Customer Reviews

The Truth Is... My Life in Love and Music

5 star:		(78)
4 star:		(27)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

"The Truth Is..." a new autobiography by rock-and-roll singer, Melissa Etheridge, is a rare, poignant look into the life of someone who has actually lived the words they sing. Delving into extremely personal, and sometimes painful, topics that most would choose to pretend never happened, Melissa charges ahead and lays bare her soul. Sharing written entries from her personal diary as a child, one gets a glimpse of an extremely sad child, desperately in need of love and nurturance, neither of which she received. Later entries take the form of songwriting, and still the sadness lingers.

This written journey into her soul shows the path Melissa has taken over the past 40 years in her career, loves and relationships, births of her two children, and eventual happiness with the person she has become.

Melissa takes us back to her roots in Leavenworth, Kansas, circa 1961, and her birth into an extremely dysfunctional family that never shared their emotions. Born on her older sister's birthday, that event seemed to set-off a deep-set resentment in Jennifer, culminating in manipulation, physical, and sexual abuse that lasted for many years. As do many victims of sexual abuse, Melissa escaped into a fantasy world that gave her comfort -- the world of movies, food, and later, music. For two hours in the make-believe world of Hollywood, she could escape the reality of her life, and find safety in her dreams for the future.

In 1964, she heard the Beatles for the very first time, and from that moment on, music became her saving grace. With music in her life, Melissa found a sanctuary, and would daily recreate songs with the neighborhood kids, always in the lead guitarist role of their make-believe band. Eventually her father noticed, and one day came home with a real guitar, which set her on her musical journey. Although her mother was never fond of her musical talents, her father did take an interest, driving his talented daughter to practices and gigs all over Kansas and other areas. She played throughout her high school years with one goal in mind -- to be a rock-and-roll star and get the hell out of Leavenworth, which is exactly what she does.

The trip to stardom didn't happen overnight, taking detours to Boston and the East Coast, before heading west to the bright lights of Los Angeles. Along the way, Melissa continued her search for love, falling into the typical lesbian "second-date/U-Haul" relationship trap. She entertained various women and relationships throughout the years that would fill her soul for the moment, yet left her empty when they simply couldn't give her enough. These heart-wrenching relationships led to passion-filled, gut-wrenching hits such as "Bring Me Some Water," "Like the Way I Do," "Don't You Need," "Similar Features," and the classic, "You Can Sleep While I Drive."

A turning point in Melissa's life happened when she met Julie Cypher. At the time, Julie was married to actor, Lou Diamond Phillips. But Melissa was smitten, and evidently, so was Julie. Their flirtation on the set of Melissa's first music video continued throughout the months; Julie finally making the first physical overture with a kiss. The affair continued for months before Julie filed for divorce from Phillips, and fled to Melissa's arms. In the beginning, their relationship appears to have the glow most new relationships do. But eventually the shine wears off, and you read of many infidelities on Julie's part, her desire to control and manipulate Melissa to get what she wants, the birth of two children into a troubled relationship, and a growing sense of unhappiness in Melissa. The children appear to be the only bright spot in Melissa's life during this tumultuous relationship. Acknowledging their problems, the couple attempts counseling. The final revelation Julie shares with Melissa during a session is not only devastating to her as she hears it, but is devastating to the reader as well. You truly feel her pain upon hearing the declaration.

Continuing towards the end of this painful relationship with Melissa, you get a sense of a troubled soul about to turn the page in her life. Her words gain strength with each passing page, and although she slips a few times, Melissa begins to find a new balance in her life, discovering herself in the process. The newfound self-confidence she feels in the last few chapters simply leap from the page, impressing the reader of the importance in finding one's place in life, knowing what it is you need and desire, and not settling for less.

While many could say this is a "dirty laundry" book, Melissa is fair in her telling of the stories. She states, "What you are about to read is my perception of the events that have shaped my life, inspired my music, and brought me to a new understanding of myself and my life...people may disagree, and some may not like what I have to say, but I stand by my truth." She neither hides, nor apologizes, for sharing these intimate moments, and by doing so, conquers the demons of silence that have haunted her for so many years. The road to emotional health for Melissa was riddled with self-doubt, an unhealthy attraction to controlling, manipulative women, a desperate need to be loved, and other stumbling blocks, but in the end, she seems to find a peace and happiness within.

As the book draws to a close, we find Melissa standing on the precipice of a new life as a single woman, continuing the role as mother to her beautiful children, preparing to launch a new album, "Skin," and a new world tour. By writing "The Truth Is..." Melissa Etheridge has once again written a missive guaranteed to touch a soul, just as her songs have for so many years. Maybe not with music we hear with our ears, but definitely feel with our heart.

