Customer Reviews

Trump The Fragrance for Men 3.4 oz Eau de Toilette Spray

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Bullish. That's the one word that best embodies both the spirit of Trump, the man, and and the fragrance of his cologne.

Indeed, a bull was the image that immediately formed in my mind the first time I smelled "Trump the Fragrance for Men." I'll never forget that introductory whiff. It seized hold of my entire being, unleashing a storm of olfactory memories that left me gasping from a perch on a long-forgotten "bulling stool."

Authentic Americans, patriots like Joe the Plumber and Donald the Trump, simple men who revere the values of the Heartland, will always remember the joyful hours they spent on a bulling stool. Who could forget the wonderful sense of anticipation you feel as you sit there behind the bull, slowly massaging his glorious bull grenades while you screw up the courage to sniff the holy land--that tract of hide that resides so invitingly between the bull bag and the cave of shame--until, eventually, the wanting overcomes the fear and you thrust your nose hard up against the bull and take a whiff.

That, dear readers, is the musky barnyard smell of "Trump the Fragrance."

But that is only part of the bulling stool experience and its relationship to the Donald. Occasionally, the bull will mistake the grenade massage for a medical examination, and he'll turn his head and cough. When that happens, bovine physiology dictates that the bull forcefully eject the entire contents of its fourth stomach out through its cave of shame. Imagine leaning into that as you're thrusting you nose in for a sniff. It's a breathtaking experience, literally breathtaking. It's also very exhilarating to take the full force of such a load of pure bull in a single sitting. It's the only experience that is comparable to sitting through one of Mr. Trump's speeches. They're the same thing, really.

Since using this life changing product, I've experienced several bankruptcies and the dissolution of two or three marriages. Never before have I been so close to achieving a pinnacle of the American Dream. I'd give this balm five stars, but it's annoying that I have to produce a birth certificate every time I purchase a bottle.

Whodda thunk it? A bombastic superannuated meglomaniac freak show attraction is also a fragrance maven? Nu? What next, Donald, advice for the lovelorn? Like its eponym, Eau de Trump is no flower born to blush unseen and waste its sweetness on the desert air. Place a few drops discretely behind your ear and women will "sense" your presence two floors below. Bloodhounds will find you in a chili pepper patch. Babies will sneeze when you enter a room. Teenage girls will giggle as they text their BFFs. Believe me, it happens!

My marriage had been hitting a rough patch. After 15 years I'd put on weight, all we did was idiotic sitcoms and reheated Stouffers dinners. Maybe the magic had gone out of our relationship. I thought about joining a gym, or showing my wife some consideration or maybe stop flirting with the divorced cocktail waitress with the Dolly Parton wig in the trailer next door. All those things seemed way too hard. Instead, I tried a little Eau d' and next thing you know, I'm in the sack with the cocktail waitress, and it may be a wig, but those memory glands are for real, baby! (Marriage is way-over rated!)

So it really worked out for me, but I wish I had followed the Donald's example and gotten a pre-nup. The wife got both halves of the double-wide, but at least, I kept the Harley and the pitbull.

I bought some Trump the Fragrance and tried it out recently. When my wife got a whiff of me she immediately sent me outside to the deck. (Thank goodness the Wi-Fi works out here) She said I wasn't allowed in the house until November, 2012 unless she could hose that smell off of me.

I'm holding out until the Iowa caucuses!

Can't please those Democrats.

I find this 'fragrance' to be very reminiscent of a bar scene where men tell lies mostly to impress other men.
Of a man who sees women only as Arm Trophies. If I were the man who squandered his father's fortune, had a comical combover and lied about my draft deferments, this scent would surely bespeak of all of that and more!

Motel Soap will leave a person more appealing than this, yet the latest in self-promotion of a man failed in everything.

Women who can think for themselves will be repelled. Gold diggers and bimbos will love it.

Wear at your own risk.

I bought this fragrance (men's cologne) by chance actually - I was browsing local TJ Maxx and stumbled upon the small (1.7oz) box of Donald Trump Cologne that was misplaced in the kitchen items isle. The box design looked cheap and gaudy: confident Trumpster standing next to his beautiful wife Melania. The price was reduced to $6.99, so I though "How can I go wrong with $7.00?", I mean, there was the photo of successful Trump and his hottie wife, my point on this was that the marketing people tried to sell me the snake oil that was supposed to help me get the chicks, so in the end I bought it. When I came home and unwrapped the box, I found there a bottle that looked pretty much like Lauder for Men by Estee Lauder, the same kind of extrusion design. So I thought that Estee Lauder was behind this product and that they just altered their fragrance recipe a bit so it would save them time and money on developing a new scent from scratch. When I spray the Trump fragrance on I had a different emotions: it smelled a bit cheap and tacky, but it also smelled of citrus, cleanliness and overall it was pleasant. It took me a while but I got used to it. I personally spray it on a bright, breezy and warm day in the morning after shower. The Donald Trump fragrance makes me feel clean and confident. Yes, the marketing is tacky but the actual product is really good. I give it 5 stars because I just really like it and I can definitly see how someone might shy away from it just from hearing the name. I don't think that they make it anymore, so if I will stumble upon it, I will buy myself a spare bottle, because the current one is almost gone.

I was walking through Toys R Us shopping for my kids when I asked the stock boy for some help. He turned and about knocked my socks off. He smelled absolutely wonderful. I just had to ask him what fragrance he was wearing. Donald Trump it was. He was embarassed to tell the truth =) But, the cologne was obviously a hit. I bought my husband some immediately and a year later I find myself back on Amazon to get another bottle. This time the bigger one = )