Customer Reviews

The Truth about Stepfamilies: Real American Stepfamilies Speak Out

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
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When I read the book, it did portray our family dynamics quite accurately. Of course, between the time of the interview and the time the book came out, a lot has changed but the overview of the daily battle is there. When reading the other stories, it was interesting to see how many of the families have the same underlying problems (money, control, privacy) and how each person handles them. I would recommend this book to anyone thinking about entering the step-family way of life or even someone who is there. It is an eye-opener.

So many stepfamilies look for help, support, advice and direction in their ongoing efforts at "blending". This book provides a compassionate, easy-to-read and understandable description of the many faces of that journey. As a psychologist, I have read it and used it and recommended it to clients. It is a great mix of humor and reality and very usuable ideas, while allowing us to be human and imperfect and ok. Read it and pass it forward--a great gift for anyone on this challenging road!!

I marvel that eight family groups were willing to bare their hopes, frustrations and down-and-dirty fights to O'Connor and readers like me. O'Connor uses their life stories to paint a powerful and ultimately hopeful picture of the challenges stepfamilies face and how they can overcome them -- or make them worse. This book helps answer the question "Why is this so hard?" and gives support to those who who fear that it's just too hard to keep going.
Anyone considering getting into -- or out of -- a stepfamily should read this.

I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to stepfamilies since 1981. I have been researching stepfamilies professionally since 1979, and a stepgrandson, stepson, ex-stepfather, and stepbrother. I am an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, a contributing editor to "Your Stepfamily Online," and the author of six books about high-nurturance relationships and stepfamilies.

I recommend "The Truth About Stepfamilies" to those who want a readable, realistic overview and 'report from the field' from eight real American stepfamilies. I don't recommend it to readers who seek to understand and avoid - or resolve - the core problems that cause widespread stepfamily discontent and re/divorce in our country. If unseen or ignored, the core problems prevent average co-parents and supporters from following well-meant advice such as author O'Connor and her interviewees offer.

The real stepfamily examples O'Connor provides are representative and instructive. However, the book omits five core hazards that every stepfamily faces:

1) co-parents' psychological wounds from low-nurturance chldhoods;

2) blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to reduce it;

3) adult unawareness of five key topics: (a) human personality formation and function, (b) high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities and norms.

4) needy, love-struck unaware partners choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; and

5) little effective stepfamily help available in most communities and the media.

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