. The screenplays for two of his most notorious films, "Pink Flamingos" and "Desperate Living", are at last available for a fun read. You can recapture some of his terrific dialogue and grasp a tighter sense on the humor the he tries to push. The real treat here is the screenplay for the unmade sequel to "Pink Flamingos" called "Flamingos Forever". Unfortunately, this will never be made because the majority of the first film's stars have now passed on and Waters' feels those shoes could never be filled by anyone else. Don't be thrown off by it's title, "Trash Trio" is definately a terrific excursion into bad taste.

Have you and your friends ever thought about putting on a little-theatre production of "Pink Flamingos"? What about you and the cousins doing "Desperate Living" at the next family reunion?

If that truly is your thing, this book will be a Godsend, for it contains every wonderfully demented, perverse line in both of those '70s trash classics, but that's not even the best of it!

The real gem here is the screenplay for the sadly unproduced "Pink Flamingos" sequel, "Flamingos Forever".

Had Edith Massey not passed away, and had Divine been game and not so wrapped up in his singing "career", "Flamingos Forever" would have been the sequel to end all sequels, and the film that bridged "Polyester" and "Hairspray".

Alas, it was not to be. But now you can read for yourself and imagine the fabulous Mink Stole, Cookie Mueller, Jean Hill and the other Dreamlanders in what has got to be one of the most sorrowful missed opportunities of cinema.

If you loved all of John Waters other films, then this is a must-have. But I must warn you, at the end you'll be sobbing for what could have been, and what should have been.

There are lots of pics throughout including a proof sheet of the infamous chicken f*** scene featuring Crackers and Cookie in the shed.

Flamingos Forever!

John Waters is a great artist, and I mean artist, because he's created things no one else had, and probably never would!!!! this book also gives un an insite on the sequal to a cult hit PINK FLAMINGOS, and while not has good as FLAMINGOS, it's still funnier than most, and it's obvious he wrote some parts far MS.HILL, who was one of the stars of DESPRATE LIVING, also a script in this GREAT BOOK. I beg anybody who likes any type of film, no matter what it may be to get this book, because you'll never ever look at ANY movie the same!!!!

Reading these screenplays was more fun than watching the movies, as I could picture the filth in a more vivid way than is possible to portray on Waters' low budget. The happenings in these plays are so utterly outrageous the sheer force of their sleazyness is more overwhelming than "art". What perverse genius! I am reduced to babblesome blandness beside it. I love it more than my own haircolor, the sound of dogs dying & of babies crying--more than my own filthyness even. Gush gush gush gush gush gush gush...

Waters's early work is hilarious, and the book is a surprisingly good read despite the egregious absence of Waters's best flick, "Female Trouble."