Truth or Delusion?: Busting Networking's Biggest Myths [Hardcover]

Ivan R. Misner (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 17, 2006

Many books teach the "who / what / where / why / how" of professional networking. Truth or Delusion separates the reality from the fantasy by presenting Truths and Delusions about networking and then shows why they are either real or fakes. For example: Delusion: The best way to ensure referral success is to treat your referral sources by the "Golden Rule." Treat them the way you would want to be treated. Truth: The best way is to treat your referral sources the way THEY want to be treated. The referral process is more about emotion than facts. Find out how your referral sources want to be treated and how they would like you to treat their referrals.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 160 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson (October 17, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0785223207
• ISBN-13: 978-0785223207
• Product Dimensions: 7.6 x 5.3 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #928,970 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Ivan Misner is the Founder & Chairman of BNI, the world's largest business networking organization. BNI was founded in 1985. The organization has thousands of chapters throughout every populated continent of the world. Each year, BNI generated millions of referrals resulting in over billions of U.S. dollars worth of business for its members.

Dr. Misner's Ph.D. is from the University of Southern California. He has written twelve books, including his New York Times Bestseller; Masters of Networking as well as his recent #1 bestseller, Networking Like a Pro. He is a monthly columnist for Entrepreneur.com and is the Senior Partner for the Referral Institute - a referral training company with trainers around the world. In addition, he has taught business management and social capital courses at several universities throughout the United States.

Called the "Father of Modern Networking" by CNN and the "Networking Guru" by Entrepreneur magazine, Dr. Misner is considered to be one of the world's leading experts on business networking and has been a keynote speaker for major corporations and associations throughout the world. He has been featured in the L.A. Times, Wall Street Journal, and New York. Times, as well as numerous TV and radio shows including CNN, CNBC, and the BBC in London.

Dr. Misner is on the Board of Trustees for the University of LaVerne. He is also the Founder of the BNI Misner Charitable Foundation and was recently named "Humanitarian of the Year" by a Southern California newspaper. He is married and lives with his wife Elisabeth and their three children in Claremont, CA. In his spare time!!! he is also an amateur magician and a black belt in karate.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 16 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Clearing "The Fog of Networking", October 31, 2006

By 

Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Truth or Delusion?: Busting Networking's Biggest Myths (Hardcover)

My concern, frankly, is that at least some people will see this book's title and incorrectly conclude that its subject is direct or multi-level marketing. True, the material which Misner, Macedonio, and Garrison provide can be of substantial value to those within downlines who sell products directly and/or supervise others who do. However, this book's core concepts are really relevant to any relationship which is (key point) mutually beneficial to everyone involved, and that is as true of personal relationships as it is of business relationships. In fact, because people do business with other people, not with companies, all relationships are essentially personal. The authors acknowledge the value of "The Golden Rule" but stress that "The Platinum Rule" is even more important: Do until others as they would be done to. I agree. This is precisely what New Positioning is all about: Establishing and then sustaining positive perceptions of one's self re a given product or service, not of one's perceptions of that product's or service's functions, features, and benefits, etc. Ultimately, the perceived value of almost any experience is determined by how I feel about myself as a result of (let's say) patronizing a Starbucks, driving a luxury car, or purchasing a long-term annuity.

The authors employ a clever device when presenting and then develop their key points: They pose a series of statements and then explain why each is either a "delusion" or a "truth"...and why. Here are five examples:

"Networking is a fad."
Delusion: "Networking is no more a fad than sales and marketing."

"To be good at networking, you have to be a real `people person.'"
Delusion: "A good networker has two ears and one mouth and uses them proportionally."

"The person benefiting the most in the referral process is the person receiving the referral."
Sometimes: "Your number one responsibility is to make your referral source look good."

"Your referral strategy should be customized for each referral source and sales prospect."
True: and "always remember the Platinum Rule: treat others as they want to be treated."

"It is best to limit the number and types of networking groups you belong to."
True: In this case, "it's possible to attend too many networking groups, and its possible to attend too few."

Re this last point, I presume to add that any group (not only one whose primary purpose is marketing) can offer legitimate and appropriate opportunities to increase and expand one's network. For example, with parents at a youth sports event, with those at a wedding reception or holiday party, with others who attend the same conference or convention,
and with fellow members of a local chamber in attendance at a monthly meeting.

