Customer Reviews

Tucks Pads 100 Count

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I can barely contain my enthusiasm for this miracle from the Gods. Does rectal itching keep you up at night? Do you constantly find your finger lodged in your crack trying to assuage the burning, itching, red hot poker in the cornhole sensations? Well then, snuggle up to a few Tucks and feel the pain melt away. A word of caution though, read the directions. After a few weeks of stuffing these things up my keister, I found that my farts were smelling like Witch Hazel...a beguiling scent to be sure, yet not at all fartlike. After that, I mistakenly wore several pads in my shorts and the alcohol and glycerin combined to create a flammable mixture which almost ruined a new pair of pants when I got too close to an open flame, I nearly rectum. All you have to do is spread your cheeks (use a small hand mirror if you have to), then with a Tucks in one hand and a chicken in the other, gently wipe your hemorrhoidal caldera and throw the pad away. What you do with the chicken is your own affair. You pervert. I should also note that these pads have done wonders for my acne, although I don't recommend using the same pad for both purposes, unless of course you don't mind your face smelling like ass all day.