Customer Reviews

Troll/Troll 2

5 star:		(51)
4 star:		(9)
3 star:		(11)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

I want to thank the reviewers here who steered me to TROLL 2! I thought that the enthusiasm about its hilarious awfulness had to be exaggerated, but based on the general consensus that this is one you have to see to believe, I risked $[...] and took a chance.

Wow!

Oh, what I also would give to hear a commentary track by the director and cast! Their brains should be put in glass jars and displayed in a medical museum somewhere upon their deaths! This is one for the ages. If you haven't seen it, remember the way RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK starts off on a high of adventure with that cave escape and then keeps trying to top it? Well, TROLL 2 starts out atop the Mt. Everest of stupidity and then miraculously keeps upping the stakes. It's the zenith of moron creativity! When you're holding your sides for the tenth time from laughing and think to yourself the "actors" can't possibly deliver another so-called line of dialogue in a way that's any more disjointedly absurd yet painfully sincere to top the last one, THEY DO IT! Talk about alternative reality! The CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI looks like an episode of THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW next to this. Just a small sampling of my favorite high points:

Grandpa Seth's unintentional and uncanny ability to sound - whenever he tries to pass on an eerie warning to his grandson - like a pervert!
Teenage Holly's scary-hip dance moves (for wooden acting she makes Brooke Shields in THE BLUE LAGOON look like a piker)!
The classic early conversation between the father and mother in which they discuss why and how they are trading houses with a strange farm family they don't know (David Mamet, eat your heart out)!
The subtle subtext choice of the actress playing the mother to choose to read all her lines with a "damnit-I-forgot-to-take-my-anti-depressant-medication-again-today" delivery.
The wacky pack of Holly's boyfriend and his friends - all of whom seem to have the brains of emotionally immature six-year-olds transplanted into their sixteen-year-old bodies (be sure to look for the hilarious sharing-the-same-bed quick cut-away shot too)!
The family's ingeniously logical plan to starve themselves for days on end to punish young Joshua for peeing on their dinner in order to save their lives (don't ask)!
The line that's right up there with "Frankly my dear I don't give a damn" and "Louie, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship" . . . "You're a genius, big sister!"

As another reviewer said, a thousand reviews can't begin to scratch the surface as to how side-splittingly bad this movie is. I say the best joke we as a planet could ever play is, the next deep-space probe we send out a la Voyager to announce our existence, we only include a copy of TROLL 2 as an example of what human beings and life on earth are really like!

***If you love TROLL 2, you must get Best Worst Movie, the documentary by Michael Stephenson! If you thought WAITING FOR GUFFMAN was pure fiction, you're wrong. This is a warm-hearted and funny look at what went into this classic. If you wondered who these people were/are, it gives you the answers (Connie McFarland grew up to be hot; George Hardy seems like a really nice guy; Claudio Fragasso is still doggedly and wonderfully deluded; Michael Stephenson turned out to be a legit filmmaker, etc). Funny, uplifting, ridiculous, sad and touching. Five stars!***

This cinematic duo makes for great entertainment for different reasons. "Troll", made in 1986, is a story of troll infestation in an urban apartment building revolving around a family who has just moved in. This is a fun, yet campy, little movie with a couple of surprises that, while not totally unexpected, are still generally well done. The supporting cast in this film is wonderful, with special mentions going to Sonny Bono playing a hip swinging single (he has wonderful dialogue), Julia Louis-Dreyfus in an early role, and Gary Sandy (Andy Travis from "WKRP") as an amusing former Marine. The film is a typical mid-eighties PG-13 shocker, with no real gore, but a little excess grossness. Overall, for its genre, a good flick and fun to watch.

The real treasure of the DVD, though, is, by far, "Troll 2", which actually does not involve trolls, but goblins. This movie is easily the worst sequel in memory. It has an awful, incoherent script, completely moronic `plot', terrible acting, and characters actually made of cliches. This film is a treasure, and is like watching the modern invocation of Ed Wood, the muse of bad movies. Special bonus points for the secret weapon employed against the goblins! Bad movie lovers do not miss this one!

Four stars overall: "Troll" gets three stars for being an average scary movie; "Troll 2" easily earns five stars for incredible stupidity on every level. Don't miss it!

John Carl Buechler's Troll 2 may be one of the finest movies of the early 90's. Ah who are we kidding, it's one of the finest movies EVER!

The film starts out with a family trading houses with another random family that they have never met but have agreed to trade houses with. This is, of course, a completely believable premise, as people in real life do this all the time. At least they do where I come from!

