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Trillionaire Next Door: The Greedy Investor's Guide to Day Trading Hardcover – May 16, 2000


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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It's hard to dislike any book that's dedicated to OprahAin the blatant hope that she will endorse it on her television showAthen blithely dismisses $9 billion as "chump change." Borowitz, a magazine writer whose humorous satires have appeared in the New Yorker and the New York Times, has captured the style that permeates just about every get-rich-quick book: a knowing tone coupled with ridiculous mathematical abstractions. "Five years ago, no one traded stocks online. Today, over one quarter of all investors are trading electronically. Do the math; at this rate, in 20 years, there will be more day traders in the United States than people." As in all these books, Borowitz presents "the essential 10 rules" of becoming a trillionaire, each of which is followed by a "real quote" from a day trader. Rule number seven is typical: "Control your emotions." The quote: "I try not to take this business seriously, but some of my stocks are really out to get me." Essentially a long magazine piece padded with graphics (such as an asset-allocation pie chart divided into segments marked "Day Trading," "Lotto" and "Poking Around on the Beach with a Metal Detector"), this is nonetheless an entertaining diversion.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"A funny little book savaging the nation's obsession with making easy money in the market." -- --New York Post

"Day trading has been glorified and vilified, and now it's been properly satirized." -- --Online Investor

"If The Trillionaire Next Door were a stock, I'd buy it, sell it, buy it, sell it, and buy it again--it's that good!" -- Stacy Gellman, day trader

"Wall Street's version of humorist Dave Barry." -- Newsweek
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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 103 pages
  • Publisher: HarperBusiness; 1st edition (May 16, 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0066620767
  • ISBN-13: 978-0066620763
  • Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.6 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,140,906 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Andy Borowitz is a New York Times bestselling author and comedian who created the satirical column The Borowitz Report, which was acquired by The New Yorker in 2012 and has millions of readers around the world. He is the first-ever winner of the National Press Club's humor award, a two-time finalist for the Thurber Prize for American Humor, and a two-time host of the National Book Awards. He has been called a "Swiftian satirist" (The Wall Street Journal), "America's satire king" (The Daily Beast), "the funniest human on Twitter" (The New York Times) and "one of the funniest people in America" (CBS News Sunday Morning). His Kindle Single, "An Unexpected Twist," was a number one bestseller and Amazon's Best Kindle Single of 2012.

Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful By Lynn Snowden Picket on May 24, 2000
Format: Hardcover
I've always admired Andy Borowitz's writing in The New Yorker, but I wondered how funny could Andy be about the stock market? Trust me, it's hilarious. Timely, witty and very fresh -- it's the kind of book that makes you want to read parts of it aloud to your friends, even if they're really, really busy and beg you not to. This is the perfect summer read -- and it would make a great Father's Day gift.
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15 of 16 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 1, 2000
Format: Hardcover
The best investment advice you can get is to buy this book and read it instead of worrying about all those 16-year-olds whose stock options are worth more than the GNP of Portugal. It's hard to be funnier than the real traders, with their theories based on random walks, dartboards, hemlines, and the World Series, and it's even harder to be funnier than watching people lose money on flyer stocks with cute names like boo.com and Crazy Eddie, but this book makes it and then some, with completely hilarious discussions of making a stock go up by yelling at the screen, getting good investment advice (and a Big Gulp) at the 7-11, finding the right asset allocation model (don't forget the importance of lotto and combing the beach with a metal detector), and the crucial role of pizza in a day-trader's diet. The comparison of Adam Smith and Willow Bay, the description of Warren Buffet, "the myth of knowing what a company does," and some really wonderful graphs and charts are not only wildly funny, but .... amazingly insightful. This book is right on the money.
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful By Oavde on August 6, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This is so very, very, very funny.
There is not much I can add to the other reviews except this: maybe it won't make you laugh (one reviewer hated it) but it probably will, it is very witty, if you trade at all you will know what it is talking about.
This book is GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH !!!
Laughter is good, especially laughing at yourself in trading ... trading is serious business, but you don't have to take it seriously, it is better to keep lighthearted and clear headed. This book will make you laugh at yourself, and may help you make better decisions instead of getting caught up in spite, anger, frustration, aggravation. For that reason it is very valuable.
You won't find trading strategies or anything like that in it though, it is a comedy book.
I think it would make a great present for anyone who trades, I know that if someone bought it for me as a present I would be exceptionally pleased, there are hundreds of uncontrollable laughs in this book, and that is good for your heart.
I realise it is quite pricey, but I've paid more to see movies that weren't nearly as funny as this little gem.
Uh-oh, market's closing, gotta go......
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9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 27, 2000
Format: Hardcover
If you want to make someone happy, give them this book. The distilled yet rapid-fire wisdom Borowitz offers will be handed down for generations to come: How to trade in your sleep, how to understand the insider lingo that fancy Wall St. people use to exclude regular people, how to use a dartboard to pick stocks, why it's best not to know what the companies you invest in actually do....I've made gifts of this book to financiers and regular human beings and they all find it sidesplitting. Given the direction the market seems to be going, we all need a good laugh, and this is it. The book comes with upgrades: I logged onto [their] site and have been delighted to get breaking news bulletins about Greenspan's magic coin, Bill Gates' gift of a clock radio to the Department of Justice, etc.
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14 of 16 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 13, 2000
Format: Hardcover
When one of my friends told me that this was the funniest book he'd ever read, I was skeptical, but I bought it anyway. When I kept my wife up half the night as I read the book in bed, laughing like a fiend, I had to admit he was right. Andy Borowitz, a laugh-out-loud writer whose work I'd seen in The New Yorker, has taken as his target our current obsession with money, the stock market, and instant wealth -- and he's hit a satirical bullseye. From the hysterical charts (How Day Trading Works: Buy Stock--Visit Sex Sites--Sell Stock--Become Trillionaire) to the ludicrous "Hot Stock Tips" (...a personal favorite of mine) to the "first person" accounts of Mountain Dew-swigging, Maria Bartiromo-obsessed, bathrobe-clad daytraders, Borowitz doesn't take any prisoners in this book. For the record, my favorite humor writers are Steve Martin, Dave Barry, and David Sedaris. After reading this screamingly funny book, you'd have to put Andy Borowitz up there, too.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Mike Herrington on May 26, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This book is really hilarious. Let me tell you the funniest jokes in it: Page 1: lines 3, 11, and 47; Page 2: lines 1, 9, and 33; Page 3: lines 14, 27, 39... oh hell, just buy your own copy.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By Patricia A. Marx on May 29, 2000
Format: Hardcover
This book did not make me rich but it really made me laugh! Borowitz manages to write more hilarious jokes per page than any writer I know of. I thoroughly enjoyed the book. (I'd rather be rich, though)
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 26, 2000
Format: Hardcover
I'm laughing too hard to write more than a few lines... Borowitz is killing me... captures the spirit of this stock-market-obsessed age, then tortures it a bit... gotta go now -- my ribs are cracking...
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