Melissa Etheridge has always been one to pour her love and sadness out in the raw, pulsing drive of her music, or the crystalline acoustics that so clearly define the despondency she felt as her life unraveled. In this book she explains the emotions behind the lyrics, as she climbs to the top, becoming one of the most respected female artists on the music scene today. The book also covers the life she spent with her partner Julie Cypher and their two children.

The many photos delighted me, both professional and candid home shots, interspersed among the chapters. She tells how together, with the help of long time friend David Crosby, she and Julie were able to create an alternative family. Unfortunately things have fallen apart, but Melissa and Julie have back-to-back homes so the children can have some semblance of unity in their lives, even though their mothers have parted. I was touched by her words on page 208, when she talks about the dismantling of their home and life, after their break-up. A hot water tank in the attic broke, and the water just poured down from the ceilings. She writes: "We were moving and our house was crying."

I have to admit it was an odd read, and not like any other book I have ever read but it was interesting and Melissa's honesty was enjoyable. I have to give her credit for following her heart and being strong enough to deal with the repercussions as the world looks on. The best in love and life to you Melissa, you are an incredible individual. Kelsana 9/14/01

I picked up this book and couldn't put it down. This book touched me inside. Our childhood's paralleled each others. I found myself shaking my head in understanding as I read. I grew up also in a family devoid of feelings. It amazes me that she and I are the same age and yet followed two different paths. I loved her drive as she was not going to let anything stop her. She knew what she wanted and she was bound and determined to get it. At times I found myself envying Melissa's journey into self. Wishing I had had the same fortitude she had. She is a strong independent womyn. Recently I went to my first lesbian meeting. I sat in that parking lot, frozen...not able to move. Then I remembered something I had just read in Melissa's book. She wrote that when she went to Los Angeles. She knew no one, she would go to the lesbian bars alone. I used her strength to find my own. I went to that meeting and no longer felt alone. Her story affected me and that is what a good book does.

I start out by saying that I have been a Melissa Etheridge fan for some time. This book, while informative as to where the songs come from, leaves me at a loss for something. Her music and lyrics are powerful and you see where that power eminates from. But the book also seemed vindictive, not just to former lovers, but everyone in her life. I also thought the book was sketchy at times, vague in areas where establishing a background would have helped better understand her personal feelings towards those around her. I also struggle with the fact that she decided to have children while her relationship, never minding whether hetero or homosexual, was on very rocky ground. But hey, that seems to be todays world. Definately a read for a fan, but maybe the book could have used more truth and reflection and less tabloid reporting of promiscuity.

Often times in life we hide our truths to place others in a comfort zone. We hide our pain through smiles, our fears through laughter. Although we are essentially individual human beings, the feelings that we have and hide are universal, unbiased to money, fame, mediocrity, latitude and longitude...etc. I bought this book expecting another typical biography/autobiography which tells half truths...enough of a bite to keep you interested but guarded as to not offend, to not shock, to hide the essential person. I have admired Melissa Etheridge for her honesty in her sexuality and her wonderful raspy voiced, from the heart musical gift. So I bought the autobiography. Let's face it, would you expect this to be anything other than a Norman Rockwell Painting? Melissa is an open, accepted lesbian woman, she had a long-time partner(whose breakup with shocked the hell out of me), 2 beautiful children, and the career she chose(or chose her)had rocketed her to stardom. Was this going to be page after page of "don't you wish you could be me" and "isn't my life wonderful?" I read this book in a little over an evening...I could not put it down. Her book was actually...honest. From her emotionally disconnected family, her resentful older sister who abused her, her careless sexual relations, her music dreams and aspirations, and her relationships which held a lot of pain masked by smiles, to the point she is at with her children...she was honest. Brutally, at times. This book brought the lesbian mega-rock star down from Goddess to human. She shares the same emotionally draining problems that we all do. She shares of her desire for a monogamous relationship(which in the lesbian world seems to be hard to come by..at least I've found it to be). She talks skimmingly about Julie's displeasure with her weight and her clothing selection(which frankly...huh? who could belittle anything physical about her..but anyway). It is just a very candid book that will surely be appreciated by her fans...or anyone needing to feel their feelings aren't unusual. Money and fame can't buy you love, or happiness, or self-validation. Maybe this book was a form of therapy for her and because of her honesty, her frankness about herself, the book itself massages the feelings of alone and although doubtfully intended, is a form of therapy for the reader. I highly recommend this book to her fans, her admirers, and anyone just wanting to hear a saddly missed art...honesty. When Melissa came out to the world, I just wanted to run up hug her and say thank you for making me feel like I'm ok, after reading the book I want to run up and hug her and say, "you're human...and you're ok."