The antagonists of the movie are goblins, and why shouldn't they be? Everyone knows when you buy a movie named Troll 2 you don't actually expect to see any TROLLS or anything. Anyway, these goblins (and believe me, you wouldn't want to run into one of these nasty little buggers in a dark alley, the makeup/special effects team really went all out here) are turning the quiet redneck town of Nilbog (incase you didn't notice, that spells GOBLIN backwards - that is an almost infinitely clever name for a town overrun by goblins!!! John Carl Buechler, you are truly a GENIUS!!!) into a race of human/plant hybrids so they can eat them, because all goblins are of course vegetarians. It makes perfect sense!

The star of the movie, that kid from Neverending Story, must save his family along with some help from his beloved, dead Grandpa Seth and a bologna sandwich. It's a classic struggle of good vs. evil here folks!

If all this isn't enough to convince you to run out and buy at least 5 copies of this piece of cinematic history, there's also a cameo appearance of Sonny Bono. I can' t think of any reason why a rational, sane person wouldn't want to own this!

If you've never seen Troll 2, buy it today! Everyone should experience this film, as it is definitely one of the crowning achievements of Western Civilization.

This DVD is one of those double feature presentations that studios use to bundle together a couple of clunkers in order to make a fast buck. "Troll" is the story of the Potter family and the wacky adventures they experience when they move into a new apartment building. Harry Potter and his wife Anne (played by a spacey Michael Moriarty and Shelley Hack, respectively), along with their two children Wendy and Harry soon discover an odd assortment of characters living in the building, including Sonny Bono as a wild swinger with an extreme dislike for children, Gary Sandy (Andy Travis from "WKRP"!) as a macho ex-marine with a suspicion for book lovers and liberals, and June Lockhart as a mysterious lady living on the top floor of the building. Brad Hall and Julia Louis-Dreyfus, recovering from their disastrous stint on "Saturday Night Live," turn up as a smoochy young couple. It isn't too long before Wendy Potter discovers a troll in the basement of the apartment building, and from that point forward "Troll" is a wild, wacky, and enormously cheesy excursion into fantasyland. It turns out that the troll is trying to recreate a fairy dimension within the confines of the building in order to start a war against humanity. Oh, the madcap wackiness of "Troll"! The scenes with Julia Louis-Dreyfus frolicking with the troll should provide all the convincing you'll need to watch this objet d'art.

The real treasure on this disc is the inclusion of "Troll 2." I first saw this movie on video back in 1998 or 1999, and my enthusiasm for the film reached a fever pitch when I learned it would soon arrive on DVD. B movie fans should note that none other than trash director Joe D'Amato directed this tremendously terrible film. "Troll 2" is so bad in EVERY aspect that it ranks as the greatest "worst" movie ever made. People will tell you there are plenty of other films worse than this one, but believe me when I tell you that D'Amato's efforts here trump every other contender. The script, the effects, the acting, the editing; everything is so marvelously, deliriously, deliciously awful that this movie sends me into paroxysms of joy every time I watch it. Viewing "Troll 2" makes you doubt your very conceptions of what a bad film means: did the people who made this film deliberately set out to create a nightmare of these proportions, or was it merely accidental? We'll never know, but every minute of this movie is sheer delight for lovers of yuck cinema. Goodness, where do I start? Well, "Troll 2" tells the story about a family moving to the village of Nilbog where they encounter a town full of goblins (no trolls here, sorry) led by a wacky queen who wishes to turn the visitors into goblin food. That's the plot in a nutshell, and I won't spend more time on it because I really want to discuss other aspects of the film.

You haven't lived until you have seen the people playing the characters in this movie. First, the hero of the film is Joshua, performed with screeching abrasiveness by Michael Stephenson. Accompanying Joshua to Nilbog is his dull father Michael, his hilariously wacked out Mom Diana, older sister Holly, her boyfriend Elliot, and the ghost of his grandpa Seth. Folks, you just can't imagine how bad the acting is here! The Mom speaks sentences that make little sense because the emphasis of the words is completely wrong. Holly, played by Connie McFarland, deserves a special place in our hearts with her performance. That dance she does in front of the mirror! Her lines of dialogue delivered with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer! Grandpa Seth is not only a scream; he keeps flashing a sinister smile throughout the film that should creep anyone out. The townspeople of Nilbog also deserve a special mention, especially the guy playing Sheriff Gene Freak (!). His best line: "Otherwise, we'll be forced to kill you violently!" I'm not even going to delve into the weird relationship between Elliot and his friends, or the outrageously over the top performance of Deborah Reed as the Queen of the Goblins. A thousand reviews would fail to convey the depths of badness "Troll 2" plumbs. You need to see it to believe it.

The production values here are cosmically appalling. D'Amato regular Laura Gemser did the costume work for this film, and what a job she did. The goblins wear potato sacks and plastic masks that fit so loosely around the actors' heads that you can often see bare skin around the edges. In many scenes of the film, the editing is so poor that people look in the opposite direction of the person they talk to or react to things in completely unnatural ways. On one occasion, the Dad tells the family that there are no farmers on the streets of Nilbog because they are asleep for the evening, and it is broad daylight when he says it. By the way, did anyone else notice Joshua's skateboard magically reappears in his bedroom towards the end of the film? Yep, Ed Wood quality editing here, folks. Who knew we would see such an overtly atrocious picture as late as 1991?

