Trouble With Secrets [Paperback]

Karen Johnson (Author)

Book Description

Age Level: 3 and up

Recommended by members of Parents Anonymous, and available in both Spanish and English, this book helps children understand what to do when asked to keep a secret. Some secrets are fun and should be kept secret, author Johnsen explains. But if you feel hurt or confused when you're told something is a secret, you need to tell a grownup. Uses examples of secrets that will be familiar to children.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"The Trouble With Secrets helps young children understand the difference between secrets to be kept and those that are not. Its writing is clear and it uses familiar examples. The book deals with an important concept that needs to be taught to all children." -- Dorthy Corkille Briggs, M.S., Author of Your Child's Self Esteem

From the Publisher

"The Trouble with Secrets" is part of Parenting Press's well-respected "children's safety" collection. Other titles include "It's MY Body," "Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse," "Something Happened and I'm Scared to Tell," "Helping Abused Children," "Loving Touches," "Something is Wrong at My House," "Telling Isn't Tattling" and "Kids to the Rescue."

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 3 and up
  
• Paperback: 32 pages
• Publisher: Parenting Pr (March 1, 1986)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 094399022X
• ISBN-13: 978-0943990224
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #199,030 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #12 in Books > Children's Books > Science, Nature & How It Works > Health > Safety
  • #91 in Books > 4-for-3 Books > Children's Books > Issues > Social Skills

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

304 of 308 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars There are better books on this topic, December 29, 2001

By 

Karen Ziminski "Karen Ziminski, LMFT" (Lexington, MA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Trouble With Secrets (Paperback)

As a therapist who works with abused children, I have to say that I am sorry I bought this book and will not use it.

This book is about when children should keep secrets and when they should not. Part of its purpose is to help children protect themselves against sexual abuse, but this aim is not achieved. The author uses the "good touch, bad touch" concept, which experts such as Jan Hindman, author of "Just Before Dawn" strongly discourage. ("Just Before Dawn", by the way, is a great book on sexual abuse, but written for adults, more for therapists than laypeople.) It is not helpful to a child's normal development to label sexual touching as "bad touch". It is especially devastating to the sexual abuse victim who may have had a pleasurable bodily response to the abuse, which is not that uncommon. The "bad touch" concept will make this child feel guilty and bad and even more afraid to tell. It is much better to explain to the child that, except for the doctor, no adult is to touch the private parts of a child.

Another glaring mistake this book makes is that it advises a child to tell anyone who attempts to take their clothes off or touch them in an "uncomfortable way" to say, "No! I'll tell." Tellling a perpetrator "I'll tell" could end up getting the child killed. Of course, the child should tell, but not let the perpetrator know.

Two much better books on this subject for children are "My Body Is Private" and "Your Body Belongs to You".

73 of 73 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Misses By Miles, March 24, 2005

By 

BeatleBangs1964 (United States) - See all my reviews
(TOP 1000 REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)   

This review is from: Trouble With Secrets (Paperback)

I was disappointed in this book because it does not address many of the critical issues involving sexual abuse. I don't like the way the book leans heavily on the tired old "stranger danger" routine. Statistics have shown time and again that in the majority of cases, children know their abusers.

I agree with a point made in the review below about how children risk their own safety if they tell a predator, "No! Stop or I'll tell!" All well and good, but predators usually cannot be kept in check by a child's warning. Children don't have the physical strength to fend off a predatory adult, so the premise seems a little shaky there. I still wish the book would address the issue of what to do if abused by people one knows. The "candy-bearing" stranger lurking on the playground, offering gifts of money, rides and other treats has long been dispelled, if indeed he ever existed. In recent years, much has been done to help empower children and their families with knowledge of what to do if faced with such a situation; how to respond upon discovery and what steps to take to ensure protection for the child or children.

Read "Your Body Belongs to You" by Cornelia Spelman; "My Body is Private" by Linda Walvoord Girard and "The Right Touch: A Read Aloud to Help Prevent Child Sexual Abuse" by Sandy Kleven instead. I also highly recommend Peter Alsop's collection "Songs on Sex & Sexuality," especially the song, "My Body" which teaches these important safety lessons about predators in a gentle, loving and straightforward manner.

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book is very useful, March 14, 2006

By 

Ann M. Suabedissen (Bordentown, NJ USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Trouble With Secrets (Paperback)

We all have secrets, but for some kids, secrets can be confusing. This is a great book to read to or with young children, who need to understand the difference between a good secret and a toxic secret. I use it in my practice all the time, and it helps children realize they ae not alone, and that not all secrets are fun, and some even need to be shared with a trusted adult.