Customer Reviews

True Coming of Age : A dynamic process that leads to emotional stability, spiritual growth, and meaningful relationships

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I have read the book three times and feel that Dr. Chirban delivers a true and fresh perspective on discovering exactly who we are. Simply stated; how do we uncover our shell to find out what drives us - why do we behave certain ways - what is the underlying motivation in how we choose our life's path. This "manual" is helping me search inside myself & dig deep to reveal my authentic roots.

Dr. Chirban gave great illustrations through his interviews with high profile people and made their authenticity "real" for everyone. From the basics and complexities of love, to careers, sexuality, family dynamics and personal faith, Dr. Chirban leads you down the path of true fulfillment, coming from within yourself and reconnecting with your inner being, and hearing your true inner voice.

What do Maya Angelou, Lucille Ball, Tom Hanks, Diane Sawyer and Jay Leno have in common? They have all provided exclusive personal insights during their interviews with Dr. John Chirban, which are incorporated in his "True Coming of Age." Not only were the interviews with these famous celebrities riveting and heart wrenching, but they provided a wonderful framework for the meaning of true coming of age and establishing our True Self.

By using various exercises throughout the chapters to exemplify and illustrate the True Self in which we are all capable of achieving, this book proved to be an informative as well as interactive masterpiece.

This might sound a bit surreal but after reading Dr. Chirban's True Coming of Age, I have a new outlook on life. I try to live each day to its fullest capacity and try to put minor stressors in the "back burner." This book has enabled me to feel a sense of inner peace which I had never allowed myself to experience before. This is a must read for everyone!

True Coming of Age is so well written, it is reality in the making for any reader seeking insight into the self.  I found that here is a book so beautifully crafted that almost anyone can enjoy its healthy, gentle way of drawing us and encouraging us to reach for our goals and dreams.  Often, for many, a book may seem too challenging or even threatening.  But here, written as it is, we find understanding of any apprehensions we may have.  Dr. Chirban, a most gifted writer, is quickly recognized as not only being knowledgeable in psychology and theology, but most familiar with the fundamental quirks of the mind.  With certainty we realize that a steady, knowing hand wrote the words that compel and encourage improvement without stress.  Emotional maturity is attainable through insights gained throughout the book.  Strength of spirit is fostered by helping us shed fears, as well as our often long established "hang-ups."  The patience we learn allows us to improve our relationships.  Indeed, by personal improvement, we make the world a better place.  
 
Early on, Dr. Chirban helps us understand aspects of our makeup often ignored, and successfully raises our desire to improve.  In so many ways he shows us how to question the self, assess the self and improve the self.  We begin to sense a wholesome process taking place as we read words that trigger so many insights.  Realizations do not often come easy, but here, plentiful as they are, we soon bask in the freedom they give us.  True Coming of Age is a gift, a present to give to our selves ... and surely, a wonderful gift of enlightenment to give to friends and to our loved ones.  

I've read it cover to cover twice after receiving it as a gift a few months ago, and regularly return to it. The chapters are insightful and interesting, but the exercises are what differentiate it from other books in might otherwise be lumped in with in the "Self-Help" section. Suffice to say it was just the thing to knock me off a personal plateau I had been stuck on for too long. If your relationship with the world could bear some scrutiny and improvement, you'll never forget this book.

The famous Jesuit priest Anthony De Mello once asked a group to examine the feelings aroused within them as they contemplated a rose or a sunset. He then asked them to contrast this feeling with what was aroused within them by the praise and recognition of man. In True Coming of Age, Dr. John Chirban confronts his readers with much the same question-except now it's a challenge, and the answer is in the form of a path that opens wider and wider as one reads on. In this book he shows us how to live a skillful life meaningfully in the quest of a true measure of fulfillment.

Having occasionally ceased to understand what happiness even means, through the combined factors of status anxiety and ego pursuits, Dr. Chirban's book returned me to a very centered place. I was able to re-understand-and become much more comfortable---with choosing an authentic life as my measure for satisfaction.

He teaches that personal growth cannot be "achieved" "defined" or "measured" in conventional ways, and he does so by deconstructing the bewildering distractions that keep us outside of our human center. Using examples from pop culture as well as his extensive training in theology and philosophy and psychology, Dr. Chirban's book is a recipe for reflection and understanding that will change your life if you let it.

I read the book and LIKED it a lot, so I bought this for my mom as a gift. I love his insights-- so refreshing to hear it from a non-victim and value based source

In reading True Coming of Age, what impresses me most is that the advice is so honest. It really packs a punch because Dr. Chirban doesn't try to oversimplify things. He talks about life pretty much how it is, and while that's not always neat and tidy, you really feel a very organic power from the book because what he's saying is true. It's not like some of those other books that try to turn everything into a formula.

He talks about an amazing transformation in his parents when they both got cancer when they were old. It's a cool story because you think old people can't change, but his parents became buddies and started appreciating life in all these new ways. I feel like Dr. Chirban was there watching this happen, amazed himself and getting to know his parents in many new ways. I imagine him feeling the urge to know how it works, how people really change, how tragedy or the thought of death brings new life out of people, how to deeply connect with each other - and deciding to write a book to capture the truth of the process for others to understand.

I don't get the sense of a prefabricated message he knew he was going to find when he started. He doesn't go too far in interpreting the case studies he uses; he stays pretty close to the ground and draws out some clear but strong conclusions that add to the picture of what this coming of age is about. In his interviews with celebrities, as well, I picture him before these amazing people with an open mind, hearing the truth that came out of their stories.

The book has a lot in it. Instead of providing a self-help formula to digest and memorize, it's a book of richness to delve into and re-center ourselves within the reminders of what meaningful life looks and feels like.

John Chirban's True Coming of Age delivers THE authentic message of human purpose. Going beyond what's vogue to discover "purpose," Chirban points out how we each innately have what it takes. He guides with inspiring insights from great and "ordinary" lives showing us what we need to do to get on board our own path. He makes clear that coming of age is not the real challenge but how we can experience True Coming of Age through tuning in to our True Self. Carolyn Myss summarizes it well in her Foreword: "My enthusiasm for True Coming of Age grew in quantum leaps as I progressed through each chapter, and I realized that John Chirban has succeeded in writing the essential guidebook for entering into a dialogue with one's deeper or True Self."

Chirban talks a great deal ABOUT the true self, but stays away from exploring how to discover it. I don't need a book to tell me how fulfilling my life would be if I live my life in accordance with my true self. What I need is a book that tells me just how to discover what my true self is. I'd like to ask Chirban himself whether he has discovered what his true self is.

The famous Jesuit priest Anthony De Mello once asked a group to examine the feelings aroused within them as they contemplated a rose or a sunset. He then asked them to contrast this feeling with what was aroused within them by the praise and recognition of man. In True Coming of Age, Dr. John Chirban confronts his readers with much the same question-except now it's a challenge, and the answer is in the form of a path that opens wider and wider as one reads on. In this book he shows us how to live a skillful life meaningfully in the quest of a true measure of fulfillment.

Having occasionally ceased to understand what happiness even means, through the combined factors of status anxiety and ego pursuits, Dr. Chirban's book returned me to a very centered place. I was able to re-understand-and become much more comfortable---with choosing an authentic life as my measure for satisfaction.

He teaches that personal growth cannot be "achieved" "defined" or "measured" in conventional ways, and he does so by deconstructing the bewildering distractions that keep us outside of our human center. Using examples from pop culture as well as his extensive training in theology and philosophy and psychology, Dr. Chirban's book is a recipe for reflection and understanding that will change your life if you let it.