Customer Reviews

Troll 2 [VHS]

5 star:		(46)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(18)

 

 

I've studied this film over the last couple of months and this is my analysis of Troll 2. I would like to begin my review by saying that watching this movie will be like taking a hot fork and shoving it in your eye socket for some people, whereas for others it will be the funniest F'n thing you've ever seen.

Before I get into the meat of the story or as I like to call it a double decker bologna sandwich...Troll 2 has nothing to do with trolls (just goblins), Troll 2 also has absolutely nothing to do with Troll 1. AHA but that's not all!!!! The guy who made the cover for Troll 2 didn't see Troll 1 or Troll 2!!!! The original cover of Troll 2 has a werewolf (Not in Troll 1 or Troll 2) chasing a little boy who doesn't even appear in either of the Troll movies! If that doesn't make you want to take your head and smash it against concrete, I don't know what does.

I will now begin with the double decker bologna sandwich part of my analysis. The film begins with Grandpa Seth talking to his grandson Joshua. Joshua is constipated throughout the film and grandpa is dead. You know the kind of dead where you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back and then you give your 12 year old grandson a Molotov cocktail and then you say you will be gone forever and then you come back...that kind of dead. He tells that old story of how Peter Pan ran through the woods one day, ate green goup, and turned into a MLANT. The mother, played by Margo Prey (AKA greatest actress ever) assures Joshua that it was just a dream and goes onto explain that Grandpa's death was, "Very difficult for your father, for Holly, and for me his daughter." You may want to give that quote a second reading... The daughter is also brilliant in this picture. The chemistry between her and her boyfriend Elliott is sizzling!!! Ouch very hot! So sizzling that Elliott and his friends couldn't be more gay! Holly explains, "You take them to bed with you too (referring to Elliott's guy friends that are hanging out the window) and I don't believe in group sex". What??? Holly then explains that her parents don't like Elliott (that he is a good for nothing) and that they are going on vacation for a month. Ellliott then asks, "Is it true you're going on vacation tomorrow?" "Yes!" "I'll come with you?" "OK I'll tell my father that you're coming with us tomorrow" Believe me the movie keeps going...Joshua must do it he must do it! He must pee on everyone's food before they eat corn with green paste on it. Oh my god! Or how about "You're a genius big Sister!" Watch for the mother staring directly into the camera and yelling, "Oh dear god what can we do!" So they have this family exchange and they go to Nilbog and oh my god!

This movie is a pure masterpiece. It's so bad it's fantastic! I recommend everyone to give it one viewing just so you can say you've survived it's stupidity. Make sure you watch it with friends though...DO NOT watch this movie alone or you will try to figure it out. This movie cannot be understood! If you think this movie is good in the way that "Braveheart" or "Pulp Fiction" is good you should seriously get your head examined. I will leave you with this: Mother says "Elliott what are you doing here?" Daughter says "Elliott is part of the family now!" Mom puts her hand on Elliott's face, "Oh Elliott!"

Once in a great while, a movie comes along that defies description; a masterly-crafted piece of cinema that is so awe-inspiring that words such as "amazing" or "majestic" fail to do it justice. Troll 2 is one of these movies, and the effect it has had on my life is so profound that it is difficult to put into words. Without revealing too much of the movie, let me just state that Troll 2's plot was a stroke of genius, and offers something for every type of movie-goer. Horror fans will rejoice with delight when they first witness Nilbog's resident goblins, which are a tour de force of special effects coupled with extremely realistic-looking makeup and potato sacks. Drama enthusiasts will be riveted by the phenomenal performances of the various actors and actresses, all under the direction of the highly-underrated Drago Floyd. Comedy devotees looking for a dose of witty and sophisticated humor need look no further, as the hilarious antics of Elliot and his gang keep the laughs coming. On top of all this, the storyline and accompanying musical score will keep you on the edge of your seat. Will the unfortunate protagonists devour the toxic substances labeled by the Nilbog townsfolk as "food," or will Joshua and his family be forced to endure a bout of the dreaded "hunger pains?" Can an ear of corn possibly be used as a seductive tool? Is everyone in Nilbog actually a goblin in disguise, or are they just misguided souls held captive under the authoritarian dictatorship of Sheriff Gene Freak? Finally, what ghostly entity repeatedly buttons and unbuttons the father's shirt, and is this scene used to foreshadow the appearance of the deceased Grandpa Seth? Many more questions will arise during your first viewing of Troll 2, and you will probably have to watch it multiple times before the whole plot starts to fit together. Troll 2 contains a plethora of superb acting talent, suspenseful moments, and some truly original special effects, yet remains an undiscovered gem that will never receive the artistic and influential credit it deserves. The morphing scene alone, which involves one of Elliot's boys tranforming into a tree, is worthy of an Oscar. I am extremely happy to be a part of the whole "Troll 2 Experience," as it is now referred to, and can honestly say that this movie has changed my view of society, relationships, and life in general. Find this movie, whatever it takes, and prepare yourself for a life-altering experience.