To me, one of the authors' most important and valuable insights is that mutually-beneficial networking requires a cohesive, comprehensive, and resource-effective [in italics] system [end italics]. Hence the need to set specific objectives, rigorously evaluate options, select only those strategies ("hammers") and tactics ("nails') which can help to achieve the desired objectives, and then implement what amounts to a "game plan" with prudence (e.g. do not waste time and energy), persistence (i.e. think in terms of a marathon rather than a sprint), and patience.

As the authors advise, networking initiatives must be focused and disciplined, to be sure, but be prepared to respond effectively to unexpected opportunities "to connect" with people in need of assistance and consider it a privilege to provide it, especially (repeat, especially) if that need is unrelated to what you or your organization sells. "I can't answer that question [or solve that problem] but I know people who can. I'll ask them to get in touch with you right away. "Of course, needs are seldom revealed, at least immediately, during a social conversation with some whom you've just met. Hence the importance of having authentic curiosity about what others think and feel, care about, worry about, etc. as well as about what they do and how they do.

In this context, I am reminded of a conversation years ago with a woman (whose name I forget) who conducts workshops based on the concept of "The 60-Second Miracle." She explained that she asks all workshop participants to imagine sitting next to someone on a plane or meeting someone at a party who asks, "What do you do?" Each participant spends a few minutes writing out her or his response and then all responses are read aloud. (Here's where it gets interesting.) She - let's call her Wendy - then dismisses the lengthy responses as ineffective and explains "The 60-Second Miracle." Initially, people really don't care where you live, the name of your organization, your title, etc. When they first meet you, and ask what you do, you have about 10 seconds to "connect." If you don't, people will be polite as the conversation continues but their possible interest in what you do has been lost, indeed forfeited. What does Wendy suggest? Here's one scenario:

Q: What do you do?
A: Lots of people have problems with XXXX. I solve them.

Q: What kinds of problems?
A: The most common include [cite 2-3].

Q: How do you solve them?
A: Here's an example. Let's say the problem is X. I [fill in and be brief].

Desirable Responses

#1: Listen, I have problems like that. Do you have a business card with you?

OR

#2: I don't have problems like that but I know someone who does. Do you have a business card with you?

All this take no more than 60 seconds. More often than not, if the interaction is managed effectively, what Wendy calls a "miracle" occurs.

Credit Misner, Macedonio, and Garrison with providing the cohesive, comprehensive, and resource-effective [in italics] system [end italics] to which I referred earlier. They include dozens of real-world examples and all of their advice is eminently practical, indeed immediately do-able. However, make no mistake: Effective networking requires prudence, persistence, and patience. Most important, the ultimate result should be mutually-beneficial relationships which must be, like a garden, cultivated and nourished with meticulous and - yes - loving care.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I stand corrected, excellent book., October 20, 2006

By 

Hazel M. Walker (Indianapolis, IN United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Truth or Delusion?: Busting Networking's Biggest Myths (Hardcover)

I teach a program to business professionals who want to build their business by referral, I also coach and consult with organizations that want to grow their business as such I probably own and have read just about EVERY book written on the topic of networking, connecting, word of mouth marketing, and virtual networking. Many of them are redundant, and repeat what has already been written. I am happy when I find some new nugget that I can use. This book was an exceptional surprise, it is so full of information that is right on target. Similar to Masters of Networking, there was nugget after nugget that is so fresh and new that I can't wait to introduce it to everyone I work with.

I recommend that every single person who thinks that they are building their business by referral or who want to build their business by referral......read this book.!

I will begin using this book in all of my classes and workshops from this point forward. I look forward to the second installment as I am sure there are more Myths out there to debunk.

Hazel M. Walker
Building Relationships, Building Businesses
Author, Speaker, Trainer

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It packs a punch!, October 19, 2006

By 

Michelle R. Donovan (Pittsburgh, PA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Truth or Delusion?: Busting Networking's Biggest Myths (Hardcover)

This book is an enjoyable, fun read on the serious topic of networking. I found myself quickly turning the pages in anticipation of the next myth. It packs a punch! As a business owner, I am recommending this book to other business owners, sales professionals, and even recent college graduates entering the business work force. This one book clarifies the true meaning and essence of business networking.