I cannot even imagine the strength it took for Melissa Etheridge to bare her soul the way she did in this autobiography. In this frank, unembellished, and painfully honest account of her life, from her earliest days as a sensitive child abused by an older sister to her rise to fame to her terribly painful relationships and subsequent breakups, Etheridge simply opens her heart for all to see.

The result is a book that is often painful to read. I frequently got the sense that I was a peeping Tom, peering in at secrets and feelings that should not be shared with anyone. Some of Etheridge's experiences, such as her early attempts at heterosexual dating, her dysfunctional early relationships, her love of music, and her dogged determination to be recognized in the world, are not that different from any other celebrity bio. What makes the book different is the pain that Etheridge does not, or cannot, hide.

What emerges is an unflinching portrait of a woman whose sensitive inner soul belies her tough public persona. Yes, we've seen it all a hundred times before, but something about the extreme honesty of this tale gets under your skin. I came away with a strong and almost protective admiration for Etheridge, a desire to own all of her CDs, and a prayer that she have inner peace. She certainly deserves it.

For a number of years now I've loved the author's gutsy, passionate style of writing and singing her music. When she told the world that she was a lesbian, I thought, "Bravo! Go, Melissa, go!"

It's odd to have to rate someone's life story, and I don't feel entirely comfortable doing it. However, aside from the relatively minor matter of rather slapdash editing, what I find objectionable is the job she did on her ex-partner.

When you get into a relationship, even one with a celebrity, it ought to be understood that the intimate details and conflicts will not, at some point, be turned into a book and displayed to the public. All through this book I wondered: how does Julie Cypher feel about this kind of glaring exposure? And even if she agreed to such an expose and applauded every word, how will their children feel about it? Can you imagine growing up knowing that EVERYBODY sees you as the child of one parent who apparently had numerous affairs and of another who told the entire world about it?

For that reason I regard books like this as mean-spirited. It's certainly not right to be lied to and cheated on, but that does not in any way authorize this kind of hitting back. Better, and more healthy, to deal with the problems assertively as they arise rather than store up a huge fund of anger and let it fly like this.

I continue to love the author's music, but I'm extremely disappointed that she has chosen to write such a book under cover of "letting it all out" or being on a journey of healing. And while there is much to be said for the bravery of allowing one's fans to learn from one's personal difficulties--and Lord knows Melissa has been through enough to make her an expert on suffering and abuse--there is nothing helpful or healing in shaming ex-partners.

I read this book as soon as it arrived, I couldn't put it down. As a staunch fan of Melissa's gut honest, emotionally raw music I expected nothing less from her recent autobiography. I was not disappointed. The book reads as she lives her life, unafraid to tell the truth and willing to share her deepest pain and joy. Curled up in my living room with the book, I felt as though a friend, a sister, was in the other chair sharing the chronological herstory of the discovery, the joy, and saddly, the loss of her most treasured relationship. Just as the lyrics of her songs always touch and reveal my own vulnerabilities, this book brought tears to my eyes. Melissa's willingness to reveal her journey from the unphathomable darkness of her pain to the "evolution" that returned peace and brilliant light to her soul as a result of this experience is just another source of my respect and admiration for her as a person, a woman, a mother and entertainer.

I have only been a fan of Melissa Etheridge for the past 2-3 years. Prior to that, I liked her, but never made an effort to seek her music out. Since I have become a more devoted fan, I have come to rely on her music - especially the 'Breakdown' CD - to release my feelings - her music has such force, and feeling, that on occasion, seems to take my breath away. I must say, I felt the same way about this book - I got it as a birthday gift, and read it the night I got it - and, have since read it again. What I find most appealing about Ms. Etheridge's music, and book, is the fact that although she is baring her deepest emotions - anger, saddness, pain, loss - she does so with such inner strength that is flows into her words, and thus, into you. As I read this book, I found myself feeling very much like I was listening to her talk - listening to her honestly, and painfully, reveal her life. I found myself crying throughout the book, and, in the end, feeling the strongest desire to write to her - something that, as an avid reader, I have NEVER done - just to let her know how much she touched me, and to thank her for her honesty, I would highly recommend this book to anyone, and everyone.

This is a good book, filled with pain, humor and a lot of courage. It does however contain a lot of personal "dish", which honestly compelled me to read it. But does that make it ok to write such personal information about another person (her former spouse as well as other friends). I wonder if she will regret having written this in 5-10 years and even what her kids would think. Given all that, I still recommend reading it--a real life beach book...