Since the 1950s the US government has covered up the truth about a little town called Nilbog. Gene Freak was a young up and coming scientist with a covert government operation that cross-breeds plans and humans to "further medical advances." Somehow Gene got involved in the occult and that is where the horror started. A superior race of burlap wearing goblins was created instead. For decades the Nilbog family exchange program brought families from the country to the quiet town of Nilbog for a little "relaxation." None of those families were heard from again. Many concluded that the peaceful existence of Nilbog enticed families to stay there, however a few thought it was actually much more depraved than that. There were always whispers that these families became food. Fast forward to 1990. Grandpa Seth, although dead, was one of those truth-seekers who wanted to expose Nilbog for what it is. His desire to get the truth about Nilbog, to the citizens of the world, was so strong that he was able to come back from the dead to warn his grandson, Joshua. Joshua learns the truth and must spread the word to save his family. When his family arrives at The Presents house(the family they exchanged with) there are delicious food items left out, but there is something very sinister about the food. It is green, which usually means it is quite healthy, but in this case if you eat it, you turn into a plant, and the goblins then eat you. Joshua's sister and mother(played by Sissy Spacek I think) don't believe Joshua's tales about the goblins or the food, so(after an apparition of Grandpa Seth giving advice and stopping time)Joshua does what so many of us have done at a family gathering: he urinates on the food. For this he is admonished by his dad(a strong performance by Craig T Nelson of "Coach" fame) who says, "You can't ... on hospitality. I won't allow it." Meanwhile, his sister's boyfriend and his very close friends are in town looking to score with some Nilbog hotties, are oblivious to what evil fate awaits them. Sheriff Gene Freak offers one of them a delicious green glass of milk and another is seduced by a corn on the cob wearing beauty.Unfortunately, like many visitors to Nilbog they "bite off more than they can chew." This movie is so shocking, so real and so courageous that it is a must see. The special-effects(especially the lightning) make "Jurassic Park" look like "Land of The Lost." The performances are delicious: Gene Freak and the Drugstore Owner were both nominated for Best Actor at the Academy awards. The preacher won best supporting actor in a movie about Goblins. Unfortunately, the US government does not want the truth about Sheriff Gene Freak, nor Nilbog, to be exposed. This is the reason it took me 8 phone calls to 8 different video stores to finally track this movie down. Has anyone else found it curious that these "actors" were never seen from again? Many think these were not actors at all, and this is just a documentary. I called amnesty international and they "claim" to know nothing about Nilbog, even when I informed them that it's Goblin speeled backwards. I think it is all one big cover-up. Please see this movie and learn the truth. Sheriff Gene Freak must be stopped at all costs.

It's a rare miracle for this many talentless people to all come together and agree on what is indisputably the worst vision in Hollywood history. From the atrocious script to the awful acting to the random directorial close-ups, Troll 2 fails in every artistic manner possible. It is not just kinda bad, or bad in parts, or misunderstood; it is literally a 90 minute train wreck that only gets worse and worse as it goes along. Luckily, that is exactly what makes it a cult classic. Cram packed with memorably dreadful dialogue and laugh out loud characters, you can't help but enjoy yourself through the whole thing. Alone or especially with a group of friends, Troll 2 is a hold-your-sides, pee your pants, tears streaming down your face, relentless laugh riot that takes itself just seriously enough that you know it wasn't bad on purpose. I can honestly say, this is the best worst movie ever.


**ABOUT THE BLU RAY** It annoys me when people say, "If it's so bad why would you want to see it in 1080p?" Well, why Wouldn't you? Poor picture quality does not make a movie bad, it just makes it have poor picture quality. Fortunately for high def lovers like myself, the blu ray transfer is AWESOME!! Remarkably vivid and even gorgeous at times during nature scenes, this was an HD release that must have been taken at least somewhat seriously. Compared to the DVD, it blows it out of the water. Absolutely stunning.

As far as EXTRAS though, there aren't any. The only extra included is the Theatrical Trailer in HD, and it's hardly anything special. If you are interested in more info about the movie however, there is the great documentary Best Worst Movie coming out to DVD in November that focuses on Troll 2's cult following and interviews some of the cast.

Overall, I think Troll 2 is a rare gem that shouldn't be missed. Here's a brief summary:


- Yes, it's really that bad - but hilarious because of it
- Perfect to watch in groups
- No, you don't have to see Troll 1 first. They just used the Troll name to capitalize on the first film's minor success
- Blu Ray transfer is excellent
- Includes DVD copy of the film
- The only extra is the theatrical trailer
- For more info watch the documentary Best Worst Movie

For utter lunacy, this movie is supreme. It is a must see, particularly if you're "altered". The worst best movie of all time.

Let me start by saying, there is absolutely, positively NO good reason to see this movie!! With that said, you really do need to see this movie.