"Troll 2" is pure magic and truly deserving of a five star ranking. I absolutely adore MGM for releasing this on DVD with such a good transfer along with a "Troll 2" trailer. What this movie really needs is a commentary track with the actors who played Joshua, Holly, Diana, Michael, Elliot, and Grandpa Seth. Hearing what these guys would say about the film would be a dream come true for this B movie fan, and I would have paid double the price if such a commentary came with the DVD.

After receiving my copy of this DVD in the mail, I feel compelled to tell others about it. It would really be a shame to miss out on this one.

Troll is a movie from my childhood. It is decent for a fantasy/sci-fi type of movie. For nostalgia's sake, it is great. When I was six, it was scary, now.. not so much. Still the talking mushroom is cool.

The real treat on this DVD is Troll 2.

It is highly possible that Troll 2 beats "Plan 9" as the absolute worst movie ever made. EVER. The acting made me laugh. So did the costumes, the make-up, the special effects, the editing, the plot, and especially, the dialogue. I was rolling on the floor thanks to the terrible job a lot of people did on this picture. It has nothing to do with the first film, and, in fact, I do not believe that the word "troll" is used at all during this movie. If i didn't know otherwise, I'd think someone just got a hold of the costume from the first movie and made a student film on the budget afforded by their mother's credit card. If anyone has seen a worse movie overall, please contact me. Buy this film to see the most terrible production of all time.

Why 3 stars? I don't know. This movie is so bad, it came around full circle. Think "Rocky Horror," then, take away all the talent, charm, originality, and budget.

while it is a treat to have 2 movies for the price of one, Troll seems more like a freebie to the dvd. it's all about Troll 2.

if you're as easily amused as i am by bad acting, a horrible plot, and just plain stupid moviemaking, this is the movie for YOU. it gets better (and dumber) every time you watch it.

Troll's plot actually revolves around trolls. Troll 2 revolves around the Waites family (which includes Dad, Mom, big sister Holly, little brother Joshua, and the loveable ghost of the recently-deceased Grandpa Seth) and their encounter with the goblins of Nilbog!

yes, you read it right. goblins. not trolls.

essentially, it comes down to a fight between the Waites and the Nilbog Goblins (who turn people into plants, because we all know goblins are vegetarians), ending with an all-out ridiculous, idiotic battle between Good and Evil.

sure, Troll is worth a watch, because we all know Sonny Bono and that kid from Neverending Story are in high demand, but you'd be getting your moneys worth with just Troll 2. Troll should be a bonus feature, as it will never live up to the stupidity of Troll 2.

Something indefinable has moved me to write this review. I don't understand and can't explain what this movie has done and is still doing to me. Words cannot convey this sense of foreboding I feel in the pit of my stomach. I guess I should give you some background as to what I'm rambling about. I purchased Troll/Troll 2 for the sole purpose of owning Troll 1. I had no idea what Troll 2 was or what it would eventually do to me. You see, I had seen Troll 1 when I was around 5-7 years old and had relatively fond memories of it, so when I saw the DVD for sale I snatched it up. The strangest sensation overtook me then. A cross between nervousness and uneasy trepidation, which for those that don't know, feels like knots and razors in your stomach while your skin breaks into a cold sweat. The feeling soon passed and I quickly forgot about it. Later that day I watched Troll 1 expecting to relive a bit of my childhood. Well, the saying "you can never go home" held true for me. I found Troll 1 to be an unforgettably, forgettable movie if that makes any sense, completely disposable and not worth mentioning beyond this point. I watched Troll 2 the next day. My expectations were low, but I figured I might as well give the second movie a chance. My life would be infinitely better had I washed my hands of the whole affair and turned my attention towards other pursuits, or maybe not. Who's to say? Where would the world be if there had been no Bubonic Plague or if the members of the Beatles had never formed a band? My soul cries out for a "what could have been" but without the Bubonic plague mightn't the world be burdened by overpopulation and pollution? Would we have been able produce someone whose intellect would dwarf Einstein's? If the Beatles had never formed would some other band have been able to garner the recognition they deserved in the void left by the Beatles or would they create what in hindsight would be considered puerile drivel? These are pointless questions that can never be answered. Time to get down to brass tacks. I cannot stop watching Troll 2. I have alienated friends and family members. I have become an outcast in my neighborhood and have been shunned by co-workers. What is worse, as each day passes I find it harder to disassociate myself from this film. My waking thoughts are centered around it. My being has become enmeshed with its life force, and make no mistake it is alive. It grows stronger with each viewing. There is no turning back. I have gotten to the point where I feel little remorse showing this film to others, addicting them, changing them, tailoring them, so that they may spread the Gospel that is Troll 2. I'm slowly coming to the realization that this is not just weird gibberish that I'm spouting off, it's not cathartic, and it does not ease my burden or put the last shreds of my guilty conscience to rest. Yes...yes. I have become drunk off the wine of revelation and I understand now, I finally see. I do not fear the outcome. I feel the re-assuring hand on my shoulder. Please watch Troll 2, you will be surprised at what gifts it has to offer you.

