Customer Reviews

True Loves: Finding the Soul in Love Relationships

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This is a great book that helps us to quit pathologizing mates who drive us crazy. The naive idea exists that we can all get along with everyone, or: "if we can't get along - someone must be defective, and it can't be me!" This book helps put in perspective that we are all different and unique. There is nothing wrong with being a thinker, or feeler - a sensible practical person, or a big picture visionary person. The very traits that drive us crazy are admired by others.

I don't like the labels they chose for the types, (what romantic wants to be labeled innocent when they are 40? Or mercurical for that matter) But the types still hold true. And all lovers like to think of themselve as romantic. Not just Intuitive Feelers.

I am a mediator who helps divorcing couples work out separation agreements. I believe the divorce rate will never go down until we start marriage counseling earlier. Not at 40, or 30, or even when you book the church for the wedding. I believe that marriage counseling should start when we are 12 - the first time we look at that cute guy/babe in 7th grade, and wonder and dream of fairy tale endings.

One last plea -- if you have kids, and you are divorced, and you typically "dis" your ex either loudly, or even in subtle ways, STOP. I understand that the two of you got along like bleach and ammonia. Stop anyway. And realize that you are actually putting your children down. You are assuring your children's future divorces will be a done deal by the time they graduate. Try treating your ex with respect, tolerance, and plenty of distance. Read this book and accept that people are different. Real different.

This book is great. It's so much better than anything you get from a Keirsey book because instead of just stating that mercurial lovers should be with romantic lovers and innocents with steadfasts, it gives scenarios on how each of the four temperaments would act together in a relationship. It's great at describing all the potential conflicts in a relationship. I think anybody in a relationship would benefit from this book: it's just impossible not to be more aware of you and your partners complexes. If you're not familiar with type though, I suggest reading David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II. This book assumes you already know a lot of what's in there. For those familiar with Keirsey, the four different types the Quenks describe translate this way: Romantic=Idealist Mercurial=Rational Steadfast=Guardians Innocent=Artisans.

I am so disappointed by this book. It was supposed to incorporate the Myers-Briggs typing into an in-depth analysis of the relationships between the types. It was very vague, not even bringing the types into discussion. It makes up 4 types that are extremely ill-defined. It repeats the scant indicies on these types over and over, using up pages so it looks like a thicker book. What a joke. Don't waste your time. It has very little, if anything, to do with Myers-Briggs and is so generalized it cannot truly help you.

Iam so happy I bought this book I almost did not buy it because of the negetive review made buy a madame artiste, lukily I did
for this book is not based on the myers briggs it is based on the DISC wich for me is a much easier indicator of people and it is handled with inteligence and depth.Exelent exelent book dont mis it.