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Turbulent Souls:: A Catholic Son's Return To His Jewish Family

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Some people are blessed with the ability to be religious and become true-believers. Others are blessed with the peace of being atheist. When Stephen Dubner wrote an article on how he grew up devoutly Catholic, discovered that both his parents were converts from Judaism, and then returned to his family's Jewish roots, it became The Times's most talked about article of the year. After the Sunday magazine article appeared, he was deluged by letters and calls either inviting him to temples and Sabbath dinners, or criticizing him for returning to the myths and oppression of religion. But now Stephen has expanded on his article by recounting in detail his deeply personal journey from Catholicism to Judaism. It is about religion, spirituality, hidden family histories, confusion, parents, siblings, as well as the tension, comic errors, and confusion his search and return created. Broken into three sections, Dubner focuses on the paths his mother (Miriam/Mary)and father (Solly/Paul) took to Catholicism, their Jewish roots, the reactions from their family members (sitting shiva), their marriage, and early wedded life, in Section One. Section Two begins with the birth of their eighth child Stephen J. (all the kids got a first or middle name of wither Joseph or Mary), and Stephen's life in rural New York that rotated around Mass, the Catholic feasts, and catechism; and Section Three focuses on Stephen's interest in Judaism, his search for Jewish relatives, his quest to learn more about his father (who died suddenly after giving a speech at a charismatic-Catholic prayer meeting), and his trip back. Basically, this poignant tale is a must read for Fall/Winter 98.

turbulent souls was an apt title for this book written by my brother as we both grew up in this soulful,turbulent family, although with differing viewpoints of what exactly turbulent meant. i was amazed at how stephen's thoughts were so deep and questioning, as he appeared to be a quiet, calm and even content youngster while we were growing up. stephen was always affable and agreeable as a boy, and i was flabbergasted to realize how he really felt about the Faith. i had no trouble believing what our parents, especially our mother, told us about Jesus, Heaven and all that went with it, however i truly with that i had known more about my jewish roots when i was young; i, like my brother, felt a great sense of loss of past heritage and with it, even self. when stephen hosted a wonderful reunion with about 80 relatives, some of whom i had never even heard of, i was happy beyond words. for the unconditional love of these people, my people, went beyond words--it was almost an unspoken vow of love, of knowing, of acceptance. i could feel my father's spirit smiling down on us, he was so happy, because the truth was out, and the wrongs of the past had been righted. on reading the book, i felt the deep hurt of my father's rejection by his father and family, and resented them for suddenly showing up at his funeral when i was a teen-ager, after ignoring us for so many years. i was angry with my mother for not telling me about family secrets, and for not letting stephen just be himself. why did she have to try to control everyone, even their thoughts? but i, like stephen, came to peace and terms with our mother, although i still wish that i had known my heritage with all it's richness and history and yes, dark secrets, too. i anguished, also, about my religion--what was i, anyway, was i really a catholic or was i a jew because my blood line was jewish. for months, i felt mixed-up, and i read, and re-read the book. it's too bad that our family had so many hurts and secrets, but things were very different back in my mother's and father's and their parents' days, things were not out in the open, and one reason may have been that hitler and the germans sure didn't like the Jews. Perhaps we may not have even come to be if my mother and father had not become Catholic and fled their roots to take up roots in a desolate, forsaken (it seemed like) town called Quaker Street. i still think of the City as my home, my roots are in Long Island where i was born, any my heart and soul back in Brooklyn with my Russian grandmother, eating her borsht and avoiding her questions and inquiries about our life. my mother was a domineering, strict, authoritative person, but she was also the most loving, kind and wonderful friend a mother could have. i miss her now, and i know that she is with God, and my father, and long- gone relatives jewish and Catholic, and i don't think that God cares whether they were Jewish, Catholic, Muslim, or Baptist--He only cares that they believed in him and loved him and tried to spread that love and devotion around. I am very proud of Stephen for telling his story, it is our story, and it is exceptionally well-written, funny and heart-breaking also.i would someday like to tell my story, too. the Eden steve knew and loved, was not Eden to me at all, rather a glimpse of Purgatory, especially during our father's illness and the ensuing lonliness and depression ---and especially after Dad died, it felt more like Hell.

