Customer Reviews

The Truth Comes Out: When Someone You Love is in A Same Sex Relationship

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This is the most honest book by a Christian I have ever read. I love it. I love the bold, obvious pain that comes across in the prose. I love the story of someone who has suffered more than I --- and lived to tell about it, and I love her anger - because who wouldn't be angry. This book is going to help a lot of families and I, for one, am grateful it was written. Out of Nancy Heche's pain, comes gain - in comfort of others.

I am glad that someone has written a book from the point of view of an evangelical Christian who is seeking to encourage others to have a more respectful attitude toward the gay community. Unfortunately, the person who wrote this book is so extremely self-centered and such an emotional mess, that it is difficult to take anything she says seriously or to trust her advice.

In many ways, I very much appreciate Nancy Heche's commitment to having love and respect for those to whom she refers as "living homosexually." I expect that most people who read her book are evangelical Christians, and because that community has such a poor record at treating gay people with love and respect, Nancy Heche's book is a big step in the right direction.

However, I read her daughter Anne Heche's book first, the memoir "Call Me Crazy," and I was extremely disappointed that Nancy does not address some of Anne's accusations against her. Anne accuses her mother of repeated physical abuse, and also of not protecting her from her father's sexual abuse, which Anne believes her mother knew about. Nancy Heche does not once mention that Anne believes that she was repeatedly raped by her father. Perhaps Nancy believes that this never happened. Even so, she should have brought it up. There is not a single reference to Anne's book. This absence greatly detracts from her claim that she is giving a complete and honest account of her life.

Nancy Heche is now a psychotherapist who gives seminars called "It's All About Me," in which she helps people take responsibility for their own feelings and for changing themselves, rather than trying to change their loved ones. While I am all for taking personal responsibility, that title very much characterizes Nancy's whole approach to everything. While she claims to be a Christian who is committed to doing God's will, her entire story is one long tale of self absorption. She makes it clear that the same self-centered approach that allowed her children's needs and safety to be neglected so that she could live a life that appeared to be perfect, is still going on in her seminars, which are more geared toward getting strokes and positive reinforcement for Nancy than for helping those in need.

If you are a Christian who has difficulty loving and dealing with homosexuals, this book will help you to learn tolerance and respect. If you are anyone else, don't waste you time on the whinings of a deeply messed up woman, who at nearly 70 and with a doctorate in counseling, still can't see past her own narrow-minded perspective.

I feel Dr Heche comes up very short in discussing how to make amends with a lesbian daughter. I myself am not lesbian, but I am a survivor of child sexual abuse, just like her Ann. The fact that she did not discuss addressing that very deep pain of Ann's tells me she seems to STILL have her head in the sand. How can she encourage parents to say, "I realize you must have had some serious pain to cause you to make this decision..." to their child and then not share her own experience? The whole book is about sharing her experiences, minus the most important one - mending her strained relationship with her daughter. Dr Heche did not share about how she apologized for not being there for Ann or protecting her from the pedophile father. The book leaves you to think that Ann was on her way to healing since she returned to heterosexuality - FAR from it. Do a Google search for Ann Heche and you'll see that she is still hurting very much. Yes, Nancy had a change of heart about the homosexuals, Big Deal! Any decent mom would if it were their kid. Being such a bad mom just made it even more imperative especially if you're child is famous and you've got initials behind your name. The truth shall set US free, ALL the Truth.

It's been a year since I read this and I suspect exploitation on Nancy's part. She is so far from making amends with Anne and I have to wonder if this book has widen the canyon even more.

Nancy's story is interesting, but the work is poorly written and difficult to follow her train of thought at many points throughout.

I do not know Nancy or Anne Heche or anyone in their families. I do know many wonderful people who are homosexual and sadly I've heard a lot of fundamentalist Christians spew a lot of hate towards those in the gay lifestyle when discussing this issue. This book goes a long way towards encouraging people to act with love and respect regardless of your differences and that can be beneficial in many areas of society, not simply those with different views on homosexuality. I found it to be well written, and her voice to be soft and gentle. This could be a model for many.

Nancy Heche's book is very timely. Very little has been written about the families that have been affected by someone who declares he/she is a homosexual. Mrs. Heche writes this book from the perspective of a wife and mother affected deeply by the disclosures that her husband is dying of AIDS and daughter is having a high profile relationship with a female national celebrity. She shares very honestly her confusion and hurt. Mrs. Heche never asked to go down the road that was dealt to her. She, in a very compelling way, writes about her journey from despair to hope.

Nancy Heche's book is both compelling and engrossing. It is hard to believe that anyone could experience so much loss, and come out on the other side with a stronger faith and positive outlook. It is wonderful to hear how she has come to a place of love and respect for those who are homosexual. I recommend that anyone who is interested in this issue (even those who are not) to read Nancy's book. It gives great insight into one who has herself experienced deep pain, and has begun the journey to healing only through the strength and grace of her faith in God. The most remarkable part of it all is that she now holds no bitterness or resentment towards all that has happened to her or the people that have wounded her. This is one of the greatest miracles of all.

Begin to cross the canyon and challenge yourself to walk as Christ walked. If you've felt torn about your witness as it relates to the homosexual community this book is a great help in getting your faith and your mind in the RIGHT place. Nancy's journey is both inspiring, challenging, and helpful for all of us who need some mentoring in this area of our witness. The answer to the question "who knows...." is WE KNOW; this book is for such a time as this....TODAY!!!

Finally, an honest book about the issue of being a Christian and loving. It is the story of a woman's spiritual journey from fear and hate to love and respect for all people. I would recommend this book to anyone. It was a book that brought me to tears at the end. We must face the love/hate relationship that Christians and Homosexuals have battled over or ignored for so many years. Thank you, Nancy Heche for your complete transparency. It IS about us, and not others. We must change our feelings about others,and learn how to love unconditionally.

I picked up this book on Sunday at church and just finished reading it Monday night (were it not for a job and 4 kids, it would have been sooner!). It was exceptionally powerful - thank you, Nancy, for sharing your story with so many. As I read it I kept thinking "I need to buy this for... and... and..." It is so much more than the homosexual issue, and yet so convicting and honest about thoughts & attitudes concerning that issue that so many of us don't know how to handle in our society. Thank you! My heart has been touched and changed as a result of reading your book. Just the journey of Nancy's faith in the midst of so much - makes my small trials feel so do-able.