MGM has done an admirable job for this new Double Feature DVD. It contains both Troll and Troll 2, both presented in Animorphic Widescreen with their original theatrical trailers. The picture and sound are as good as we're ever going to see these two films on DVD. I applaud MGM for giving good treatment to little known films such as these. They could have just as easily slapped on Full-Frame transfers and no Trailers. Plus, MGM offers both movies for a very affordable price. Even if you hate one of the Troll movies, this DVD is still very worthwhile to buy for the one you do like.

TROLL was released in the mid-1980's when I was still a kid growing up. One of the earlier films from Charles Band and Empire Pictures, predating the later Full Moon pictures. I first saw TROLL on HBO, and for some reason thought it was a great fantasy/horror film. Sure it was low budget, but very memorable even to this day. It features an early acting performance from Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and also a very funny appearance by Sonny Bono.

TROLL 2 I had the pleasure of first viewing on video in the early 1990's when it was released. It really has nothing at all to do with the first TROLL movie as far as the plot goes and the production team. This is not a bad thing since TROLL 2 has an offbeat, cultish originality which is rarely seen in very many movies anymore. TROLL 2 was obviously a very low budget production and the acting is often horrible, but therein lies it's charm. It is one of those movies that is so bad it's good. Some people will love it and others will hate it. I personally think it's a classic cheesy movie!

three words: Oh My Goooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddddddddd .

troll 2 is an incredible, unintentional masterpiece, beginning to end.

from joshua's mother insisting "joshua, sing that song i like so much" "mom, do i have to?" "yes" "row, row, row your boat..."

to businessman father who takes a long phone call explaining in detail to his firm, "nilbog, yeah, n-i-l-b-o-g, yeah, i'll be back in a month" THE NIGHT BEFORE VACATION and then, upon return home less than a week later, insists that he must check up on the office instead of staying with his almost-eaten, traumatized family

to the incredibly bad actress who plays joshua's sister holly & her bizarre eighties dance before reciting a speech to her boyfriend

to dead grandpa seth, who makes bologna sandwiches and fire extinguishers appear out of nowhere but doesn't bother to fend off the malevolent creatures of the night himself

to the goblins & their ability to sprout protective gloves the instant they're set on fire

to sweet little joshua himself: "nilbog! it's goblin spelled backward! this is their keeeengdom!"

this movie is hysterical comic gold. asthma attacks abound.

Once upon a time, I fancied that I knew a little something about bad movies.

Well, in fact I was getting rather vain about it. I turned up my nose at people who think "Showgirls" or "Gigli" are great anti-movies, when in fact they are only about 15 percent worse than the usual Hollywood dreck. Almost as bad were those who took the well-trod path of "Plan 9" or "Hitler's Brain", which, while quite deliciously bad in spots, are, in the final analysis, little more than amateurish relics of a bygone era.

No, while those flicks are, in their own way, modestly amusing, they were not for me: my palate was more refined; my bad taste was just a bit better than that of the common herd. I was quite the anti-connoisseur (or so I thought). My preference was for the finely aged Italian imitation cheese of the seventies and eighties. Movies such as "The New Barbarians" and "Star Crash" topped my list, although I could also dip my beak with pleasure into such anti-musical masterpieces as "The Apple" or "Can't Stop the Music" on occasion, or enjoy the modern anti-comedy stylings of a Tom Green in "Freddy Got Fingered", or even the classic anti-blockbuster "Battlefield Earth".

I was a fool. Until I saw "Troll 2", I knew nothing at all about what a bad movie could truly be.

All my former preconceptions: gone. All of what I took to be my knowledge: vanished without a trace.

I know that my view of film has changed forever. And I still don't know how to deal with it. For now, I have walled off "Troll 2" in a special part of my mind. This movie simply does not seem possible; it just does not compute. I place it as an anamoly, as a "special case", so that I can continue to live in my own little world, continue to have my own little list of favorites, my own little pet theories about what makes a great anti-movie.

But some day, I will have to look this green-blooded, rubbery goblin mask square in its face, and deal with what "Troll 2" has done to me, has done to us all.

And so will you.

Troll 2 is the holy grail of bad movies. It will never be topped. At least once in your life, you must stand in the light that it casts upon human consciousness. And you, too, will never be the same again.