Stephen Dubner, a former New York Times writer and editor, has written a deeply moving, heartfelt memoir of the struggles of two generations to find a religious home. His parents, both raised in Jewish homes (one devoutly orthodox and the other largely secular) by first-generation immigrants from Russia and Poland, reach adulthood during the turbulent years of World War II. Both his father and his mother grapple with their Jewish tradition and their personal religious beliefs and, ultimately, become converts to Roman Catholicism. Like many converts, the decision by Stephen's parents to adopt a new religion is not made lightly and results in a deeply didactic religious practice. Stephen grows up in a home where devout Catholic religious practice is the norm and where little is ever mentioned about the Jewish tradition his parents have rejected. As an adult, Stephen embarks on his own religious search, inheriting the same "turbulent soul" that had so deeply marked his parents' lives. Dubner aptly quotes John Henry Newman, the famous Anglican cardinal who converted to Roman Catholicism, who says, "who can know himself and the multitude of subtle influences which act upon him." He then explores, in wonderfully clear and readable prose, the many subtle influences which marked his parents' soul-searching religious struggles, as well as his own. Dubner's exploration leads him to learn more about his parents and their lives, the history of his family and its Eastern European Jewish roots, and, ultimately, to an understanding and reconciliation with his mother, who maintains her firm Catholic convictions to the end, even as Dubner returns to the Jewish faith of his grandparents. Ultimately, Dubner's memoir has an important message--that every individual who has a "turbulent soul" and seeks religious faith must be accorded the respect and autonomy of his or her beliefs. It is a message for parents, for children, and for members of all faiths: do not become so certain of your own religious "truth" that you alienate and reject the sincere, but different, beliefs of others. As Dubner says at the end of his narration of the struggle of three turbulen souls, "[i]f I am sure of one thing about God, it is that our most brilliant ideas about Him are sheer guesswork."

Off the bat, I'm happy to say that Turbulent Souls by Stephen Dubner is the best book I've read in several years. In fact I can't remember a book I've liked better over the last several years for all its combined readability, complexities, and just good plain story. I read a lot-let's face it what else is there to do in Miami?--and Dubner really has the goods here as an author, writer and thinker to make Turbulent Souls a big hit, which I think it is already.

I had a bunch of friends read the book after me; most already knew giblets of the writer's story from the cover story Dubner wrote for the New York Times Magazine on conversion. (Dubner became a Jew, or shall I say became the Jew he never had an inkling growing up he actually was.) The report back I got from everyone was that they loved the book too. I knew this not just because they said so, but because they didn't want to give it back.

What I learned from them was that whether you're a Talmudic scholar or box of rocks or anything in between, Turbulent Souls is just as rewarding. You don't even have to be Jewish to like this book, because the story is a memoir of some unique and pretty remarkable events and life changes that are what we all think about no matter what our religion, history, heritage, or family.

You might be saying, " oh no, not someone else's life story." I know what you mean-every book these days seems to be about some writer blaming their mean parents for the mess their lives have turned into. I asked why, and the kids who work at the bookstore down the street told me yesterday that we're in the "age of memoir." That also puts us in the age of bad memoir, they told me, because by the time publishers figured out it was "the age of memoir," all the good ones had already been written. All but Dubner's Turbulent Souls, that is. His turned his life swell, and he ain't self-pitying over anything.

I don't want to tell too much of the plot because I hate when people ruin the good parts. In brief-Dubner, a New York Times journalist, uses his reporter skills to first fully trace back the life story and secrets of his parents Veronica and Paul, who while Stephen was growing up were upstanding and charismatic leaders of the Catholic community where they all lived in upstate New York.

But seems there were previous lifetimes for these two. Once, Dubner's parents-- the devout rural Catholics--had been Brooklyn-born Jews named Solly Dubner and Florence Greenglass. They'd converted, for fascinating reasons that Dubner tells better than I can, but let's just say World War II had a little to do with it. None of this did Dubner have any idea of until he was an adult.

I don't know-some surprises are not worth knowing, but I'm glad Dubner chased all secrets down. Seeing the skeletons in his family's closet didn't torment him, but set him free. And with that, they weren't even skeletons anymore.

And what secrets! Sometimes Stephen writes in the third person in Turbulent Souls like an investigative reporter; when he focuses on himself he uses "me" and "I," and the combination works. He's not pretentious, and doesn't play literary games. Among other tidbits we learn in Turbulent Souls is that Dubner's mother was a first cousin of Ethel Rosenberg, the convicted atom bomb spy who went to the electric chair with her husband Julius for supposedly giving away the H-bomb And you think your family has problems? Ethel and Julius' chief accuser was David Greenglass, Ethel's brother-in-law and Mrs. Dubner's first cousin. (That goniff Roy Cohn prosecuted, and as he himself said, "it takes a Jew to get a Jew.")

