The Truth about Stepfamilies: Real American Stepfamilies Speak Out [Paperback]

Anne O'Connor (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 2003

As divorce and remarriage rates soar, stepfamilies are quickly becoming the rule rather than the exception. In The Truth about Stepfamilies, professional journalist and longtime stepmom Anne O'Connor shares personal stories of parents and children from across the country about their struggle to create their own family and traditions amidst the history that each person brings to the new household. She answers all the tough questions that this new family unit must face. Where does the new stepparent fit in? Who disciplines the kids? How do you manage the ex? Who pays for what? How are the kids affected? And—most importantly—does it ever get easier? O'Connor offers solid, practical advice bolstered by real-life examples to give readers the tools they need to create a happy, healthy family. The Truth about Stepfamilies shows that with knowledge, support, and hard work, life in stepfamilies can move from bitter resentment and anxiety to respect, tolerance, and love between family members.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Minneapolis-based journalist O'Connor has translated eight years of personal experience as a stepmother plus in-depth reporting among stepfamilies across the country into a lucid guide to the labyrinthine family dynamics that result from divorce and remarriage. "The work of creating a well-functioning stepfamily is the hardest thing" that people in these reinvented families say they have ever done, O'Connor writes. With this helpful and sympathetic volume, she aims to help stepfamilies struggling with issues such as creating boundaries between immediate stepfamilies and "outer" (original) families, negotiating family roles, raising children in separate homes, disciplining children in a stepfamily, and dealing with feuding adults and money-related strife. Many of her highly readable chapters weave in anecdotes that illustrate suggested coping strategies; others begin with a list of the dramatis personae, followed by a brief ethnography of a specific family system, with each family member's point of view represented. As divorce and remarriage rates continue to soar, this guide should be valuable to a broad spectrum of Americans negotiating new family structures.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

Library Journal, 4/1/09
“[O’Connor’s] readable and insightful what-to-expect info outlines the typical developmental stages of stepfamilies and how many of them achieve peace.”

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Da Capo Press (May 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1569244944
• ISBN-13: 978-1569244944
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,112,785 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars The Pacific NW Step-Mother, February 10, 2004

By 

Pacific NW Step-Mom (Pacific Northwest, WA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Truth about Stepfamilies: Real American Stepfamilies Speak Out (Paperback)

When I read the book, it did portray our family dynamics quite accurately. Of course, between the time of the interview and the time the book came out, a lot has changed but the overview of the daily battle is there. When reading the other stories, it was interesting to see how many of the families have the same underlying problems (money, control, privacy) and how each person handles them. I would recommend this book to anyone thinking about entering the step-family way of life or even someone who is there. It is an eye-opener.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars O'Connor on Stepfamilies--Readable, Practical, Usuable, March 17, 2004

By 

Roxanne Marie Anderson, PhD, LP (Alexandria, MN USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Truth about Stepfamilies: Real American Stepfamilies Speak Out (Paperback)

So many stepfamilies look for help, support, advice and direction in their ongoing efforts at "blending". This book provides a compassionate, easy-to-read and understandable description of the many faces of that journey. As a psychologist, I have read it and used it and recommended it to clients. It is a great mix of humor and reality and very usuable ideas, while allowing us to be human and imperfect and ok. Read it and pass it forward--a great gift for anyone on this challenging road!!

5.0 out of 5 stars Must-read for people about to remarry, January 12, 2004

By 

MoMac "mmccarthy66" (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Truth about Stepfamilies: Real American Stepfamilies Speak Out (Paperback)

I marvel that eight family groups were willing to bare their hopes, frustrations and down-and-dirty fights to O'Connor and readers like me. O'Connor uses their life stories to paint a powerful and ultimately hopeful picture of the challenges stepfamilies face and how they can overcome them -- or make them worse. This book helps answer the question "Why is this so hard?" and gives support to those who who fear that it's just too hard to keep going.
Anyone considering getting into -- or out of -- a stepfamily should read this.