Confused? Good, then you are ready to watch this film. The acting is awful. The costumes came straight from a feed barn and K-Mart. The effects can be found in any quarter-taking, green slime-dispensing gumball machine. And the plot is non-existant. You will sit through this film torn between - scratching your head in confusion, laughing at the absurdity of it all, and wanting to claw your own eyes out of your head.

However, if you are in the mood for one of those movies that has nothing whatsoever to do with the title it carries, then boooooy, are you in luck! There are no trolls in this film at all ... I mean none! So all you troll's rights activists can rest easy, watch away! (All you goblin fans however, prepare to heave your guts out at the horrible portrayal of your beloved little imps.) The film basically revolves around a young boy, his braindead family, his sister's heterosexually dead boyfriend, and his actually dead (but persistantly present) grandpa. They play "trading houses" with complete strangers who just happen to be goblins in disguise, who just happen live in a goblin-infested town called (wait for it .....) NILBOG! Yeah ... I know, it's not all that challenging for you "New York Times" crossword solving types ... it's "GOBLIN" spelled backwards. GENIUS!! If you didn't figure that out immediately, don't feel to bad, the characters in the movie won't figure it out until 3/4 of the movie has past (and your medication will probably kick in very shortly).

But hey, what's to worry? The Goblins are vegetarians! Oh ... wait, they all want to turn you into plants first, and theeeen eat you. Of course! Why didn't I think of that sooner?! Worry not though, intrepid watchers of this piece of Oscar caliber cinematic gold, one good Mickey D's cheeseburger will solve everything! (Well ... that, and a molitav cocktail, lovingly supplied to a young boy by his "dead only when it's convenient" grandpa.)

In short, this is one for the ages! If you are a fan of Spielberg, Lucas, or Capolla, skip this at all costs! If, however you are a great fan of B movies ... skip this at all costs! If though, you don't mind the occasional Z movie, then hallelujah! you have arrived!!

This movie is the holiest of holy grails in the film community. There is only one video store I know that carries it and it's only rented by me and my circle of friends. Well, that all needs to change. This stellar film is the epitome of all thats good about bad movies. There are countless mistakes, like the entire film for starters. My favorites being that the movie is called TROLL II and there are no trolls in the thing. The box cover shows a boy with a creepy troll doll. Are these images from an as of yet unreleased TROLL III? Why, do you ask? Because that kid, doll, or even the giant troll with an axe are not anywhere in the movie! How great is that. Top off the worst film of all time with the funniest sex scene ever with a Tom "THE Man" Jones soundtrack and you have a movie worth killing a small town for. This movie has enspired my friends and I to film our own TROLL III. We already have the first few scenes done and it'll be distributed as soon as the prints are dry!

The summary says it all. This film is really incredibly bad, but somehow, I keep coming back to it. There's something incredibly bizarre and almost magical about it. Definitely worth a watch if you're into "good" bad movies (...did that make any sense?) Really, I can't describe what's so appealing about it, but I love this film.

I first saw this movie on HBO and couldn't stand it. Then, the more I watched it, the more I had to have. This movie is the worst scripted, worst acted piece of S*** to ever be put on the cheap imitation of celluloid film reel. It su**s, but let's get into why you should at least watch it once. Here is the basic story of the film if you could call it one: A young goofy freckled kid named Joshua, who suffers from seeing his dead Grandpa Seth, who in-turn is always talking about goblins like he is an expert or something, begins to fear what his grandpa is talking about. Then, his family takes a vacation to a small town known as NILBOG out in the middle of podunk nowhere and Joshua finds out that there is a whole slew of about 23 people and their dumb queen (who I have no clue in their right mind would hire as even a stagehand) who are goblins. Here is a list of the cr** in this film:

1.) The movie is called TROLL, not GOBLIN 2.) The acting is pitiful and not just by the main characters, such as the nilbog general store clerk or sheriff Gene Freak 3.) At one point in the movie, Joshuas family speak about how the people in town must go to sleep "this early at night", yet it is high noon. 4.) Pathetic costumes where you can see the midgets through the eyeholes. (Also, if someone is going to do a scene in which you see trolls or goblins, at least HAVE ENOUGH costumes for the actors rather than show a few humans along with them. 5.) Just about everything else in the movie.

Trust me, this movie is cra**, so why are you asking did I give it 5 stars??? It's so bad it grows on you and it is worth watching over and over just to look at the flaws, laugh at the incredibly bad filmmaking, and overall just to see one of those annoying goblins!

This is a stunningly brilliant cinematic wonder. Mankind has produced the Sistine Chapel, the Collected works of William Shakespeare, the IPod, and Troll 2. We've cloned, we've sent people to the moon, we've split the atom, and now we've achieved movie perfection. Einstein? Da Vinci? Fellini? Idiots! Morons, compared to the director of this masterpiece, this ultimate realization of humanity's potential. The discovery of fire? The invention of the wheel? Inconsequential, compared to this movie. An absolute marvel of a motion picture. Tremendous, stupendous, divine. It made me laugh, it made me cry. This is not just a film. It represents a collective apotheosis. It's a landmark; a milestone, a toehold on our heavenward climb. Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!