Dubner's mother, following the dogma of the Catholic Church, was a staunch anti-communist, something Ethel Rosenberg was, well, not. So the family's blood kinship to Ethel too became a Dubner secret-who wants to broadcast that two of your mishpocha are apparent traitors? Especially when you're Catholic and aren't supposed to even know the word "mishpocha?"

Dubner learned everything, and what a story it is. Dubner's mother was furious when she read the book; it provides one of the many humorous-cuz-it's-happening-to-someone-else-and-not-you scenes. So who brings the two together? None other than Archbishop Cardinal O'Connor, who finally proves here to me that he is more than a canny politician, but a man who remembers he is a man of God who cares-a Catholic rav.

Dubner's spiritual odyssey doesn't end here though. He does a highly effective kind of Evelyn Wood speed-learning of Judaism to the point he now knows more than almost all the people I know who've called themselves Jews all their lives. Taking lessons from various masters, Dubner even edits the teachings of the late Chassidic Rabbi Schneerson. Actually, Dubner "ghost-edits" Schneerson's teachings-like much of his life, Dubner had been forced to live in the dark.

But no more. With Turbulent Souls, Dubner has launched himself into what I imagine will be a great and long career as an author. I want to read his next one whatever it's about. He hit a homer with this one.

So few write about Judaism well: it's either watered-down New Age feel good nonsense, or is such technical, un-understanable babble you haven't got a chance unless you've already spent a dozen years in yeshiva. Ach! Who's got the time? Not me. If I weren't so moved by this book I'd be playing golf right now, not typing.

But Dubner has found the perfect place, and voice, and story to make this a smart, universal story be you Jewish or Christian or anything at all. (I got my copy as a gift, but buy one, you'll thank me. And don't lend it because you'll never get it back.)

Some people are blessed with the ability to become true-believers without a day of doubt. Others are blessed with the peace of being atheist. Stephen Dubner's parents fell into the former camp. When Stephen Dubner wrote an article on how he grew up devoutly Catholic, discovered that both his parents were converts from Judaism, and then he returned to his family's Jewish roots, it became The Times's most talked about article of 1996. After the Sunday magazine article appeared, he was deluged by letters and calls either inviting him to temples and Sabbath dinners, or criticizing him for returning to the mythology and opiate oppression of religion. Now Stephen has expanded on his article by recounting his deeply personal journey from Catholicism to Judaism. It is about religion, spirituality, hidden family histories, confusion, parents, siblings, as well as the tension, comic errors, and confusion his search and return created. Broken into three sections, Dubner begins by focusing on the paths his mother (Florence Greenglass / Veronica) and father (Sol Dubner/ Paul) independently took to Catholicism, their Jewish roots, the reactions of their parents and siblings (sitting shiva), their marriage, and early wedded life. Section Two begins with the birth of Veronica and Paul's eighth child, Stephen J. (all the kids got a first or middle name of either Joseph or Mary), and his life in rural New York, a life of limited money that rotated around Mass, doing rosaries on the front lawn, being a good altar boy, the Catholic feasts, and catechism. Section Three focuses on Stephen's increased interest in Judaism, how his stories for an earlier job at New York Magazine drew him into a world of New York Jewish personalities, his search for Jewish relatives in Brooklyn, his quest to learn more about his father (who died suddenly after giving a speech at a charismatic-Catholic prayer meeting when Stephen was a boy), his trip back to Judaism, and his reconciliation with his devoutly Catholic mother (with some advice from Cardinal O'Connor). Basically, a poignant memoir and a must read.

It has been a very long while since being touched so deeply by a book. As a Jew, I had been asked so often by my children as to what exactly is a Jew, finding specific explanations a most challening task. My responses of tradition, home, and spirit were not enough to satisfy their feelings of being "different" from most of their friends. Stephen Dubner addresses and answers all of those questions. His touching insight that evolves in his discovery, understanding, and eventual embracing of the Jewish faith provides some of the most meaningful explanations I have ever read. His respect and concern for his parents while on his journey, was the most touching of all. I have recommended this book to everyone I know, including my children. Don't overlook the interview with author at the end of the book. It provides some of the best insight of all!

Mr. Dubner, through an intensely personal experience, has managed to impart a wonderful gift to all willing readers. His book tells the story of three soulful, complicated people who, at particularly vulnerable times in their lives, could not, or would not, ignore their inner voices. From the moment the book begins, in Brooklyn, New York, pre- World War II, you are drawn to the two Jewish characters, Florence and Solly, who would eventually become Mr. Dubner's Catholic parents, Veronica and Paul. Mr. Dubner's heartwarming description of his strict Catholic upbringing is enough to keep your attention but the true gem of this memoir is found once Mr. Dubner attempts to discover his once hidden Jewish roots. From the first page to the last, for the ultra-religious to the non-believer, this is a book not to be missed. This book will urge you to (re)discover your own roots.

