- The uncompromising man's fragrance.
Product FeaturesSize: 3.4 oz
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Product Description
Size: 3.4 oz
Inspired by the man who demands the best - and achieves it.
Product Details
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
127 of 130 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Bullish,
By Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Trump The Fragrance for Men 3.4 oz Eau de Toilette Spray (Health and Beauty)
Bullish. That's the one word that best embodies both the spirit of Trump, the man, and and the fragrance of his cologne.
Indeed, a bull was the image that immediately formed in my mind the first time I smelled "Trump the Fragrance for Men." I'll never forget that introductory whiff. It seized hold of my entire being, unleashing a storm of olfactory memories that left me gasping from a perch on a long-forgotten "bulling stool." Authentic Americans, patriots like Joe the Plumber and Donald the Trump, simple men who revere the values of the Heartland, will always remember the joyful hours they spent on a bulling stool. Who could forget the wonderful sense of anticipation you feel as you sit there behind the bull, slowly massaging his glorious bull grenades while you screw up the courage to sniff the holy land--that tract of hide that resides so invitingly between the bull bag and the cave of shame--until, eventually, the wanting overcomes the fear and you thrust your nose hard up against the bull and take a whiff. That, dear readers, is the musky barnyard smell of "Trump the Fragrance." But that is only part of the bulling stool experience and its relationship to the Donald. Occasionally, the bull will mistake the grenade massage for a medical examination, and he'll turn his head and cough. When that happens, bovine physiology dictates that the bull forcefully eject the entire contents of its fourth stomach out through its cave of shame. Imagine leaning into that as you're thrusting you nose in for a sniff. It's a breathtaking experience, literally breathtaking. It's also very exhilarating to take the full force of such a load of pure bull in a single sitting. It's the only experience that is comparable to sitting through one of Mr. Trump's speeches. They're the same thing, really.
32 of 33 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Key to Financial Success,
By
This review is from: Trump The Fragrance for Men 3.4 oz Eau de Toilette Spray (Health and Beauty)
Since using this life changing product, I've experienced several bankruptcies and the dissolution of two or three marriages. Never before have I been so close to achieving a pinnacle of the American Dream. I'd give this balm five stars, but it's annoying that I have to produce a birth certificate every time I purchase a bottle.
32 of 34 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Trompe le Nez!,
By Railbird (Boxborough, MA United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Trump The Fragrance for Men 3.4 oz Eau de Toilette Spray (Health and Beauty)
Whodda thunk it? A bombastic superannuated meglomaniac freak show attraction is also a fragrance maven? Nu? What next, Donald, advice for the lovelorn? Like its eponym, Eau de Trump is no flower born to blush unseen and waste its sweetness on the desert air. Place a few drops discretely behind your ear and women will "sense" your presence two floors below. Bloodhounds will find you in a chili pepper patch. Babies will sneeze when you enter a room. Teenage girls will giggle as they text their BFFs. Believe me, it happens!
My marriage had been hitting a rough patch. After 15 years I'd put on weight, all we did was idiotic sitcoms and reheated Stouffers dinners. Maybe the magic had gone out of our relationship. I thought about joining a gym, or showing my wife some consideration or maybe stop flirting with the divorced cocktail waitress with the Dolly Parton wig in the trailer next door. All those things seemed way too hard. Instead, I tried a little Eau d' and next thing you know, I'm in the sack with the cocktail waitress, and it may be a wig, but those memory glands are for real, baby! (Marriage is way-over rated!) So it really worked out for me, but I wish I had followed the Donald's example and gotten a pre-nup. The wife got both halves of the double-wide, but at least, I kept the Harley and the pitbull. 2115|R3IONEUBBFAK6Y;2115|R1JN6H1BNMIZL4;2115|R3G62S37XAX1Z8;
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