This is, very simply, an amazing book. I am the daughter of a Catholic mother and Jewish Father who for the past 10 years has been searching for some semblance of spirituality in my life. I could have written many of the passages in this book, as they tell so accurately how I feel about my mixed background. On Jesus Christ: "...how shabbily he had treated me, leaving me to trudge between the mountains of belief and disbelief, too uninspired to climb the first, too timid to climb the latter." I had to stop when I read that as it is exactly how I feel! I always thought I was crazy because I feel so almost magnetically pulled toward my Jewish heritage, but now I know it is because I have "curling around somewhere inside me a neshuma, a Jewish soul." According to Jewish halachah (law), I am not Jewish because I am patrilineally descended...but, thank you, Stephen Dubner, for validating my Jewishness and letting me know that it's OK to follow my soul's longing for Judaism no matter what obstacles may stand in my way.

Stephen Dubner, a former New York Times writer and editor, has written a deeply moving, heartfelt memoir of the struggles of two generations to find a religious home. His parents, both raised in Jewish homes (one devoutly orthodox and the other largely secular) by first-generation immigrants from Russia and Poland, reach adulthood during the turbulent years of World War II. Both his father and his mother grapple with their Jewish tradition and their personal religious beliefs and, ultimately, become converts to Roman Catholicism. Like many converts, the decision by Stephen's parents to adopt a new religion is not made lightly and results in a deeply didactic religious practice. Stephen grows up in a home where devout Catholic religious practice is the norm and where little is ever mentioned about the Jewish tradition his parents have rejected. As an adult, Stephen embarks on his own religious search, inheriting the same "turbulent soul" that had so deeply marked his parents' lives. Dubner aptly quotes John Henry Newman, the famous Anglican cardinal who converted to Roman Catholicism, who says, "who can know himself and the multitude of subtle influences which act upon him." He then explores, in wonderfully clear and readable prose, the many subtle influences which marked his parents' soul-searching religious struggles, as well as his own. Dubner's exploration leads him to learn more about his parents and their lives, the history of his family and its Eastern European Jewish roots, and, ultimately, to an understanding and reconciliation with his mother, who maintains her firm Catholic convictions to the end, even as Dubner returns to the Jewish faith of his grandparents. Ultimately, Dubner's memoir has an important message--that every individual who has a "turbulent soul" and seeks religious faith must be accorded the respect and autonomy of his or her beliefs. It is a message for parents, for children, and for members of all faiths: do not become so certain of your own religious "truth" that you alienate and reject the sincere, but different, beliefs of others. As Dubner says at the end of his narration of the struggle of three turbulen souls, "[i]f I am sure of one thing about God, it is that our most brilliant ideas about Him are sheer guesswork."

Turbulent Souls gives a fine account of the many journeys that took place within the Dubner Family Tree. Stephen Dubner traces his family roots which amazingly were rooted in Judaism. Its quite interesting how both of Stephen's parents became Catholics. In the case of Stephen's father, Sol(later Paul)it seemed as if he was rebelling against his overbearing father. Paul's story shows you that you cannot force feed religion into a young soul trying to emerge.

As for Stephen's mother, Florence(later Veronica) the religious influence was fairly weak at home. Not to mention any sort of guidance as Veronica recalls rarely spending time at home during her teen years. Therefore, Veronica became a willing convert.

Very compelling is the effects this dual conversion had upon this future couples family. In Judaism very often a period of mourning takes place and surely Paul became lost to his original family. Amazingly Paul and Veronica seemd to become perfect Catholics to the point of almost totally denying any past affiliation with their Jewish roots.

Stephen's life goes through many turbulent periods. His exposure to the Catholic religion is a lot at first. Whereas he does not reject these teachings, over time Stephen develops other interests most notably the desire to become a musician. Like his parents, he encounters people who encourage him to explore his roots. When he finally does, Stephen becomes enamored with his family history and researches his roots to the point of exploring towns which were touched by the Holocaust.

In spite of the difference of opinion with his mother's own spiritual path, Stephen is able to keep this relationship positive. Furthermore, he creates strong bonds with other family members both Catholic and Jewish. Whereas Stephen's articles meet with feedback both good and bad, at least our hero can say he was able to evolve spiritually while touching others along the way.

I highly recommend this biography which interweaves the spiritual journey of a family over the course of this past century.